Is it normal for a "straight" man to have a purple penis?

67% Normal

I recently got married to a man through an arranged marriage. He is a very nice and loving man. I had no worries because, I knew that he would make for a most wonderful husband.

On the night of our wedding, we had sex for the first time. It is here that I discovered a most concerning side to him. His penis was purple!

Does this mean that he has been a homosexual this whole time?! For shame! I don't want to be married to a homosexual. No one will want to socialise with me if this gets out. Great shame will be brought to us and our families. Why did he lie to me? I don't want our future children to have a homosexual for a father.

Voting Results

67% Normal

Based on 12 votes (8 yes)

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Comments ( 62 )

thegypsysailor

9 years ago

Jesus fucking christ. Are you really serious. Now if it was green or yellow or pink, then you would have something to worry about, but purple? Don't you know anything about men? A purple penis is a sign of royalty. Of course you knew this and were just messing with us, right? So you man has royal blood and everything will be just fine there, deary. But if you need any more opinions, just march your man down to the nearest police station and whip his purple penis out and they will surely help you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  His penis fell off. His testicles couldn't because he never had them. In the place of his penis, it looks like he stole the vulva of a woman! What does this mean?
  
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  - thegypsysailor
    
    9 years ago
    
    It means you aren't getting any more dick from that guy.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      It wasn't much of a penis to begin with. It barely seemed to work. My husband refused to move it. I didn't like the sight of it and the odor. The odor was stinking up the whole room! I had to remove it with a pair of tongs while wearing gloves, simply because I didn't want to run the risk of becoming a gay man. My skin could have become purple! The smell could have premaritally attached itself to me. You should have seen it. There was gunk allover it. I can't believe that he would endanger my life by sticking such a horrid thing into my vulva.
      
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      - thegypsysailor
        
        9 years ago
        
        I am SO glad I didn't have the misfortune to see it; may that pleasure remain yours alone, forever.
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Well, we do live in a large casa. We do live quite a luxurious lifestyle. We both have fabulous outfits in our wardrobes. Most of the time, he is more stylish than I.
  
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gummy_jr

9 years ago

How the fuck did this even get approved?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  By powers beyond my mortal body!
  
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  - gummy_jr
    
    9 years ago
    
    :|
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      It be true. You know this so, why do you deny it? Come visit the temple with us! Maybe, you can teach my man to be a real man with your dinosaur penis.
      
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Why did I get a zero? It be true! My methods. If you meet him and bring your dinosaur penis. I will be able to know once and for all the truth, as to whether or not my husband is a homosexual. You can show him how to be a real man. If he falls in love for you sore schooling, I will then know the truth.
      
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      - gummy_jr
        
        9 years ago
        
        Stop
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        He no longer have penis or testicles. His penis fell of and in its place is a vulva! Explain that!
        
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VirgilManly

9 years ago

Purple penis, that's the most common way to identify homosexuals. Oh you poor dear, did it squirt glitter?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  It fell off, with a hard *plunk* on the floor's rug. There is a vulva in its place.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  He did not ejaculate. Remember, when I said that his penis was like soggy bread? He got so embarrassed that he wanted the lights to be turned. What difference could that make? But he is the man, so I listened. I felt a wet sensation. Turns out it was water from a jug. He didn't even have sense enough to hide the jug. I found it right next to the bed in the morning!
  
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  - VirgilManly
    
    9 years ago
    
    Maybe you have a stanky vajayjay and he was trying to wash it.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      What is a "vajayjay"? Is it a foreign dish? I keep very good care of my vulva.
      
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      - VirgilManly
        
        9 years ago
        
        That's good. Those Swedish cars are always a safe choice.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        Volvo? I have a volvo in my vulva? Is this part of the appeal my husband seems to have for me?
        
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- VirgilManly
  
  9 years ago
  
  The other alternative is that he likes to walk around singing "I love you, you love me" to small children.
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    My man likes grown ups.
    
