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My friend dated her boyfriend exclusively for two years. When he put on 50 pounds of fat when his job was stressing him out, she dumped him. She said it was because he repulsed her now, otherwise there was nothing else wrong with him. I told her she was being a bitch but she thinks she's justified.
If she ended a two year relationship over something as silly as that, then she's not really the type that should be in a relationship.
People who are actually serious about a relationship, don't mind the little things so much. They understand that certain things outweigh(ha, what a coincidence) other things. If, by him putting on a little weight was the only thing that turned her off, and for her to disregard that they had a two year relationship together, and if he was a good guy throughout that two year relationship, then I think its shameful she'd overlook that because of a little gain in weight. Especially since weight is something that can be changed.
She sounds immature. I'm also wondering what her reaction is gonna be like if he loses the weight. Will she run back? I think he'd be a fool to take her back.
Why is that surprising? should she be forced to stay with someone that she no longer attracted to?
There is nothing wrong with it. Part of attaction is physical attraction, and it was her right to leave him if she was no longer physically attracted to him.
Just like if a man doesn't want to be with a woman that got fatter, she doesn't meet the physical attraction he wants, and so leaves.
I hope there is a lot of negative comments about this girl, though. I have seen a few stories about this when a guy does it, and everyone was furious.
I was going to fire off a negative comment about how that is fucking shallow and she should have at least been compassionate enough to attempt to help him lose the weight. Either you're going to be there for someone or you are not.
But your comment is making me think about it a little differently... Oh hell, I'll post the comment anyway.
I think most people were answering "Is it ok?" on this one. It's normal, but it's a terrible thing to do.
Well 50 pounds can make you look like a different person. If I were her I would try to motivate him lose weight and do things to make him less stressed. If all else fails, I would leave. I wouldn't want to be with someone who repulsed me. I don't blame her for dumping him.
My brother is actually in a very similar situation right now. His girlfriend has always been slightly overweight, but she's suddenly ballooned and put on alot of weight. The doctor has said to her that she is clinically obese and needs to lose at least 20 pounds, and my brother suggested they lose weight together etc - she didn't want to. Eventually, he ended up saying something that hurt her feelings, and now he feels like the bad guy. He felt like he needed her to do something for the health of their sex life and their relationship, and that's not his fault. At the end of the day, physical attraction is immensely important in a relationship - it's not the fault of the partner that their boyfriend or girlfriend has suddenly changed, they've stayed the same. I think if she cared about him (my brother truly loves his gf and he's not thinking about dumping her, I'm just saying that it can cause genuine problems) she wouldn't have dumped him, but have tried to help - but I don't think it's fair to call her a bitch. Different things matter to different people, and this was clearly a dealbreaker for her.
While I agree with ItDuz, I do not think that it is right. I think that it was a pretty shallow move but I am assuming that she made no attempt to help him lose the weight, encourage him to continue a healthy lifestyle or at least support him when he needed her the most.
Obviously, the relationship did not mean enough to her for her to attempt to help steer him in the right direction and I feel bad for the both of them. My only hope is that he saw the relationship in as shallow and superficial of a manner as she did.
However, I can not judge. If she did try to help him and he refused any help, then maybe it is a good thing that they broke it off. 50 pounds in a few months is a hell of a downhill fall as far as not taking care of yourself goes and I would hate to be in a relationship in which my partner does not have the concern for his health necessary to keep himself in halfway decent shape and I wouldn't blame a partner for feeling the same.
However, I am married. If my husband left me for my weight or vice-versa... that'd be a pretty bitch move.
It's probably not normal, but if his weight is of such importance for her, it is her decision. If she told him before and tried to help him lose his weight again, it's completely okay.
As for all of you who think she's a bitch: When would you leave your partner? When he/she gained 60 pounds? 100 pounds? 200 pounds? Don't say "Never!" as nobody would believe this.
I'm going to say this isn't normal. That person was really shallow.
