Is it normal for guys to do this...?

2 Comments

So I'm 20 years old. I randomly decided to make a Tinder account just for fun. I ended up matching with this guy who's my age, really cute but kinda cheesy. We start texting, and then he asks about hanging out sometime soon. I tell him, I'll think about, and then when I finally tell him where I think we should meet, he's like, Ok, but then asks if we can just meet today. I'm like, Sure.

So we meet and at first it's a little awkward. Eventually, it's not as awkward, but then he tries to cuddle with me and it makes me feel a little weird. Then he tries to kiss me and I'm kind of like... not reciprocating. I don't know if this is what people usually do on first dates (as I don't have too much experience with dating) but it just didn't feel right to me, so I just told him that I didnt kiss on first dates. He said, Ok, and so I was like, Maybe next time (even though I didnt think there'd be a next time).

After that was over, he texts me the next day, asking how my day was going and stuff, so I respond and the conversation goes on for a little until it just stops and he doesn't respond.

A little over a week passes and he messages me and we talk for a little and then he stops messaging me AGAIN. So I'm just wondering to myself, Is this guy interested or not? Or is he just not that big on texting?

So a few days ago, he texts me again. Eventually, he asks me out to the movies and I'm like, Sure, why not? So I'm getting ready and we leave together. He's cuddling me and eventually let's me have something of his. We get to the movies and he pays for everything, but throughout the movie he keeps kissing me (and I kiss back) and he's touching me, but the movie was shitty so we leave. He walks me back to where I need to go and it was nice. He was nice and it really made me like him a lot more. He then asks if I'd like to "go out" with him, and I mean, I was starting to like him a lot so I said, Why not? I wanted to get to know him better.

So we arrive to my room and he asks if he can come up. I say, Yes. And basically, you can already guess what happened. we had sex. So the next day, he texts me a good morning. I ask him if he wants to hang out later on that day. He says sure, but he may fall asleep on me (we both only got 4 to 5 hours of sleep the night before so I understood.) I told him that's ok, he should just rest. It's been a few days and he hasn't texted me or anything. I sent him a message (some pics) yesterday, but still, nothing. When we were walking to my room, I asked him why he took so long to respond to my messages, and he just said he's really tired when he gets off work...

I don't know what to do. I like him, and whenever I'm with him, he seems to like me too. I feel so naive and stupid for having sex with him because it makes me feel like he only said certain things to do just that. I just don't know if I should forget about him and move on...or if I should grow some balls and ask him if he's interested in me...or if he's just not that big on texting? What do y'all think? Is it normal for guys to do this?

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Comments ( 2 )
  • angryblonde
    5 years ago

    Maybe when you rejected the first kiss, he perceived you as playing hard to get (which is dumb) and so now he’s trying to play hard to get. Either that or he just wanted in your pants. Last possibility that comes to mind is that he is genuinely tired. Is he leaving you on read or could he just be sleeping? I never used Tinder so I don’t know if you can tell if he actually seen your message, but unless you know for a fact that he’s leaving you on read, I would assume that he is genuinely tired/sleeping.

    Best thing to do is ask him about it in a way that won’t make you seem like you’re accusing him of anything.

    Also you should ask him about it in person so you have a better chance of knowing if he’s lying. Search on google how to tell if a person is lying. Read his body language and ask, “Do you really like me or am I just a booty call?” is what I would do.

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  • hungDaddy
    5 years ago

    TBH, I've been in literally the exact same situation. Don't push things excessively, but make sure you know EXACTLY what he wants from this.

    From my experience, the guy and I hit it off really well and went on weekly dates for about a month, had sex once, but it fell out due to a difference in race (his family is very traditional Filipino and he was scared to bring a white girl home). However, towards the end, he kind of drifted away a bunch of times and would randomly come back.

    What I ended up doing was responded every time, but reciprocated his emotions. Like, if he seemed really into the conversation, I would send long texts and lots of emojis and hint that I wanted to see him. If it was a typical "hey hru", I would just responded with bleak responses as well.

    All in all, I hope you're able to work things out with this guy!!

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