Is it normal for a mother to deny emotional and medical help?
I have been to multiple family doctors and each one suggests I get antidepressants and see a psychologist. We have switched to a new doctor each time. My mother doesn't want me to have antidepressants and has never made an appointment for me to see a psychologist even though I'v said I feel that I need it. She tells me that my depression is my fault and I need to fix it by being a more organized, tidy person. I could be more tidy and organized, but I highly doubt that my organizational skills are the cause of my depression. I remember seeing psychologists at age seven telling them I want to die, and never knowing why. My mother seems to be blind to the severity of my depression...even though an ER doctor who I saw for 20 minutes suggested I get antidepressants and see a psychologist because I had costochondritis caused by emotional trauma. Thats basically internal bruising caused by depression (in my case) and thats pretty blunt and out there...you'd think she'd get it, but no - the depression is my fault. I have developed an eating disorder, I weigh about 97 pounds, my mother keeps telling me I'm too thin, but doesn't seem to attribute it to my depression and sometimes doesnt seem to care - she told me not to have more dinner because my brother needs to eat more...understandable, except that I had a little more than a handful and my brother literally had half of the dish my mother prepared. I'v talked to her coming from every possible direction - "Mom, moving continents constantly has really left me insecure", "Mom I think I have a chemical imbalance", "I don't think I'v ever been happy". She even implies that I lie to the doctors - "God knows what you've been telling them". It makes me feel like dirt. I'v been thinking lately that maybe she doesnt see my depression because i'v never really been happy, and this is my normal...which I'v only recently discovered is not a normal way to live and I want out. I'm a senior in highschool - I had a panic attack at school, I couldnt breath and I was so scared I started crying in front of everyone, which made things worse because all eyes were fixed on me. I told my mother and she said "hmm" and dismissed it...I want to know if it is normal for a parent to be completely blind or in denial about my depression like my mother is?