Is it normal for a guy to finger a sleeping girl without consent

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55 Comments

I was dating a guy for three weeks and while getting to know each other, I spent the weekend at his place. During the three weeks that we dated, we never had sex because I wanted to wait. During the last week of the relationship, he spent the night at my place and I woke up in the middle of the night to find him penetration my vagina with his fingers and sucking in my boobs. He was basically fingering me like he was digging for gold and was suckling my breasts in the roughest way possible. I am a very deep sleeper but I woke up and caught him in the act. I have never met a guy who thought it was okay to penetrate a woman in any way without asking for permission. I dumped him immediately because going anywhere in a relationship with him would be like carrying around a heavy bag without knowing what the content is. I am very creeped out and I feel extremely violated. I only knew him for three weeks and it shouldn't matter how long I know him for. Wrong is wrong . Ladies be careful who you get into bed with if you don't want to be penetrated without your consent.

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20% Normal
Based on 89 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 55 )
  • Your765
    9 years ago | pl

    Thanks for the feedback everyone. I really appreciate it. This guy did market himself as a guy who is very nice and respectful guy. Of all my years of dating, he was the first guy to cross that line so he had to go. Since I only dated him for three weeks, I am not sure what his sexual preferences are but I did tell him to ask a girl for permission the next time he decides to engage in such activities.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago | pl

    It's hella creepy, girl! You were wise to dump his sorry ass. Sounds like he was treating your slumbering body as a thing, an object. Maybe he practices on a blow up doll, who knows?

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  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    Yeah only normal if u said its ok to wake u up that way...I have woken up my bf with a blowjob but only after he said It is something he would like.

    That guy is creepy! Its giid u got rid of him...id feel violated too.

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  • flowerchild94
    9 years ago

    Good thing you dumped him!! it would only be ok if it was talked about when you was awake and was ok with it but that's obviously not the case and he should of respected you more than that.

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  • joolia03
    9 years ago

    Wow this was really interesting and really relieving how you did the right thing. Other people would over-analyze the situation like "maybe its okay, maybe he didn't mean harm, etc." That was just plain creepy. I'm sorry that he came off as a good guy and you had to go through that and pretty much throw him away. But good thing it was only three weeks so you didn't bond with him that much where it would make the decision harder.

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    • Your765
      9 years ago

      @joolia03 I really believe that what he did to me while I was sleeping has significant meaning. The more I think about it the more creeped out I get. I really felt like three weeks was just too early for doing that activity to a sleeping girl without prior consent. I lucked out because some men can hide that type of behavior for a long time.

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    He raped you. You should file a police report. Reading your post disturbs me.

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    • canihelpit
      9 years ago

      Dont scare her like that. I dont feel it was rape it wasn't like he had his penis in you and was hurting you. It was more of molesting. Rape is a strong word

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  • Darkoil
    9 years ago

    Rapist.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    It's only normal if you consented to it before.

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    • Your765
      9 years ago

      He never told me that he wanted to finger me in my sleep before he did it. I woke up to a creepy surprise.

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  • redfastlad
    9 years ago

    Sleeping with a guy what did you expect?? if my cock had rubbed up against your arse I would have been in you like a rat up a drain pipe get real woman

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    • canihelpit
      9 years ago

      So your saying you have no self control over your penis. That's the sadest thing behave ever heard. Dont blame your penis for you tendency to molest people. Your a latent rapist.

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  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    Definitely not! Molesting sleeping woman might even be illegal.
    The very first boy who asked me to be his "girlfriend" fingered me in a public pool when I was 12. Just like that, no warning and no privacy. I felt really dirty and I didn't tell anybody so I just stopped going to the pool that summer. I was 12 I didn't even know what "fingering" was I just knew I felt used.
    Good luck next time I hope you find a gentleman.

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    • Your765
      9 years ago

      I am very sorry that had to go through that especially at such a young age.

