Is it normal for boyfriends to live with girlfriend's family

Main question, is it normal for people to be okay with living in somebody else's house as a guest with no effort to provide financial support?

My boyfriend recently moved into my parent's house where I still live. He neended a place to stay because his mother is a useless, responsibility shirking cow. He was allowed to stay, and our relationship started taking strain because it was/is too soon for us to be living together. There is constant arguing over anything and everything.

In the beginning the agreement was that he could stay until he got back onto his own feet. He is studying part time and was supposed to get a job. He has failed to get a job and is upset whenever the subject is brought up.
I've been supporting him financially, though I don't have a job, I only receive an allowance from my parent's (which under normal circumstances is perfect). I have been paying for his gas, cigarettes, food and other expenses. He doesn't want to get a job, and treats his stay at my house like a holiday. He claims that he would be unable to study, work and maintain a relationship. I found this extremely audacious, how dare you say no when you a're living under my parent's roof.

I do adore my boyfriend and my parents do as well. We want to help him, but he doesn't seem to want to help himself at all and my family is getting sick of it now.

Why would he refuse to look for work? Other than being lazy and too comfortable in my home. I obviously don't want to end this relationship but I want him out of my house.

Is it normal to do this? He has nowhere to go really, his mother would let him stay in her house but financially she is unable to ssupport her young adult son, so he would still be in the same situation.

I need advice, how do I tell him to get a job so that he can try and get out of my house without breaking up with him.

Voting Results
43% Normal
Based on 49 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • RoseIsabella

    I do believe its ultimatum time, honey! Tell him to get a job or its over. Besides, he already told you himself that his mother is a fucked up loser. He's now quickly proving that he himself is also a fucked up loser and a mooch.

    The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

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  • Couman

    It's normal in that he's got a sweet deal and job hunting can be a daunting task. But that doesn't mean you should put up with it.

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  • Gspyder

    You shouldn't be supporting him. And I bet if you stop he'll be looking a lot harder for that job he needs.

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  • SillyKitty55

    stop supporting his ass right now. Kick him to the curb and dump him.
    What a useless moron.
    You deserve to have a King treat you like his Queen!
    not you giving and giving and receiving nothing. it goes both ways but more the man makes most of the effort to keep you in his life.

    kick him out, throw his shit to the curb

    I did this to my x husband. He was useless. Could not keep a job, could not support his family(his wife and daughter). I took his shit, dumped it on the porch, said get the fuck out!
    Haven't talked to him in over 3 years now.
    He is still no good pos with no job
    and now he is going to be homeless, because both of his parents see that he is a mooch and expects free hand outs for life. Even my older brother bought him 3 suits(spent $600-700 on buying suits) to help him get a job, and he still has not paid my brother back the money to this day.

    your boyfriend is a little boy. kick him out. He has to learn to difficult way in life.
    If you don't do it he will never ever learn or change his ways.
    There are two things that can happen when you kick him out
    1) after a long period of time he may change 2) he may never change
    it is rare that someone even changes. My x husband is a good example of someone who never changes his ways but emails me occasionally to say how sorry he was for taking me for granted. He still doesn't apologize for physically hurting me and almost killing me.

    Just like I deserve a King, you also deserve a King to make you his Queen!

    Dump this Jester to the streets where he belongs!

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  • That-one-chick

    I suggest you make thing very clear that you may be generous but generosity can only get you so far in life. Tell him you are willing to help him but only if he tries to help himself first.

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  • Avant-Garde

    End the relationship and kick that little bitch out. If he is carrying on like this now, imagine how he will react if continue to be together. Imagine how he will act if you two get married, etc. He isn't worth it.

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  • Riddler

    No I don't think its normal. It is your parents responsibility to take care of you not your GF, BF job. Its also rude to put extra burden on your parents when they already met the responsibility of taking care of you.

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  • Shoefish

    How old are you both? An adult doing that to your parents is very shitty. It's really nice of them to help but from what you've said it sounds like he's very ungrateful and isn't willing to change the situation. I definitely wouldn't be buying him cigarettes. Give him an ultimatum and be willing to go through with it.

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    • Shoefish

      As in breaking up and kicking him out if he doesn't start looking for work. In case anyone thinks I'm still talking about the cigarettes ha.

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  • It is really hard for a lot of people to find jobs right now. Especially younger people with no experience. Only thing you guys can do is to keep sending out applications consistently. If he does not want to work then that will become more of a problem later down the line. I found it funny though how a lot of people consider money and success everything in life. Hopefully things work out. **blows nasty Kentucky dirby load***

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    • Shoefish

      Sure money and success isn't everything but you can't expect everyone else to provide for you.

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      • That's not exactly what I meant by that statement....but yeah that is true.

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  • semenandgarspunkel

    nice

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