If you have gained weight, it doesn't necessarily mean you're not taking care of yourself, or a useless partner. In the last couple of years I have gained about the same amount of weight, due to taking anti-depressants to combat a traumatic emotional event I had a couple of years ago. I haven't been able to lose the weight since.
BUT I eat very well, and certainly don't consume enough calories in the day to warrant the extra weight I'm carrying. This may not relate to the story, but is just an example of how life can change, you can put on weight, and it isn't a measure of how healthy you are, or how well you look after yourself and your partner.
Ok first of all NO ONE wants a lard ass of a boyfriend. No one. That is disgusting, appalling, repulsive. ughh!
Kudos to the girl for le4aving the fatso. A healthy relationship has the physical attraction, the sexual factor.
Completely normal... She fell in love with (or just started dating him) for who he WAS. When you go into a depression so bad that you gain 50 lbs, he isn't the same person and is fat. That isn't who she started dating 2 years ago so YES it is normal. The boyfriend should of thought of HER and not gained all that weight and hit them gym.
Thus be right, if my hoe be getzz 50 poundz I'd dump that bitch yo. be fit, or no clit. no pecs, no sex,
she was obviouly looking for esuses to dump him.odds are she never really like him she probley only liked the idea of having a boyfriend
the guy is obviously under a lot of pressure, and for her to dump him cause he got fat is shallow. (I feel the same way in the opposite scenario) I could understand if he turned abusive, or they fought A lot,but not just cause he gained weight. Im surprized she didnt try to help him deal with the stress, and lose the weight.
If she's going to break up with him over something like that then I'm just wondering if the relationship was even worth having. It just seems like such a silly thing to end a two year relationship over. Maybe it is justified, but I don't understand it.
But then again, if she's repulsed then it makes sense.
Perfectly fine for her to leave him. Obviously he doesn't care about himself. Every person I know deals with stress. None of them gain 50 pounds. Not only does it show he doesn't care about himself, but more importantly it shows he can't care for her either.
im not like obese thru and he told me the same if i ever gpt really fn fat he would have to leave me. It is normal if he got extremely obeses if he just got fat tho and not that bad then uh i wud say she is one of those spoiled brats who only care for themselves. Ily my hubby no matter what (3 he just cnt be to fat for sex and walking lmao
im fat so obviously i wud stay with my skinny bf if he got fat but i still have standards no matter how much i love him and the person he is if he is sittin up in a power chair bc he is so fn fat its time for him to sadly kick rocks
I know people who would do the same thing. A friend of mine holds "attraction" above anything else. I however, wouldn't. I'm very adaptable, plus I don't really mind fat, and the situation is understandable. It's not like their appearance is the only thing you should love about them either.
I agree with dizzy
Plus if she feels like the relationship is questionable do to one of them doing acts that can be seen as relationship deal breakers, she may grasp onto an excuse like weight to not let him truly find out something she knows
Yall are gonna get fat at some point and did i mention OLD? And UGLY AND WRINKLY?! Scary thought ay? She's a bitch. She could have helped hom lose the weight.
I dont need to write a long comment to say She is a spoiled fvcking bitch. Whoever dumps someone over this doesnt deserve to be human or to date human! But thats just my opinion
Well, now the bitch is out of the way, just jump in and have some sex with him. If it bothers your bitchfriend then she might go back to him. If not, you got some free sex out of it!
hello. my name is hamid. i soon to be in usa for promice from friend here i meet. i like very much the ticket they send for promice hamid. since you are leaving your man i promice i will buy you to by my wife. thank you muchly to be wife.
-hamid
actually, stress tends to add weight, in the form of cortisol. the body turns more of whats eaten to fat, and sometimes it triggers the body to eat more, so the body can have that as energy when it faces the danger. Its a part of the "fight-or flight" reponse. now, if a person starves themself, or eats very little during stress, then they may lose weight.