Is it normal for her to not know whats wrong?

36% Normal
8 Comments

Hey all.
So my long distance girlfriend and I of about 8 months just got back together from a break of two weeks while i was visiting her for winter break. Like minimal contact and such. I was scatter brained throughout the entire break because I didn't know what was going on with her.
Anyways her reasoning for wanting this break was because something had changed in her, I noticed this as well she stopped wanting to be intimate(not just sex but holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc) and she wanted some time to figure herself out. At first I thought it was a good thing but then I asked how she was doing about three days into the break and she said she misses parts of me and still loves me.
Anyways, the break has ended as of yesterday and things are not the same. I asked her if she still wanted to be with me and she said yes. However she said she doesn't want each other to always be worrying about what each other is doing. Didn't want to text all day everyday despite neither of us getting mad when the other didn't text back previously. She also said she would feel uncomfortable if I flirted with her too much and did cute things for her.
But I digress;
Our texts have been short and to the point there isn't any if the emotion that was there previously and I always text her first. She said she still loves me as of yesterday yet every time we text or communicate it just seems like I'm talking to a brick wall.
I've asked her if she figured out what had changed in her and she said no.
I still haven't gotten to see her yet as I'm in college and she is back home. However it's not too far away where I couldn't visit often.
The attached photo is all the issues she said she had with me. Her solution to the issues is to just act normal, be a good boyfriend, and despite me not believing that will work as these issues arise due to her not telling me they were there. Forcing it will not help as well.
So in conclusion is it normal for this kind of behavior out of a girl in her position. Any feedback would be helpful y'all.
A little background on her: she has anxiety and chronic depression, recently quit cigarettes after 5 years of smoking, and she is usually very straightforward with me.

Voting Results
36% Normal
Based on 14 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    To state the obvious, she wants more distance in the relationship and you want less: how you resolve that I do not know, unless one of you is prepared to put up with the other person's wishes prevailing.

    I don't know how to access the photo you refer to

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    • kom367
      8 years ago

      Basically it says she is sick of worrying about if I'll get a job, get good grades, she doesn't want me to get mad if she didn't want to hang out all the time, and she doesn't like all day conversations about how shitty things are. I told her to trust me and that I would never do anything to betray her trust.

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      • myrealthoughts
        8 years ago

        Just sounds to me that she isn't wanting to be as serious with you as you are with her, relationships bring stress and sounds like she's happy without the stress you bring into her life! :)

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        Your last sentence isn't a response to what you say her issues are. It sounds as if your end of the communication has been dominated by fears and worries and she doesn't want to listen to that any more.

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  • Phuddee
    8 years ago

    Am sorry bro but my feeling is entirely different. It seems that someone else has entered in her life. Perhaps she wants to get rid of you but not all if a sudden. She is just preparing you for the worst. I hope its not true.

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  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    I guess it's normal for someone with severe depression and going through nicotine withdrawal (it could worsen her anxiety) to just lose interest in everything and become more irritable.

    However, it's not okay for her to try and change you or tell you have to love her. If you want to be by her side through this, I suggest you read about addiction and how to help someone through it; because if you don't, you're a going to be extremely confused and sad for a while until her body is stable.

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  • yu-gi-ohChampion25
    8 years ago

    its probably making her anxious and nervous going through nicotine withdrawl. she probably just wants to stay in bed for a while i wouldn't worry too much.

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    • kom367
      8 years ago

      Yeah im thinking that as well. Hopefully that's the reasoning and its that simple

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