Is it normal for a girl to feel this way?

34% Normal
8 Comments

To let you know, this is not me i am talking about, just a friend. She has recently texted me this after i asked her to elaborate on what was happening;

I don’t even remember WHY I was yelled at or what was said. I truly don’t. All I remember is a LOT of swearing, the way she would back me into a corner and come right up close, shouting, occasionally pulling my hair, with this mad rage in her eyes, and when I would start crying, she would ask me “Why are you crying! Stop being such a cry baby! You’re only trying to get people to feel sorry for you, but it won’t work!” I remember one of the first times I actually fought back she laughed and brought my younger brother over to watch and just kept laughing and laughing and laughing, making me a huge crying mess and saying that I looked really funny and, “Come on! It’s funny!” And I just stood there, probably speaking gibberish while they were laughing and laughing and laughing.

This really hurts me to write, because when i think about her now, and how she is acting, she is fine, completely and utterly fine. There are zero problems. I just don't know. She only does this when we are alone (without my dad, but when he is here, she makes sure to tell him that i was disrespectful and that i didn't do ALL of the SMALL amount of chores i have (they are very time and attention consuming, each one of them, so it is hard to fit it all in a day)), which doesn't happen very often now, so that makes me feel even worse about saying this. What should i do? Is it normal for me to feel this confused or is this just a normal family life and i should just get used to it and accept it?

Oh, and just so someone knows, my mom yelled at me yesterday, and i DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING about it really. I am pretty sure she didn't call me names, she just kept saying how i should respect her and how come i 'hate' her (i DON'T, and i have made that clear i think)and saying “What have you been doing all day long…you lazy a**, help me find (something, i forgot what),” but that was it, nothing intense really, but when i went to my room, i was so close to cutting myself that i am surprised looking back. Why are my reactions so intense? Please help, sorry for texting you so much :'(

Voting Results
34% Normal
Based on 50 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • imadragon
    9 years ago

    Holy shit, your reactions are normal, it's not okay to do that to someone. You need to get away from her. Her behaviour is very abusive, she is the problem here, not you. There are many things that can cause a person to act that way, and your are not one of them. You should talk to someone you can trust about this, a counselor would be great, because this is bullying.

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    • hieveryone123
      9 years ago

      HOW is it abusive, I don't understand that. She has never told me she hates me or that i am worthless or anything. What constitutes abuse? Her laughing at me only happened once or twice, and i don't remember why she yelled at me, it could have been for a good reason...

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      • imadragon
        9 years ago

        Even if she had a reason to be angry at you it is not okay to yell and laugh at someone for crying. Please try to not blame yourself for what she did. Do you think that it could have been a panic attack maybe?

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        • hieveryone123
          9 years ago

          I have had one before (a panic attack), but it was different. That time i felt as though i was being strangled and i nearly went crazy. No, i was just done at the moment. I think why i was going to cut was because it stops me from crying. I always dig my nails into my hand and try to focus on drawing blood bc then i don't have to think about what was being said if i had physical pain to focus on. How often does this have to happen to constitute abuse? And what about playing favorites? Like always showing me my brother's report cards, going on and on about it, and saying and hinting that he is gifted at like EVERYTHING (socially, athleticly, musically, and school-wise), even though 7 of my teachers have mentioned to my parents that I might be gifted and should be tested (I think this was only because i am a perfectionist, but this was how my mom got the idea my brother was), but she never ever thought twice about it when concerning me. She often cries in front of my dad asking me why i hate her, and saying i am passive aggressive and cruel and stuff, which i may be, i don't know. The crying thing and the favoritism thing happens more than the yelling, but when she does (however sparsely)it gets scary and i hate it. Please help.

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          • imadragon
            9 years ago

            If you are crying and you want to harm yourself to stop it, don't. Just try to cry it out, it will feel better afterwards, especially if it is before sleep.
            I don't know how often it has to happen to be abuse, I think one time should be enough for it to be a serious thing regardless.
            I have no idea why parents act that way, but I know it is not okay (and I know that it is common for narcissistic parents to play favourites, same with the crying in front of your father, making herself the victim. I don't know her so I don't know if that is the case though.)
            I really think a counselor would help a lot with your situation, there are so many things going on here that you shouldn't have to deal with on your own.

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            • hieveryone123
              9 years ago

              I cannot talk to a school counselor; they are required by law to report it. I do NOT want that to happen (I wish this law didn't exist), sometimes, actually a lot of the time, she is normal, never huggy, but normal. I don't know what to do, im going out of my mind, i feel horrible about typing this...

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  • la_uva_mojada
    9 years ago

    bipolarity?

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