Is it normal for a mom of children to be involved in reike & wicca?

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20 Comments

I love my wife. She is 34yo and we have three children 16, 5 and 3yo. Like everyone else we are struggling to make ends meet. She recently got a job which allows her to work saturdays and sundays while I am home with the kids.

Soon after getting the job, she began going to our local 'metaphysical center' (where they sell Crystals, Tarot Decks, Candles, Incense, Oils, Herbs and have classes on wicca and reike). At first I thought it was good that she was getting out and meeting new people, but now I am not so sure. She has spent money we don't have so that she can take reike classes and some other class that she will be an 'ordained' minister of wicca or something?! It seems to me that her family is starting to take second place to her aspirations for spiritual enlightenment. As I write this she is at a seance that will last until 6am. She hasn't stayed up that late in years and never since we have had children. She is not working at all this weekend because of tonight's seance and this Sunday she has her first clergy class which will drop her work every week from two days to one.

So it is definitely affecting us. It just seems to me that she is being extremely selfish. My paycheck alone will not pay our bills so I am really desperate to figure out what I need to do. I am all for learning new things and spiritual enlightenment, but I think it is creating a wedge in the family. Both of our families our christian (mine is catholic and hers is southern Baptist), but we don't practice it regularly. She absolutely does not want her family to discover what she is doing.

I have met many people through my lifetime that were involved in spiritualism in one form or another and all of them were either single or their kids were old and out of the house, so that is why I asked the initial question. If she wanted to practice in our home with her 'friends' should I allow it?

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40% Normal
Based on 65 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • AnonymousCanada
    12 years ago

    i do not believe in any kind of spirituality. i dont know if Wiccans believe in an afterlife but i personally like to believe that this is the only life you get but thats beside the point. if you are really struggling to make ends meet then do not allow this. if it was spending money on things that would actually benefit the family then yeah but if its just some spirituality stuff then i think she is wasting the families money, now is not the time to be worried about how many people you might offend by not allowing this. now is the time to be worried if you will have a roof over your head tomorrow or food for your family, dont let your wife waste money

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    I would suggest you have marriage counseling over the money that is being spent.

    However when it comes to spiritual development itself... it is not "selfish" to seek religion.

    If say, my boyfriend told me I was being "selfish" for say wanting to spend time in the church I'd be very offended.

    And most interestingly ... he would never do that. He is himself a wiccan minister and fully encourages me to go to church on sundays.

    I would suggest reviewing your own feelings... make sure your accusations are only on finances. If you're angry at her simply for finding faith that doesn't include you... the selfishness would not be coming from her.

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    • willie_tell
      12 years ago

      No I am definitely not angry at her for finding faith. Just that at this moment in time faith is a little lower on my list as we need to provide food and shelter for our kids. It started right after she finally got work to help us out and now we are worse-off than before she started working and being spiritual. Thanks for the reply.

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        12 years ago

        Why does it have to be "faith or food"? Why only one or the other?

        I mean yes, if you don't have enough money to eat don't spend on other things. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't make time for faith.

        But in times of hardship, faith is often what you really need.

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        • willie_tell
          12 years ago

          Part of her spiritual searching involves going to these classes in a healing center (translated - retail store with lots of spiritual merchandise) which she purchases regularly.

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          • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
            12 years ago

            Then have a discussion over finances.

            However faith itself isn't bad and never should be made out to be so.

            If she was going to church more often, or started going to bible study and not Wiccan practices would you have a problem with it?

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            • willie_tell
              12 years ago

              It isn't the type of Faith. It is just the timing of it all. The fact that she is participating in some sort of classes 4 times a week 12-16 hours a week takes away from her efforts to find a job. Something that she has avoided for the last 5 years. Add to that the spending of money we do not have to support her endeavors and that makes for a real crisis. Now add to that a visit from one of her single Reike male friends to our house while I was at work yesterday....

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    When it comes to money-spending and your children's spiritualism, it should be an equal decision between the two of you. Seems like she's being a little self-absorbed to be putting her need for religion before her family and her husband.

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  • Pseodonihm
    9 years ago

    I'd like to say that I understand where you are coming from OP but there is not enough information to make any kind of discussion. Is she even looking for a job? Will any job do? Is she taking these classes at night? or during the day? How bad is the situation? Are the children literal going hungry? Have you asked her your questions?

    As for your question, yes I would let them in. Even if your aren't supportive of what she is doing. Why? As Tsun Tzu says, Know your enemy and know yourself and you will always be victorious. If you can learn their ways you can use her own beliefs to bring her around to your point of view.

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  • Blackwargreymon
    12 years ago

    No problem with Wicca itself, seems to be less harmfull then some other religions. Euh, so yeah sure it should be fine to have them over. Most wiccans I know seem to be ok, same people as with other religions, haven't seen any fanatics though.

    Don't know why she would want to 'hide' it though.

    @ -Homeopathic-
    That's just terrible. One of the largest money scams ever. My mother tried to give them to me as a kid, but then I looked into why they were called 'homepathic' and refused to take them ever since. Now when someone offers me something homeopathic I just take a M&M and say: "Just as good, might even be more effective!".

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    • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
      12 years ago

      "Don't know why she would want to 'hide' it though."

      That's because many people are still judgmental when it comes to Wiccans... I've personally met people who think Wiccans = Satanists and feel it's OK to persecute and punish them.

      Sometimes the fears of reprisal for being different aren't unrealistic.

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  • flightlesskiwi
    12 years ago

    Yes it's normal she's involved in it but it's not normal she's putting everything else second to it. Her family and job should be more important.

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  • darkwarning
    12 years ago

    I personally find it annoying. Mu bf's ex is really into it plus homoeopathic medicines. They have a 6 year old boy she pumps this stuff into. New stuff every week. The kid can't even have a bm normally, which I believe is side effects from the crap. As well as personality issues. I think just like any other religion, if you get in to deep or extreme its bad news.

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  • Sanara
    2 years ago

    The religion itself would be okay, but not the part that she's spending more money than you can afford or neglecting the family in other ways. I still think some time for oneself to do what you want is reasonable and maybe must for some people, but there are limits

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  • j1337
    12 years ago

    You can still be Wiccan without taking any classes. Many Wiccans (including myself) pretty much make it what they want, and it will work, as long as you truly believe in it. Bottom line, tell her (politely of course) to stop taking classes (mainly because there is no Wiccan bible or anything that you strictly have to follow other than the Rede) and connect with her gods by herself. What I mean is pretty much light a candle, stare into the flame, meditate, etc, until you meet your gods.
    Good luck :)

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    • willie_tell
      12 years ago

      thanks for the info.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I'm glad that the issue wasn't what she was practicing but she does seem to be selfish. Especially if she's spending money that you can't afford to have spent on such things. As for staying up till 6am, well, so long as that was just a one-off or doesn't happen too often, I see no problem with that since it doesn't cost anything.

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    • willie_tell
      12 years ago

      She got home at 8am and said "I'm never doing that again". She enjoyed it but was really tired.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Yes allow it! Wiccans cause no harm
    I used to be Wiccan and still kinda am.

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