      @Borntobeme: My mom, cousins and aunties know. They think the act was sooo strange and they are creeped out. As I said, sensible and smart men will ask for consent. The perverted men and sexual predators will do stuff to females while they are asleep, without any prior consent.

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  • Alex_Gee
    9 years ago

    What a prick! Shame you didn't stab him!

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  • hiddenhands
    9 years ago

    Creepy as fuck its good you dumped that incubus

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  • ILIKEMEXICANGIRLS
    6 years ago

    you would
    make him wait more then three weeks

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  • Dream_Killer
    9 years ago

    If you only knew him for three weeks? So according to what I read, I'm assuming you just met him? If that is the case why were you even sleeping over at his house? Maybe it's just me, but knowing someone for only three weeks doesn't seem like long enough to start sleeping over especially in the same bed as them.

    I'd be a little freaked as well if I woke up with some dudes finger in my vajayjay too.

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    • Your765
      9 years ago

      I definitely didn't just meet him. I interacted with him for more than a year. We went on dates for three weeks. The whole story about how we started to hang out is a very messed up one but we all live and learn.

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  • canihelpit
    9 years ago

    My dad did this to my mom. She woke up screaming rape. Lol

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  • Parky_Parker
    9 years ago

    What's more disturbing than this story, is the number of users that think it's normal to do this to another person without consent.

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  • Morgan_Freeman
    9 years ago

    why the fuck were you in bed with him if you werent married?

    slut.

    Narrated by Morgan Freeman.

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    Yeah. That's is really messed up. I do that to my girl sometimes, but only because I know she is okay with it. You don't do that kind of shit unless you are positive you will be well received. It's paramount to rape. I actually think it IS rape. I'm trying to play devils advocate a bit, but I just can't, I can't think of any situation that this might be okay. IDc how horny or frustrated you are, you don't assault your GF in her sleep. Especially if she is a virgin.

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  • 213
    9 years ago

    Ok lets picture for a sec ,lets say that night the dude was caught masterbating and she woke up find him pleasuring himself how she was going to react ,..in my opinion i still think the dude still he was going to be dumped ...please let us be fair folks

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    • Your765
      9 years ago

      I honestly would never recommend that a guy do a thing like that without permission from the girl. We already live in a sick world and all females don't like being penetrated while sleeping, especially without consent.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    he might have thought you wanted him to make the first move, you are in bed together after all

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    • shuggy-chan
      9 years ago

      So if i was sleeping next to you, its cool if i penetrate you as u sleep!?!? I mean, spooning, sure, but I would think I need someone's consent before I Jam fingers into them

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      • [Old Memory]
        9 years ago

        i agree of course but something in the story made me feel like all was not as it seems

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        • Your765
          9 years ago

          He was a little pushy about coming over that night and I felt bad and told him he could sleep over. Also when I woke up in the middle of the night, he was digging his fingers in my vajj like he was digging for silver. Also the way he was sucking wasn't any normal sucking. He was pulling the boobs down and pushing them up like a hungry calf and he was squeezing the life out of them. CREEPY. I am not even into the idea of having someone mess with me while I am asleep. I don't like the idea.

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          • [Old Memory]
            9 years ago

            oh ok

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        • shuggy-chan
          9 years ago

          Sooooooo...ooo you agree to sleep next to me >8D

          lolol

          but possibly, but that is still too far, spooning or even mild groping is oky, but i dont want someone to jam stuff in me as a sleep, so i wouldnt do that to anyone else

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          • [Old Memory]
            9 years ago

            yes i hear japanese cuisine is very tasty

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            • shuggy-chan
              9 years ago

              its oky, i eat vegetarian mostly

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  • cupcake_wants
    9 years ago

    that sucks! Next time, what I would do, is make sure you wear something that would be difficult to undo or get off you, and/or tell him aunt flo is in town (even if that's not true).

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  • Crapper
    9 years ago

    Maybe u shouldn't be sleeping with him if u don't want to be touched?

