Is it normal for friends to always put family ahead of you?

"I refuse to come in 2nd to last place in their lives. I mean I understand family does come first and that family is important. But..."

^You contradicted yourself here.

Unless the family is abusive or neglectful, that bond tends to be stronger than friendship. Maybe the problem is that you aren't very close to your family and you want someone to share those issues with.

Can you give a concrete example of how they "choose" their family over you?

I wish I had noticed that before I married someone just like that. You are ok.

Hi- I know and understand how you feel. I have had a friend who completely ignores me when she has better or more things to do with her family and only talks with me when she needs something, is bored, or wants to take advantage of, like money, or dining out paid for by you or need a shoulder to cry on. a back up friend to better explain it. It's the feeling, those types treats you like family when they want something from you and doesn't when they don't need you at the moment. you just know something's off, many people know family comes first and those conditional types will take advantage of that as an excuse to brush you off and apologize for being a terrible friend, guilting yu back in when they want you. In my case, My friend talks to me when she has nothing better to do with her family, either or both, immediate or extended, and friends for their activities and parities. My definition of a good friend is someone who would attempt to include you as family friend, publicly considers you a good friend as family and would let you know what's going on even if they're busy. but she never includes me or tell me abt her family activities unless she needs more people or her kids' birthday parties, parities, and popularity to show off to other people how many people came. She never publicly say im her best friend or family friend, sister or something similar. That type of friend is a conditional friend while you, on the other hand, is an unconditional friend. that is why it eats at you emotionally. Conditional friends like that doesn't consider you a priority in their conditional world.

You need to do is try to get a different perspective on the suitation that will help you find peace. It's not an easy task because you do care more. Don't ever lose that quality because its the best and very rare quality anyone can have, to have and be proud of. I would say, try your best to invest your time, love, etc to other people instead of your conditional friend who doesn't seem to appreciate it anyway even if you tried to give them many chances to change. Truth is, they won't for a while. It's not in their nature yet. It's their soul group, that group has alot to learn anyway. It's always going to be a struggle if you keep on trying to join that soul group when its not your soul group. Polar opposites and all. Hope I helped some?

I've had friends like that before. A couple of good Molotov cocktails lobbed through their window during a family reunion sorted them out.

Yes, this is perfectly normal and if you were a good friend in return you would respect such qualities in a friend!

Well last weekend, me and one of my friends made a plan to go to the movies to see Ironman 3. He told me that he would call me in the morning of that day to confirm with me. I waited all morning that day, and I heard nothing. I tried calling and texting and still nothing. I thought that he might be waiting for me at the theater anyway so I went, but he wasn't there. I made several attempts to call and text and still no answer. Then finally he texted me saying that he had family over so I just went in and saw the movie myself. Which brings me to another example: It seems when their families are around, they never answer my calls or texts. I mean if your family is over and you can't talk, then ok I understand. At least shoot me a quick text letting me know of your family's presence then I'll let you be. I don't see why you have to totally blow me off.