Is it normal for a single woman to want a baby?

68% Normal
22 Comments

I know I'm single but I'd like to have a baby in my 30s after I get my life settled (Getting a job and finding a house). The thing is, I'm asexual and I have no desire to ever get married (I didn't have a loving, good father to look up to growing up therefore pretrifying any hopes and trust I have in most, if not all, men- that and I'm probably deepdown a lesbian). I know it's not morally right for a single woman to have a baby alone but I really want to experience motherhood despite the fact. I want to experience pregnancy, childbirth, my baby's "Firsts", Birthdays, as well as everything else that goes along with having a child. To be fair, even if I just adopted a child the kid still wouldn't have a dad (I'm not proud of it, of course). But I also don't want any potential kids of mine to hate me/think I'm a selfish bitch for not getting wed in order to have them :(. In all honesty, it'd still be better to go at parenthood alone from Day One than to get married/have kids only for the whole thing to fall apart and the kids in question to suffer the consequences of divorce or having one good parent staying with the bad one therefore allowing the children to potentially be abused constantly.

Regarding to how many kids I want, I want 1 by birth (through IUI) and 1 through Foster Care adoption.

So in conclusion, I'll ask you fellow IINers this: Is it alright for a single woman to become a mother? Or are you a strong believer in the 2-Parent house model? Or do you just don't care as long as single people in question have the means to take care of said children and raise the children into responsible, caring, and contributing members of society? Please share your thoughts below.

Voting Results
68% Normal
Based on 37 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • Energy
    9 years ago

    I think it's completely normal.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    9 years ago

    Nothing wrong with single Motherhood, especially when you CAN bring a good father figure into their lives. The main complaint lies in the Mother's economic ability to raise the kid, her skills as a parent and, unfortunately, the circumstances under which said child is conceived (in a marriage vs. Say, at a party).

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  • shuggy-chan
    9 years ago

    you sound like my Friend, she felt the same way. she was raise by her single mother and wanted to do the same.

    personally their are many single mother for many reasons, but i would think it be easier with 2 parent so one could cover the other and be a team. but to each there own

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    Normal. If you want the child to have a strong make figure in it's life, you could try to fill in the role with someone that you may know, like a friend. I think that single parenting can be just as effective as a two parent household, if done correctly. I grew up in mainly a single parent home, some things were not done correctly. But I've realised that every family is different.

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  • Crusades
    9 years ago

    Why don't you try to find another asexual man, who could also be your sperm donor? So that both parties would agree to be equally involved in parenthood without them being involved sexually with each other. I think that would be a win win situation because i think that a child needs both a female and a male figure to provide for the best family climate and financial support. You grew up without a father yourself. Don't do that to another human being. A child shouldn't be denied the right to have a father. It would be a huge injustice to the child because it cannot choose by itself.

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  • ThisIsImpossible
    9 years ago

    Who has a dad these days anyway? You wouldn't be any different than most mothers. At least where I'm from

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      Probably why every new generation is getting dumber.

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      • ThisIsImpossible
        9 years ago

        Not having a father around makes you dumb? Lol okay man.

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        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago

          Not growing up with a father makes your mental development not as good as if you did have a father growing up with.

          That alongside the vast majority of people in prison were raised without fathers, I think it's quite telling.

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          • ThisIsImpossible
            9 years ago

            That doesn't make you dumb, the vast majority didn't have fathers because they came from poor areas where the men couldn't afford to raise their kids, not to mention the countless kids that were born just for financial benefits.

            70% of school related arrests or referrals to law enforcement are black or hispanic kids, 1 in 3 black men go to prison in some areas, most people in prison are black or hispanic even when they were a minority (more so than now).

            1 in 15 blacks and 1 in 106 whites are incarcerated, does being black make you dumb too?

            Not to mention all the marriages that end in divorce these days, most kids don't have their father around, at least not full time.

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            • [Old Memory]
              9 years ago

              Who said it makes them dumb? Just because the majority of criminals were raised without a father does not mean the majority of people raised without a father are criminals, it just gives them more potential due to it to be the case.

              You still haven't addressed the mental development part, though.

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        • Crusades
          9 years ago

          72% of people who have a criminal record come from fatherless homes.

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  • tough1
    9 years ago

    Women are made to have babies

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  • noid
    9 years ago

    Do your research about adopting and raising foster children first.

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  • megadriver
    9 years ago

    2 parent model.

    You just have to find the right person. You've had a rough past, I get that, but one man does not define all men. There are assholes, but most men want to have a family, a loving wife, children and go through family life and grow old together. I believe a child needs a mother and father to grow up and have a happy life.

    A missing parent is always a problem.

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