Is it normal for girls to say yes to not hurt your feelings?

14 Comments

i finally got the courage to ask this girl out, and she said yes. we exchanged phone numbers as she had to leave, so we texted each other. she told me her story. i asked her out the day after her boyfriend broke up with her. she said she needed some time to recover. its been a few weeks now and she doesnt even share eye contact with me in class. she also rushes out of class as though to avoid talking to me. how long is reasonable time to recover from a breakup before its time to move on? shes being a bit secretive to me as well, as in she keeps to herself.

in the text she told me she said yes to not let me down, but im afraid she did this not to hurt my feelings. i honestly would be more hurt if she said she changed her mind and actually doesnt want to date me, as it would have saved me a lot of trouble. i prefer she would have said no if she truly didnt want to date me rather than putting me through this facade.

yes, they dont want to hurt feelings 8
no, they are honest if they like you 1
its better to say no 3
its better to say yes then say no later 1
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Comments ( 14 )
  • felixy
    7 years ago

    Don't blame her for being a girl. Girls are naturally more risk averse—they're going to avoid direct confrontation whenever possible, and they hate making decisions (even if it's something unimportant).

    The reality is that you aren't attractive enough for her. That's all there is to it. You should improve yourself.

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    • here2help
      7 years ago

      ive already come to that conclusion. ive also realized i need to improve myself, so ive been exercising more and all that. im not blaming her im just wondering what her thought process is

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  • peterrabbyt3
    7 years ago

    Does she know that you suck cocks on the side?

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    • here2help
      7 years ago

      no i havent told her, should I?

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      • peterrabbyt3
        7 years ago

        No, you should suck my cock and I will tell her when I fuck her again.

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        • here2help
          7 years ago

          sounds like a plan. it would be easier for you to tell her i think

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          • peterrabbyt3
            7 years ago

            OK I told her so now its time for you to suck my cock!

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            • here2help
              7 years ago

              good make sure you buy that nice grape jelly and slather ur dick

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  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago

    This whole thang depends on the person of course.

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    • here2help
      7 years ago

      care to elaborate? what can i provide about her to make it easier to figure out/

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      • RoseIsabella
        7 years ago

        I dunno, I'm not a mind reader. Some people will say yes to an invitation if they feel pressured to do so, and then retract that yes later.

        I try to be honest for the most part, but I suppose my least honest response when someone I wasn't interested in would ask me out in the past was to tell the person that I had boyfriend when I was in fact single. I remember a couple of assholes on two separate ocassions not only asking me if I had a boyfriend, but having the nerve to ask me if I was married. I think that's way to personal and prying of a question. Now that I'm much older I think I would just tell the person that the question is too personal.

        It sounds like either this girl was just saying yes to pacify you at the time or that perhaps she had second thoughts. I know this sounds very cliché, but try not to take this retraction and rejection too personally as there are plenty more fish in the sea. I'm sorry you had this experience, but right now your best course action is to just forget about it and leave her alone.

        I can't really form much of an opinion, but I would highly advice you to just relax and be yourself when you're trying to ask someone out. Don't try to pressure the person or be persuasive in any way, just be casual.

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        • here2help
          7 years ago

          Good information. When i asked her out i was very casual, easy going, i didnt say anything to get her to pity me and say yes. I went in asking her if she wanted to go out sometime with the expectation that she would say no. I also expected this to be a short relationship, maybe like a hook up a few times and just part our separate ways. I dont know if i was being clear earlier, but it really wouldnt bother me if she changed her mind, and i realize she isnt the only person who would consider dating me. i just think its a bit of a hassle to have to go through this, and shes taking her good ol time being honest with me wether or not she is truly interested. im not holding anything against her though.

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          • RoseIsabella
            7 years ago

            Yeah, I dunno what's up with some people being uncomfortable with confrontation or definative answers. I'd personally take the person's silence and distance as a no response. For the most part it's best to be honest.

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            • here2help
              7 years ago

              i think one thing is that she feels a lot of emotional pain and doesnt want to be the cause of someone elses pain, ie me. i understand why she may want to do that nd its a nice gesture but it helps nobody.

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