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  • slings_and_arrows
    9 years ago

    I think you need to look at the signs that were probably there that this person was weird, but maybe they hid it well. Don't punish all other men because of one creepy guy. If you're getting close and intimate with someone why would you avoid sleeping in the same bed? Maybe you should take things slower, before you get physically intimate you should trust them as a person.

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  • Gallieon
    9 years ago

    It's kinda sad really... I mean I have a no sex agreement with my girl (on my terms (don't ask)), and If I woke up, threw a hissy fit and dumped her cause she was giving me a hand job in my sleep, I'm pretty sure amost all our mutual friends would agree that I have a serious problem I need to deal with.

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  • LizardSkin
    9 years ago

    And he couldn't have the decency to slip you a roofie before he sexually assaulted you? Some people..

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  • borntobeme
    9 years ago

    Since a lot of the responders on this post seem to think this guy was a jerk, I ask you this -- If you were to tell this story to your mother, or any older adult, what do you think they would say? If you and they respoders are so ignorant of human nature, I would have to think you are emotionally living in la la land.
    Since I am BI, if I were in bed with you, woman or man, I would want to fuck you for sure. Another thing, if you are trying to 'get to know him', you did!

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    • Your765
      9 years ago

      This post is about asking for consent before doing sexual acts to a person. A sleeping person can't consent to anything.

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  • borntobeme
    9 years ago

    Total Bull****! You are really stupid to be in bed with any guy, without some sort of interaction. I would have fucked you on the first night! What you did by getting in that bed with a healthy viral man was YOUR choice. Are all of the women who think he was wrong really that stupid? If you really want to 'save yourself', then do your sleeping at home. Can't beleive some of these posts.

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    • reminiscent
      9 years ago

      Pft...im sorry so are u saying u cant just fall asleep with a girl without rape?
      Cuz if not your total bull****...

      Before me and my bf ever had sex we did take a few naps together in his room alone ...and not once did I get raped by him. as no real man would rape a woman In her sleep.

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      • Your765
        9 years ago

        If I meet a new guy who I am getting to know and he wants to hangout, going forward, I will have to avoid sleeping in the same bed as him in order to avoid running into the same problem again. There are many guys out there who would never finger a sleeping girl without prior consent.

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        • reminiscent
          9 years ago

          I wish u luck with your new guy.♡

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          • Your765
            9 years ago

            Thank you very much reminiscent. ♡

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    • Your765
      9 years ago

      We interacted for more than a year before I went on a date with him. When I say I didn't know him like that, I meant in the dating sense. I was just getting to know him personally. Because you see a person and talk to them doesn't mean that you necessarily know them. Like I said, no sensible and just man would have done what he did without prior consent.

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  • ants91shearer
    9 years ago

    Was he samoan?

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    • Your765
      9 years ago

      He wasn't Samoan.

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  • TimmyTheTurtle
    9 years ago

    penetrated already has 3 letters from the word penis.. P-E-N.. you shoulda seen this "cumn" :| its totally your fault.

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  • 213
    9 years ago

    Am with you his wrong of course but if it was me i would not allow to sleep with you so many nights without nothing happens to prevent such things..

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  • 213
    9 years ago

    Damn but you where rude to quick to dump him. Why atleast you ddin't gave him a warning ???i know he's wrong but think of you one day dating a guy and you make a mistake just for once and he ended up dumping you how are you going to feel?? Just asking "just for one mistake and its over " ???come on people make mistakes

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    • Your765
      9 years ago

      What he did was a deal breaker. No sensible and respectful man would finger a girl in her sleep for the first time without asking for permission while she was awake. I only knew him for a few weeks so what he did is nothing short of creepy.

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    • birge55
      9 years ago

      Im a man and think that no dude should need a warning about that its just not f"cking normal. She was right to dump his sick ass.

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      • Your765
        9 years ago

        When he did that, the first thing that came to mind was that his issue was probably bigger than fingering sleeping women and I had no interest in finding out anything more. There are some sick people out there.

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