Is it normal for a gf to act like this

I even don't know how to explain my gf's ways but it's driving me mad so I'll try .
I met her through my sister - they're best friends,I also share with another chick, just helps with the mortgage .
My gf and I have only just got things going as there was the sister thing plus she's 2hrs away and - she's kinda prickly by nature to so, it's taken time .
She's sort of got a feminist streak, had a very rough life and so she's very guarded- special but weird.
Her feminist side's always butting in , saying oh what about - my sister, or the housemate or she'll be dying to come over,stay ,all exited ,she prepares for it a lot, but then we're finally together, cuddle up or loves me spooning her, feeling around , talking.As I said it's been a very slow start but often right in the middle,finally , or even the beginning sometimes, she'll bring up the sister , or the housemate,with a bitchy tone, she knows it's only sharing.
Or she'll be on the phone one minute saying how much she's missing me,next asking for my sister , or the housemate including her, or how is she but with a tone as if we're married, she'll sound jealous or as if I'm screwing around with the housemate,the sister it's her look after the girls thing, I just can't get it. Usually right after we finally get together again or on the phone. Sometimes it'll be just asking more about them both but in different ways but others it'll be almost a jab in some way , a sort of them me thing. Never sure to be honest but it often just leaves me cold or kills the night and backing off or I've just gone to bed alone some nights . Like her stuff is so hard to explain but it's often like jabs or cracks in descise.
We might've waited 3 wks to see each other, yet finally in each others arms until it's like self sabotage.
Or one afternoon we were out side just messing around , we were really having a good time tho but the next she tells me she hates all men . I said what about me I'm male but you love hangin out with me, "yep all men" , they destroy families, wreck the world , abuse women- I'm like wtf !
I dunno, once again it ruined the day that's for sure and I'm scratching my head.
is it normal , lately I'm thinking whatever the hell her issues are , this just keeps happening ,as crazy as I am about her I just feel like dumping it.
Like another w/e it's been 3 wks , finally together, going to the beach , she couldn't wait but also insisted the sister came, then she was in a shit all the way there and there, no clue what I did if anything,somem to do with the sister tho , whom she insisted came. No fights on the way, she was just in a huff, totally tuined the day , after waiting 3 wks.
I mean will I be dealing with her head forever !

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21% Normal
Based on 43 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • taylor-mae14

    i say end it. if relashionship is that stressful its not worth it. ive been unhappy a lot and tried to make it work but in the end it was inevitable, things where gonna end.

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  • michaeld

    Dump her now!!!!!!!!!

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  • sheat

    why having someone like that i think shes just saying that because your a nice guy and shes playing games... shes jealous!!! by the time she will makes scenes and shes going to be dramatic ... so let her go before the monster comes out

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  • Seustewart

    I think she's probably a lesbo and is pissed that ur in the way of her gettin at ur sister and roommate. You'll see.

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  • blaster

    Straight A's pressure, tough mamma .

    Yeah dunno if it's always jealousy , her feminist side's always trying to include them on the other hand , look after her fellow female stuff and my sister's also her best friend too so tricky again.
    But yeah with showing stuff on the other hand, don't think it's intentional that's for sure just gets the better of her, probably kicks herself after if I know her.

    Anyway I'm still way open and hopeful . Thanks for your help

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    • plum6

      this really is one of the strangest relationship issues I have seen on IIN and I guess that says a lot. Any improvement?

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      • blaster

        Thanks for asking plum. It is strange , she's a crazy mix but describing it's another story again, I really didn't know how or where to begin.
        Yep there has been improvement tho , JB's advice has made a massive difference.I've reached out to her more, reassured her more and she's already so much more outgoing with me, for her that's huge. So I'm really proud of her and think trust issues with us , me , must have been a major part of things.
        No she's no lesso , she'd tell me that one no prob if she was and couldv'e moved on it long before me.

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  • blaster

    Thanks jb and thanks for unjumbling my mess of a question. Glad your still around , thought we'd lost ya.

    You know things you mention do eat at me when she does this stuff, I've thought a lot about that angle. I won't go into it but she has had a very tough life and she is basically all she's had since she was 7 or 8 - 21 now. Trust is huge to her and she'll usually wall off feelings/talk, that might leave her open, or smothers it with a tough front or , she attacks. But, when she's not jumping the gun she is so gorgeous,fun.

    Gonna go with your advice and give her some time too. And yeah I couldn't spend my life untangling her head but hey if she could just level out a bit,trust.

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    • joybird

      It's surprising then, that she has shown her weakness is jealousy. A bad bf could really use that against her. You should tell her that you know this is her weakness but she should lighten up as you've no interest in anyone. The worst thing you can do is get frustrated and yell, "Give it a rest!" although this may be what you want to say. In reality, she can't help let it out coz she's looking for reassurance.

      I'm sure she will calm down when you make it plain that you don't even want other females around.

      I am always absent for a while, when it is exam time for my teenage son. I get the unenviable task of printing out past papers and collating the relevant information for him :o( I supervise him while he studies otherwise he would be playing computer games or texting his pals. However, they're nearly over - and he'd better get straight A's or I will scream!!

      Good luck.

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  • joybird

    She's constantly testing you.

    She suggests bringing the housemate so that you will say no and that you just want to be with her.

    Why don't you tell her that your time with her is so precious that you don't want to waste time talking about other women. She'll love that.

    She's just insecure and jealous of them.
    If she's older than 25yo then I'd say bin her coz she won't change but if she's only young, then she needs to learn to trust you and stop venting her insecurities.

    When she starts bitching just kiss her and shut her up.

    If this continues for more than a year - dump her, life's too short to deal with this crap for too long.

    Good luck.

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  • bigtoy

    Love is blind. Get out of this and find someone caring and normal. It won't pass, women like this don't get any better.

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  • blaster

    Yeah well sorry about that , it's so hard to explain I know it came across all over the place.
    But on the man hate, that night she said so why did you walk off this afternoon anyway. I was wtf ! You just finished telling me you hate all males- well not you of course - but you didn't add that when I asked -I wasn't thinking. But I dunno about that one, more like just couldn't resist a man hate opportunity I say.

    Still I don't get it. She's so hot so horny , she does love the opposite sex, us, goes to all sorts of no end trouble to get together , dresses really hot for me in stuff she knows I love , we have a ball when she's not just throwing something out there. Hoping maybe it's just the fear of getting hurt wall , maybe it passes .

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  • PRETTYPINKPONY

    tl;dr. and the parts i did try to read just confused the fuck out of me.

    i say, give her a reason to hate men. you know, abuse, rape, etc.

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  • blaster

    Thanks for that , at least I got 1. What is it about this place , ask what's on your desktop and get 35 replies , ask something real and get one.
    But yeah I'm thinking same. I was with this other girl too for 2 yrs, she was so touchy, so prickly, it was always tense, impossible after awhile no matter what we were doing, there was always something. Got the hell out of it in the end.
    Must admit my gf now is really similar , she'll throw anything out there, any time, she's everywhere. I dunno , I was so into her but she's really making me turn lately, couldn't go through that again.

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