Is it normal for guys to pick out a girl they know is damaged?

65% Normal
23 Comments

Without even knowing the girl! I've always wondered about this shit. Like, how do y'all know how to pinpoint us & make us your target. Hunt us down & manipulate us to get what you want & act like you care about what caused our depression. Is it a natural instinct or something because y'all be on that hunter shit. It's not even like we put ourselves out there like that, it even happens over the Internet with people you haven't met yet too!! Am I just walking around with an invisible sign on my head that says Damaged Easy Prey? Lawd.

Ladies you feel me, right?

Voting Results
65% Normal
Based on 72 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • Shackleford96
    11 years ago

    Why do i feel like a dude wrote this? XD

    I am always drawn to the 'damaged' ones. Not because i wish to take advantage, but because they are the ones i relate to the most.

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    • Anime7
      11 years ago

      I'm the same way in that I like girls who have self esteem problems, like I do. But practically all of the girls that I've met who have those kinds of issues are really mean and violent so they're not really the kind of person I can bond with.

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      • Shackleford96
        11 years ago

        The last girl i really liked was like that. She was often hateful, spiteful, vindictive, and very self-centered. She never really cared to listen to me and my problems when i had any. She used me and led me on because she knew i liked her and would take her places in my truck and stuff. She also held grudges. It took me a long time and it wasn't easy for me to accept, but i finally got away from her once i realized what she truly was. When i say got away, i mean literally moved away and forced myself not to contact her...

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        • Anime7
          11 years ago

          I'm sorry that you had to meet up with a girl like that, but at least the story had a good ending. Why did you even like her in the first place? If you don't mind me asking.

          In all honesty, those types of girls are the ones that I meet a lot that have obviously low self esteems. Maybe it's just me, but if I meet a girl with a low self esteem, I'd like her to be reserved, and a good person.

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          • Shackleford96
            11 years ago

            Thank you.

            Well, she wasn't always like the ways I described. Those were just the absolute worst aspects of her personality; her 'true colors.' When she wasn't all those bad things, she was often quite a lovely person I thought.

            She was pretty (not HOT by any means, but pretty). She was smart and intellectual. She liked to dance and to get exercise. She loved to sing and we listened to much of the same type of music (which is a rarity I find). She was raised in the country, and she liked the outdoors and animals. She didn't have a lot of money. She loved to read and she loved to watch movies as well as certain television shows. She was a friendly, caring, and loving individual on her good days. She was often humorously sarcastic and was usually very candid. She was fun to be around. She smiled and laughed, and when she did, it was always genuine. She always hated taking photos though...

            Some of my most memorable moments with her are when we used to sing together in my truck. Even though I'm not a good singer, it was still fun singing with her. I still miss that.

            I even got along good with her two sisters and her grandma. She lived with her younger sister and her grandma at the time, and I miss them too.

            I just really enjoyed spending time with her. I also came to hate spending time with her though. I realized that it was becoming more painful for me to be around her, even though I liked being around her, than it was to not be around her. It was because of the feelings I had for her, and she didn't have those same feelings for me. When I realized this, the way she really was, and that things weren't going to change if I stuck around, I had to get away.

            So I did, and I've felt better every since. I'm still not fully happy, because I still get lonely sometimes, but at least I'm not in pain anymore.

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            • Anime7
              11 years ago

              That's deep.

              I gotta say she sounds like a wonderful person, on her good days. It's honestly almost like you described a totally different person than the one in your previous post. I wish it that it worked out for you two. Honestly though she sounds awesome, and again totally different than the person you first described. It sounded like you two were really good friends and again it sucks that it didn't work out.

              I'm sorry to hear that you're not fully happy, I can understand that. But I'm glad that you're not in pain though.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    There are signs, I'd imagine, and if people are specifically looking for them, they will target you. I do worry this about IIN sometimes, that people are going to be targetted and - from speaking to a few people - I've heard it happens. It's a shame because I think it discourages people from being open here.