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

no it would be rainbow colored....you're gold!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  It fell off and made a hard sound as it the floor. It no longer looked real. It looked hard, like plastic.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    did you strangle it? you can tell us
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Strangle it? No. I didn't. Why would I? After the incident my husband has refused to talk to me and he left that purple object on the floor of our bedroom. I had to remove it with tongs and gloves because, it was beginning to stink our whole room.
      
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Our garden is full of rainbows and there plenty of colour among the flowers. Does this count?
  
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Cuntsiclestick

9 years ago

A purple penis doesn't mean he's gay! It means he's secretly an eggplant.

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- shuggy-chan
  
  9 years ago
  
  http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4Zv_DtKsoQk/THbBPxoTGbI/AAAAAAAAFTU/ooou50i2w6o/s1600/IMG_0977.JPG
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    Ohh! Amazing. It looks like it even has testicles. My husband doesn't even have those.
    
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  - Cuntsiclestick
    
    9 years ago
    
    Damn it! I have been laughing at that picture for well over 20 minutes. Thanks.
    
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    - shuggy-chan
      
      9 years ago
      
      hahaha apparently there are more if you search it. that was just the best close up of one xD
      
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- shuggy-chan
  
  9 years ago
  
  hahaha thanks, now i dont want to eat any eggplant for a while
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  It fell off. It looked hard, like plastic. Sounded hard too.
  
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  - Cuntsiclestick
    
    9 years ago
    
    Looks like your husband was a purple mannequin this entire time. Oh well. At least you got a free dildo.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Not anymore, do I. I had to remove it from the premises because it was so smelly! I might as well buy myself some toys!
      
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      - Cuntsiclestick
        
        9 years ago
        
        Don't forget to burn the mannequin.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        But my husband still appears to be of flesh and blood. A living organism.
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  No, I checked it. I really did. It looked exactly like a schooling.
  
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  - Cuntsiclestick
    
    9 years ago
    
    So his penis looked like a pack of swimming fish? Then I take it back. He's not an eggplant, he's actually a bunch of mutated fish in a human suit. How they got the suit, you ask? They skinned your husband alive long ago to accomplish their ultimate goal of enslaving the human race. You're the first in line, OP, so get your Clorox handy!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      It fell off. There a vulva in its place!!!!!
      
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Couman

9 years ago

Maybe you should stop douching with grape koolaid.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  "Koolaid"? What is this you speak of? I don't think that they sell it here. Is it the same as what you people call "lube"?
  
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Shroot

9 years ago

Normal

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Is it normal that it fell off? That he had no testicles, but tried to lie about what happened to them? Why was there a vulva in the place of his purple penis? His penis looked and sounded so hard as it hit our floor!
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  He be gay then?
  
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anti-hero

9 years ago

Only if the purple penis was made of rubber and he stuck it in his asshole.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  It fell off and it looked very hard. In its place is what looks like a vulva. My husband has not spoken to me since. He even lied about his missing testicles prior! I am greatly confused.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I shall look around our home to find such a device, then? Where could I find it?
  
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  - anti-hero
    
    9 years ago
    
    In his purse. Is you husband's name Hamid by any chance?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      No. A man named Hamid did flirt with me. He wanted my family to pay for him to go to America. They didn't because they were smart. I couldn't be with him even if I wanted him because it was already arranged for me to be with my now husband.
      
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sishu

9 years ago

I google searched "purple penis" and this bitch is right, there is indeed such a thing! So lucky that isn't me.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  But his penis was plastic!!!!! I am beginning to think that he never was a man in the first place! He and his family has scammed me. They bring much shame to me and my family if this ever gets out. He won't talk to me. He endangered my health by sticking such a stinky and unwashed thing into my body. He deceived me! He even pureed water from a pitcher onto my vulva and tried to pass this off as semen!
  
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  - sishu
    
    9 years ago
    
    sounds like the image of a bad comic book!
    
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GreyWulfen

9 years ago

Gays have rainbow colored penises, you fool. Everyone knows that.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Perhaps, you can talk to my husband? Ask him why his penis is purple? Did he stain it? Is it bruised? It can't have been bruised by my vulva. His penis was so limp and soft like soggy bread. Does this mean that he is cheating on me too?
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal for a "straight" man to have a purple penis?