Is it normal for a sister to ignore her brother's girlfriend?

I have been with my partner for two years. We are living together and want to spend the rest of our lives together. He is from Germany and his parents do not speak English, nor do I speak German (but I'm learning!). His sister speaks both English and German fluently.

The issue began when I went to Germany to meet his family. After spending a few weeks with his parents (who are really sweet) - I was really looking forward to meeting his sister. She is closer to us in age (in her early 30s) and I was looking forward to being able to speak English with one of his family members.

I had planned ahead and since our visit corresponded with both her birthday and Christmas, I brought small gifts for both as well as a thank for hosting us gift. She didn't say thank you for any of them. Nor did she reciprocate, then or since.

I'm not really sure how to discuss this - in most of these stories there is drama. But in my case, his sister just completely ignores me. I will ask a simple question such as "how are you?" and she will respond to my boyfriend. Sometimes she just stares at me and then after a minute of awkward silence just carries on talking about something else to my boyfriend. She acts as though I never said anything. It seems so weird.

I don't think I've done anything wrong, because we never even had the chance to know each other let alone dislike each other. My boyfriend has noticed as well and doesn't know what to do - he doesn't think talking to her about it will help at all and will only make it worse. He thinks that she might be worried/angry that if we stay together, that he might not move back to Germany. I understand that it's difficult (for us and both of our families), but we are considering moving there - and having the only family member that speaks English act as though I don't exist is a pretty big deterrent. Family is important to me, and I don't want to live in a place where I feel completely isolated and excluded.

It's been almost a year since I met his sister and nothing has changed. On cards and emails she will add in the token "tell her I say hi", but that's it.

Is it normal way for a sister to treat her brother's girlfriend like this?

Voting Results
36% Normal
Based on 58 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Mehereok

    I've had ex-girlfriends who didn't see eye to eye with my older sister, whom then refused, or made it very difficult, to talk to them. Guess one ex was told she was a bitch by my sister, and that sealed it right there. Not everybody gets along with everybody, but, family is family. They're not going anywhere.

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  • isPooping

    Omfg this shit is way to long

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  • Justmehere

    Depends, really. My older sister and I get along extremely well, and have messed around here and there, and she tends to evaluate any woman I bring around. Is usually nice and ok, and will tell me her thoughts, but, if she doesn't like them, I hear it immediately and she'll basically put herself in between and take all of my attention.

    Had one at a family gathering about 2 years ago. We were in the kitchen, the woman I was semi-dating said Hi to my older sister, in a light, too-familiar tone, and sister headed back outside to the porch. I followed, and she pulled me aside, telling me "If she stays here any longer, I'll be all over you and make her leave".

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  • Sara0303

    Germans are known to be reserved. She obviously doesn't like you.

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  • TheProph

    yes , some people are just weird and don't want to talk to people they don't really know. she'll warm up to you probably.

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  • kingofthedust

    Perhaps she feels awkward around an American, or doesn't get along well with women. Who knows?

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  • red_gal_85

    That must be really frustrating I wish I could offer some sage advice on the subject but this this is a problem with her not you and its up to her whether or not you guys develop a relationship it seems to me she wants nothing to do with it and you may not be able to change her mind...,but it sounds like your doing everything right and all I can say is keep trying eventually she may see your not going anywhere and come around

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  • Altezza99

    Is she close with her brother? Like best of friends?? She could see u as a threat?? Other than that maybe she has a problem with ur nationality? Maybe she's racist :)

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  • 8Serene8

    Not normal, but Germans have a different culture than Americans so I dunno if it's normal for them.

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  • almostunreadable

    Weird.

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