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    There are signs to tell that you're depressed or an easy target. I remember that I was talking to this one kid who use to bully me and I asked him how he knew that I was an easy target. His reply was and I quote, "the way I walk, how I have my head low, that tells me that you don't have any confidence." From him, who I'm now pretty good friends with, I learned that the subtle things about people that can give you a good hint at how high there confidence is. That's just my experience though.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I do this, I can sense one even before speaking to her. I didn't learn it anywhere, so it must be something some men are born with. It is strange I guess, but we don't really have "set in stone" ways of knowing, we just get a sudden vibe. The other half is how the girl responds to what you say. If she seems smart or not, if she responds to "suggestion" quickly, that sort of thing. The only other thing that I notice is "father complex" thingo people always shit on about, it's easily apparent to some guys. Those women treat you like you're both in a team and you are the leader from the moment you meet them, they don't emotionally resist anything. And "weakened" women sort of put the vibe out there themselves, they are kind of drawn to "bad guys" like a magnet. That's why women who've been with an abuser tend to have a history of guys like that, little ever changes. I've heard some women say it's because they feel weak so they look for the "strong and confident" but they confuse it with "vicious and vindictive". The other type being the "care giver" or "mothering type" of woman who gets the worst of it. The guy who meets this type of broad can fuck up, abuse and lie because he fakes being "damaged or weak" and she can't help but "mother" him. "He's got problems, I must help" and "It'll get better" are are all you'll hear from these girls, completely unaware of the total con-man they're defending.

    Don't trust "really nice guys" early, ever.

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    • Justsomejerk
      11 years ago

      Shut up you fool.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        You have no idea.

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    • ccjigsaw
      11 years ago

      Ohhh. Very insightful. I was reading the types and picked out which one I am lol I'm the last one. Sure can mess you over being that type of person...

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Guys have their ways of knowing. Trust me. We can get a lot of information simply by movement.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    I don't know if they "KNOW" that you are damaged and purposefully target you, you're probably just the only girls that will fall for their bullshit.

    A girl with a healthy mentality probably won't take that manipulation shit for long. Of course he wouldn't be with her for long. If a guy finds a girl he thinks he can use and realizes that she will take his crap, he'll stick around and milk her like a fucking cow. I have seen this happen, and what's worse is that these girls have low-confidence and they don't realize that loving someone just not justify fucking them over like that, so they never leave them.

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  • mixwell
    11 years ago

    because you're easy to fuck and thats our motive.. I dont think on average most guys know ur damaged without knowing you.

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  • prasatko
    11 years ago

    In some cases it might be caused not by the fact that these girls are depressed or have other problems but because the guys can sense that the girl ("damaged" or not) can be easily manipulated or that she is naive as a person.

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  • Riddler
    9 years ago

    I don't know really. I been made a target but I am not sure what I am doing wrong. It happens a lot though. Be it on the computer or off. Though I fail to understand whats really wrong with me. When I try to ask people they take it as im being self centered and just tell me to go fuck myself.

    So I guess ill never know. I am not one of those people who will really pick up on these suddle cues so I cant really describe what identifys a weak, sad, vulnerable person. I can predict situations based on behavior but that is based on outer behavior not suddle movements.

    I been told I made myself a target and I was told this as a child. Though I never understand what I was doing wrong. I was always polite and kind of would mind my own business and did everything I was told as a child.

    Despite this I would still be chased, bullied, picked on and rejected by my peers. If I was in the wrong or if I was in the right. Sometimes people seem to be trying to pick at nerves and than I realize they have gotten the impression I was insecure.

    I not sure how though. Even on sites where I hide everything other than my gender. Even if I don't ever talk about myself. I not sure what shows an insecure person. I guess not being a dick. Maybe you were not enough of a dick and they mistook that as weakness.

    I know I personally tend to gravitate towards dysfunctional people just because dysfunctional people are always so weird. They often don't have many friends either or are usually rejected and so are less likely to reject you. I cant really deal with normal people though. I don't watch sports and I don't go to church so I cant tolerate a person who talks about NOTHING but football and church. I really don't care!

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    Hmm... I'm into guys like that. It's a curse really. It's not cause they're easy prey, I have these crazy maternal instincts that make me want to glomp.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    if by damaged you mean has had her heart broke by another guy, then it prob. is normal for some guys to do that because they know she's vulnerable as in just by complimenting her, being nice to her,etc. their chances of getting sex from her is good. a lot of men are pigs like that! it's called devious. all though there's a lot of women like that too.

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