Is it normal for dads to fondle sons?

There is a korean show where a twelve year old kid comes out to a tv show to talk about how his dad touches him too much. He talks about how before he wakes up, his dad would touch his penis, touch his penis while hes sleeping, touch his penis when touching tv, touch his ass through the clothes while doing dishes or something, basically anytime the father wants, he touches the son. Everyone on the TV show claims its a normal thing for a father to do, and no one seems to care and giggle. The kid even talks about how when he is taking a leak, the father would watch through the doors and smile at him, and apparently he did that multiple times. He would look through the hole of sons pants and smile at his penis. It seems normal for asian society for a father to check out his sons penis all the time, whenever they want. Here is the link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpWkHMzz8w4

Despite the son telling the father to please stop, the father laughs it off and says "Ill probably touch his dick until he turns 17" . I shit you not, literally what the father says on the show, and you can clearly tell half of the audiences are laughing, while the other half is concerned.

I'm a victim of this as well, I couldn't really get angry or cry about it at the time, because my father would tell me its normal, and he just wants to see how his son is growing up. Really though, is it really normal? It was impossible for me to tell him off because my father was very scary, and whenever I get serious, he would get angry at me and tell me how this is normal, and tries to laugh it off like the father in the video, even more so, he would convince me how this is all just "love". The kid in the video looks really angered, and repeatedly says he feels "humiliated" and the most disturbing part about the whole thing is that people seem to think its normal for a father to touch their sons dick all the time, at least it seems so in asian society.

I always wanted him to stop, and even though he might have done it because he thinks I'm cute, I really don't know anymore. He would always tell me how he always wanted me to be a daughter(they were expecting a daughter until they saw my genitals from birth, and he was very disappointed), and I used to look like a girl until puberty. I intrinsically know the way he looked at me as a kid, I was genuinely scared of the way he looked at my genitals, or when I was naked. I do not know how much escalation would've been there if I was born a women. This is what I want to ask, is it normal for a father to touch their sons dick, balls, and ass, forcing them to take their sons clothes off, peep at your genitals and smile at it while you are peeing, etc. I feel so confused, and deep inside, I feel it was so wrong to the point where I have this random emotional burst, which according to psychologists, is a symptom of sexual abuse. I would like you know your experience as a child.

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17% Normal
Based on 18 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Boojum

    Korean TV must be as messed-up as Japanese TV to subject a twelve year-old kid to that sort of public humiliation.

    I don't know what's socially acceptable in Korea. What happened to the boy would be called sexual assault in Britain, but it seems quite a few Koreans think parents have the right to sexually molest their kids. For all I know, it may be considered reasonable in other countries as well.

    It clearly is not acceptable in the USA, Britain and other English-speaking countries. Unless there is a valid medical reason, parents should not be messing around with or even looking at the genitals of their children once they're capable of dealing with their toilet and personal hygiene needs on their own.

    Your father sounds like a seriously fucked-up individual. Not only was he an adult who was fascinated the genitals of a child, he abused his position of power over you to indulge his own perverted interests. What he did was by no stretch of the imagination "normal".

    And I think you're probably right: if you'd been born a girl, things would probably have got a lot worse than they did - which was bad enough.

    This has clearly has affected you deeply, and I hope you find ways to deal with your anger and internal conflicts your father's actions have caused. This was something that was done to you. Nothing you could have said or done would have stopped it; most likely, you objecting would only have made it worse.

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  • chuy

    RoseIsabella

    "Hell no"

    Exactly what I was thinking, there's no way it wll be ok for anyone not even a parent to be touching a kid like that.

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  • You were sexually abused. I'm sorry you had to go through that. You didn't do anything wrong. I don't know how someone could do that to their own child, but abusive people will defend their behavior when called out and it's not uncommon to counter challenges to their power with threats. My uncle abused me in similar ways every chance he got and when he physically harmed me and I said I would tell, he threatened to kill me. I never felt safe until I went to therapy and it took a lot of work to learn how to handle my emotions, but I'm better than ever now. I recommend talking to a therapist if you can. It can be scary, but it can help a lot.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Hell no!

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