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it seems like every stranger I meet these days have some kind of shield to keep people out. and I don't mean bc they're depressed. people put shield upto people bc they think they are better than him/her, whether it be for their status or bc they are not cool enough. what douchebags.
People don't want to be emotionally invested in others unless there is something they can gain from the relationship.. ie love, comfort, money, mooching, moving conversation etc.
Its usually not superiority.
I don't let people see the ''real'' me until they gained my trust.
And you never know if someone is some kind of ''predator''
I put a "shield" up because that's my way of preserving myself. I can usually tell if a person is good company to keep, and if I see that they are not, then I block them out. It's not that I think I am better than them or that I don't want anything to do with them, it's just that you don't want to have certain people around to make your life more complicated than it already is.
Funny you bring that up cus my last name means shelid or to protect the ones you love or your self
I have a shield up because of some things that have happened to me in the past that I can't get over enough to just LET people in. I've been there, and I've gotten too hurt to let it happen again, so of course, I'm going to protect myself.
I wait until I allow myself to be vulnerable to someone, especially a significant other.
I'm also shy, so that can be another factor in this equation--Maybe you're just reading them wrong?
(:
It's a natural defense mechanism. Back in the 70s, it was thought that people would be better if they got rid of that through sensitivity training, but somebody did a follow up study on those who went through such programs. They studied college students because that was the easiest population to follow. Those who did sensitivity training were more likely to lose their way, drop out of college, turn to drugs and commit suicide.
Before you get over-trusting, remember that there are predators and users, and you need some defense against them. About 4% of the population can be classed as psychopathic. They aren't all mass murderers but they're all harmful. They can ruin another's life in many ways and won't lose any sleep over it because they don't have a conscience. In fact, they're unencumbered by the feelings that the rest of us have. That's why we value feelings and empathy and put up defenses to guard them.