Is it normal for family to side with the abuser?

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11 Comments

Is it normal for family to take sides with the child abuser? My sis in law threw her kids in a cold shower as punishment. She got in trouble for it because someone called CPS. I don't trust her and don't want her around my baby, especially alone. Now the entire family is mad because 1. they think I called CPS (which I did not) and 2. Because I don't want my baby alone with her. I think what she did is child abuse and I wonder what else she did that is not on the record....Is it normal for family to stick with the abuser

Voting Results
22% Normal
Based on 55 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    you'll do what you please to protect your baby and you answer to no one outside the father and you

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  • Pen-island
    12 years ago

    I have a solution:

    Shoot the bitch. Boom. You're welcome.

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  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    Don't leave your kid with her or the family, they all seem like nutters.

    Family's be blinded by idiotic things and thus become idiots themselves. Some families are like a cult, they stick together and will shun any who don't follow them.

    It seems they are doing this now. They are blinded by the truth, a truth which they refuse to believe. They are looking for someone to blame and they've chosen you, because you are different from them and sensible too. Be careful around them, they might try to bring harm to you.

    Also, why didn't CS take them away?

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    • Little_miss_sunshine
      12 years ago

      I couldnt get the entire story. But I saw the sis in law background report for only seconds. I don't know the average thickeness of ones background report but hers was pretty thick. APPRENTLY it looks to me like they let her off, it went on her record BUT didn't actually ding it against her as long as she agreed to counseling (thats the only thing I can think of)....the medication abuse is something hard to prove and I have no idea if she was ever even charged with that.I mean even if someone were to turn them in for that, if the mother in law is siding with the sis in law she would cover for her when CPS comes to ask if they sent the kids without medication. My bio family is so messed up I was NEVER expecting this from my husbands.....out of control mess!

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  • Deeeewd!!!
    12 years ago

    Fucking fuck

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  • Ono
    12 years ago

    It can be incredibly hard being a parent sometimes. Everyone has done something in the heat of the moment they regret. I understand you feel uncomfortable about leaving your child alone with her, but there's different ways to go about that. I hope if you ever make a mistake, your family supports you as well. Putting kids is a cold shower is unusual and mean, I'm just not sure it's worth labeling someone a child abuser over.

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    • Little_miss_sunshine
      12 years ago

      Its not just the cold showers, I have watched them abuse their kids with ADHD Meds. Sending kids off with family with no meds to make it look like she is a saint for taking in such a difficult child, Ive watched them give extra meds when company is over so their kids are "zoned" out. They have been married a short while and the oldest daughter (the evil step moms offspring) gets treated like a princes and is constantly tattling on the younger kids to get them in trouble, which all kids do but with her kid the tattling actually work works!!!!!. She manipulates people and turns them against each other. Right now she has her X's husbands parents secretly turned against him to do a surprise lawsuit to get full custody of her kid. She is passive aggressive and well I could go on and on with the things Ive seen her do. My gut tells me to STAY AWAY at all costs from her. I cant forgive her for the cold shower, because she got caught and hasn't changed, and continues to belittle and threaten her children. It really is up to her children to see if they can forgive her. I just feel I need to protect my baby, it may be over protective, but when my gut screams I listen.

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      • Avant-Garde
        12 years ago

        WTF O.0

        Did she adopt these children or are they hers?

        You should anonymously report her whether it be to the police or CPS.

        And try to move far away from these people!
        Listen to the gut, the gut don't lie!

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        • Little_miss_sunshine
          12 years ago

          She did not adopt them, they are split custody between my husbands brothers X-wife and himself. They only parent half time. They have it worked out so all the offspring go to the X'z every other week and they go on vacations and have their social life back. The sis in law has the entire family convinved I turned her in to CPS. Which I didnt. I confronted her about the cold showers and she denied it. Then apparently the kids we talking and someone at school heard and had to call. If I had seen her put the kids in a cold shower I am SURE I would have charges against me because I would have thrown her butt in the shower to see how see like being cold, miserably,broken down and violated. I told a family member we weren't going around very often because we didnt feel safe when this psycho would try to take my lil babe into rooms by herself and even tried to take her for a nap. It became a public confrontation and now I don't think we will have to worry about being around them much anymore. I get the feeling she is a sociopath, she is smart she plays her cards right and she sets the scenes for extreme drama. She knew I was upset about what she did so during a holiday she made passive comments about how foster care is a money making cow and how it would be so cool to stack em up in her basement...and jokingly said to strap them to the wall laughing the whole time.....It took everything in my power to not crawl up out of my chair and pop her in the face...sorry Im ending up venting off alot of frustrations here, but maybe the more explain the entire situation the better it is for outsiders to see the whole picture of this woman...or maybe to at least put me in my place and tell me I am over reacting and seeing things that just arent there...people make me so mad sometimes.

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          • Avant-Garde
            12 years ago

            People make me mad too and sometimes it is good to vent about things.

            The only smart person in this matter is you. Surely, the children must of told the ex about all of this? It's a right shame that they can't be served some cold hard justice and that you can't move away from them. I hate to imagine why she was trying to take your daughter with her... If she's always been like this why didn't someone try to get her treatment before it escalated to this scale?
            She needs Psychiatric help! But not just her, your family also for continually being in denial.

            I can't understand why CPS doesn't screen potential Foster Parents. That system is seriously flawed like everything else. Is there anyone that's one your side in this? You need to get someone whose not mental to act as a witness. Write down what's been going on and try to take action when you feel you have enough evidence against them. I'm surprised that the School hasn't been trying to seriously investigate things. When you hear about this sort of thing on the news, it's usually after some serious shit goes down. Try to get this noticed, before the only time someone takes notice is after some form of tragedy.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              12 years ago

              I think the school are the ones who already did the investigation. Unfortunatly nothing was founded....I think they required her to go to counseling and take parenting classes, which is a good start....but people that abuse kids don't change, they just get better at not getting caught and changing the form of abuse to more mental abuse thats harder to prove.

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