Is it normal for her to cling so much?

44% Normal
7 Comments

I met a girl online a few months back. We talked a lot and really hit it off. We agreed for a long time to stay as friends since the distance was a factor and we really wanted to keep ourselves available to people closer by.

As she got to know me better, she desired a much closer relationship. I was curious about it myself since i had never tried a relationship online only and after thinking on it a good while, i decided to dive in.

It started out well, but quickly dragged down as intimacy was impossible but there was also a lot more heated discussions. Though not full on arguments, she has a habit of thinking very critically and over thinking a lot of things i felt should flow more naturally while she felt the need to force them.

I decided to break it off gently with her, as best I could anyway. I told her she could call me, skype me, chat with me about whatever she needed cause i do feel close to her, but the romantic desire has long passed. Still she clings now, pushing harder and harder for us to get back together, but I've told her again and again I have no desire to do this cause of how we fought, and a few other personal conflicts.

I'm not sure what to do, and i wonder if I'm being a jerk or if she's just pushing too hard for something i just don't feel is right anymore.

Voting Results
44% Normal
Based on 27 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • kelili
    11 years ago

    She's pushing too hard and you are encouraging her. You should just block her out of your life and I think that this is the best you can do for her.

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  • Ldizzy1234
    11 years ago

    You're not being a jerk at all. Her behavior is not acceptable or appropriate. You told her how you felt. She should respect that. You need to tell her one last time that you can't give her what she wants, its gonna be just an online friendship or nothing at all, because you're just not feeling it. And firmly tell her that if she can't accept that; then you will cut all contact altogether.

    She must really like you a lot, but she's acting really immature, and it sounds a little ridiculous. She's just making it harder on herself.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I think it's hard for her that you two are to be close, but just friends.

    Could you be together online and in person?

    If you are sure that you do not want to be together, you need to be clear about how you feel. No whining or bitching about being alone, being hurt by other women, saying how she's so amazing, do you get what I'm going at? It's possible that it's all her, and that you aren't leading her on, but you might be. You can communicate, but you need there to be a clear line. You two are only friends.

    You could also not communicate for awhile. I think this is kind of mean, but maybe it would be for the best. If you never spoke to her again that would be really mean, but if she makes you uncomfortable then let her know you don't want to communicate and do it.

    This is my advice.

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  • suishokiba
    11 years ago

    yes it's normal, no it's not good. if one likes the other, but the other doesn't, it's going to be very hard be friends. I've tried more than once, and it's never worked for me being just friends. that only works when both people completely accept it.

    okay my advice is, not to talk for a while, until she can accept that it's over between you two. when you talk to her, don't be cold, but don't be friendly either. she just needs time away from you. hopefully she has friends she can talk to while she goes through it.

    tell her that you care and still want her to talk to her, but only as friends.

    good luck~

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    "I feel like a jerk"

    Some of the best decisions I've ever made in life I felt terrible about and some things I felt wonderful about, turned around and blew up in my face.

    Point is, your emotions have no baring on whether or not you did the right thing unfortunately.

    Put your foot down and cut off all contact. Don't give her even the slightest encouragement.

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  • ibreathelectric
    11 years ago

    I swear you're my ex-boyfriend to a tee... except I wasn't the online girl. I was the girlfriend after it, having to watch my (then) boyfriend and his ex-online girlfriend continue to have skype 'dates' while WE were dating, I felt like I was being blatantly cheated on. If I could spare this for any girl, I'll tell you this: get rid of her yesterday. If nothing is going to happen between you two, cut all ties completely. Don't ruin your future potential real-life relationships with her constantly in the background. Current girlfriends might see her as a threat and begin to wonder why you're making such an effort to keep up such a difficult relationship if she's still interested and you're not.

    Bottom line: you may feel like a jerk, but keeping her around is going to perpetuate a ton of other issues you probably didn't think about from future girlfriends' perspectives.

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  • sexxybitch:)
    11 years ago

    U are not being a jerk ! Js :)

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