Is it normal for a guy to be nonchalant all the time?

To make a long story short, I lost my virginity last year before my 24th bday to my ex boyfriend. We haven't dated in years but r still really good friends, so I was ready and asked if he would do it for me. B4 I asked him though I had developed feelings and I let that b known and he was cool with that. But there was no intimacy and I say he's just not into me. That was a little over a year ago and we haven't had sex since then, but he flirts, calls, texts all these nice things, but when in his presence nothing happens. He is a very respectable person who doesnt put an importance on just physical actions, and I know he finds me attractive. I'm not very direct but I know I don't send mixed signals, and I know he trusts me bc I'm conservative and have always been super nice...maybe overly nice now tht I think of it, but idk what else to do or I'd I'm reading thing wrongly. I thought that if guys want something, they go after it, so I can accept he's not into me, but he gives me mixed signals. Sn: I do need to try and relax a bit more bc once I realized my feelings I became a little tense around him, so from what I typed, is he just not into me? Dont judge me, but what r more direct flirting tips/signs? Thanks!!!

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 29 votes (23 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 11 )
  • JBN

    One of two things, either he isn't in to you; or he is and he is young and wants to text a bunch of stuff, but then doesn't know how to interact with people live.

    I'm wondering if this young generation is going to be messed up because of technology and not learning social skills.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • modestbelle

    It turned out that he was gay! *way to go me!!!!!" I can laugh at it now but I'm over it. A true friend wouldn't have hidden that info, so was eye- opening....but I do wish I wouldn't have wasted my first time w/him :/ oh well:) thanks anyways!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • lorealmadonna8

    Ok to answer your question it's real simple he wants sex.

    He wants to bang but doesn't want you to be attached.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • hellostrangers

    Typical pig that is using you. Do you like the abuse?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • modestbelle

    Cannabis14 thanks! We were broken up bc we were getting ready to graduate and were in 2 different states. I really do agree with u that nothing is gonna happen as badly as I want it to, I just don't see it right now bc he is really just non-chalant and I KNOW I'm a catch but he just happens to be the one I want! I hope it's not bc I LOVE a challenge lol, but I think our friend status will remain until HE makes a move (which i know will more than likely not happen) but I'm done putting in all the work, but like I said I agree wholeheartedly with u

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • cannibus14

    he probably is interested again but why did you break up the first time and stay broken up for years? people don't change enough to suddenly be compatible with you. i think people can change in good and bad ways but compatibility with someone else is so personal and raw and it's not something you can change without completely changing everything about you. so its not going to work. not to be mean but no one's really saying that and that's really what i think is going to happen.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • modestbelle

    Thanks Correy! I'm gonna try that and put it into practice...I know I'm a "sad"'individual lol. I'm trying!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • CorryA90

    its hard to tell with girls sometimes, either we go to slow or too fast. maybe he just wants to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you want him but hes gonna have to put a little work into it, be more flirty, hand on lap when talking :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • modestbelle

    Thank you:) I'm gonna try to talk to next weekend. There is a 5 hr drive distance-wise between us

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Slaybeck

    Sometimes guys (and girls) like to be flirty with someone they know likes them, even if they don't feel the same way. The only way you can know for sure how he really feels about you is to suck it up and just ask him. Tell him the way he acts is confusing to you and you want to know where he stands. If he gives you the runaround and won't state his intentions then I'd say he's not into you. In that case, go find someone who deserves you!

    On the other hand, if you're not being flirty back to him have you considered that maybe he thinks you're not into him anymore and that's why he hasn't made a move? You can find great tips on how to flirt all over the internet. Find something you'd be comfortable with and try it out!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • 8gent

    Because he is gay

    Comment Hidden ( show )