Ask Your Question today
There are some people who say being gay is wrong but making out with the same sex is just what friends do. As someone with poor social understanding this has always confused me. At what point does a behavior indicate one is more then friends?
I will argue the opposite viewpoint, and say that having sex with your friends is a great way to pass the time. More platonic friends should have sex with each other.
If you want a definite rule, it seems to me that a line is crossed when two (or more) people deliberate display their naked genitals in a private setting.
Yeah, this can happen in places like shower rooms or saunas, but those settings are only full of sexual potential in porn films.
Opinions vary, but I believe that someone masturbating themselves while looking at someone else masturbating is definitely sexual, but others will believe this is more about curiosity. Even if both people remain dressed, they are engaging in a sexual activity in close proximity to someone who is doing the same thing.
I don't see how anyone could deny that something sexual is happening when one person deliberately touches another person's genitals (or breasts, if a woman is involved), regardless of whether or not they're covered.
Kissing is also sexual, and the involvement of the tongue is the clear line, although gentle, prolonged, closed-mouth kisses with lots of lip-action can also be sexual.
So if kissing a person of same sex is sexual does that mean these people are closeted homosexuals. Who are pretending not to be because they feel bad about it.
Human sexuality isn't as clear-cut and fixed as physical characteristics such as eye-color, finger-length, or blood-type.
Researchers into human sexuality concluded a long time ago that sexuality is a spectrum. People who are physically and emotionally attracted only to people of the same sex are at one end, and people who are physically and emotionally attracted only to people of the opposite sex are at the other end. Between those two extremes, there are awful lot of people, some of whom wander along the spectrum through their lives, the shifting being influenced by lots of things.
And it's far too common for social pressures to result in people refusing to admit - even to themselves - who they actually find sexually attractive.
Like I said, kissing can be very sexual, and it's often the preamble for genital sex.
But if you're talking about teens of the same gender making-out, that could be exploration, rather than a definite indication that those people are firmly at the homosexual end of the spectrum. It's not uncommon for teens to have same-sex encounters and then say, "That was nice, but it's a lot nicer with someone of the opposite sex," and then go on to be happily heterosexual for the rest of their lives.
If it's something that happens regularly and the people become sexually aroused, then that would suggest that - at that particular moment, anyway - the people are homosexuals. The accepted definition of homosexuality is people who are sexually attracted to those of their gender, and those people are obviously sexually attracted to the person of the same gender with whom they're making-out, so I don't see how they could be anything other than homosexuals.
If the people also make-out with people of the opposite gender and enjoy that, then their sexuality is somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.
As for why they might insist they aren't homosexuals when their behavior is homosexual, that is something only they can answer (although they may not be willing to think too much about the question).
In short, given what you say in your OP, I can understand why you want a clear-cut answer and why you find what seems to be happening confusing. But the problem is that human sexuality is rarely clear-cut and it's very often confusing, even to those with excellent social understanding.
I can confirm that making out with the same or opposite sex is not something friends do.