Is it normal for a man to not have respect for social privilege

My husband has spent the last 33 years getting ever more defiant toward the people in the society we lived in, Starting in order from me, his father, political figures and people in social leadership position. Then coworkers. Its come to a point any attempt at controlling him ends with people hurt.
The last his father when he wanted him not to go on this years vacation with me. His father wanted him to just go home and wait until everyone was willing to let him come. The next one was 2018 to Hawaii. But my husband did not agree to the compromise I attempted. I went to him and said I know he had not had a vacation since the 1970s, But I needed him to just back off just one more time and allow me to get the roadblocks out of the way since he was not used to dealing with people except by hammering them into the pavement just because he was not going to back off. I failed to get him to back off and he hammered his father into the hallway breaking his neck. Wiping out 33 years of traditions in one blow. all because we asked him to pay attention to needs other than his own.
I just wanted peace love and understanding but after 33 years I have not had peace. My husband said I killed any chance for love and there has not been any understanding for three decades for the needs of others, He came back from the navy and three years under water. Not willing to take a period of time just letting everything settle out about his return. The decision was made to not let him have anything he wanted like shifts, jobs, vacations, holidays, sex or weekends because the first time he had something that was the end of any cooperation. I don't know if any one else has had to go to the mat with other people to just put their husband in his place. But the last two years he has been using his fists for any interference and sex was forced by him two years ago.
I would have never thought in 1985 that resentment would come to this point.