Is it normal for a friend to be apathetic about getting together?

42% Normal
10 Comments

I haven't had a chance to hang out with my friend in quite a while, (several months, in fact). I have asked to get together with her twice before, and both times she has said she needed to study. Now, she does take school very seriously so this not without the realm of possibility. Today, I ran into her in the halls and suggested we get together after exams are finished in two weeks, and after thinking for a second, she said she probably has some more tests after exams. I'm starting to get the feeling that she is intentionally trying to avoid being with me, but at the same time, when I do see or talk to her, she never seems openly dismissive. When I asked for her phone number several weeks ago, she was glad to provide it and didn't seem at all pressured. Is it normal for her to refuse to see me 3 times in a row even though we haven't had a chance to see each other in so long?

Voting Results
42% Normal
Based on 45 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • weirdppl
    12 years ago

    I've had that before, I kept asking my friend to meet up with me, but she always had something on. She didn't seem to be avoiding me and apologised a few times for being busy, but I still got pissed off about it.

    Now I've learnt to let it go and accept that however much I want to hang out, she has other friends and her own life, and I just have to settle for seeing her less often.

    I've also given up asking her out because she's always busy, which is actually stupid because I still hope to hang out sometime...... but that's my problem :P

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  • NoraBaker
    12 years ago

    I can't think of anything else right now. ;)

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    • Charmo
      12 years ago

      Well, she does have a boyfriend... I've been thinking lately that maybe she thinks that I like her or something and, as such, doesn't want to be alone with me. If that's true, that's incredibly disappointing, as it would not be the first time that this has happened...

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  • NoraBaker
    12 years ago

    She might have reasons to refuse that she does not wish to disclose. e.g. Does hanging out with you involve drinking? Drugs? Spending too much? etc.

    Just a thought...

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    • Charmo
      12 years ago

      Considering I'm about as straight-edge as humanly possible without becoming an 80's anti-drug mascot, I don't think that is the case. Hanging out with me usually consists of chatting or studying.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I have friends I go years without talking to. Personally I feel most people are too needy for social contact. Maybe she is just someone who doesn't require as much social contact as you. I feel annoyed when people call me all the time because I feel that socialization is mostly pointless. Its not that I don't like my friends, I just don't need to hang out with them very often and usually perfer to be alone.

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    • Charmo
      12 years ago

      That is a possibility. If that is so, however, I think I should not be friends with her, because I need to see my friends often and spend time with them, because if I don't, what's the point in being friends with them?

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        The point in being friends depends on what you want out of a friendship. For example most the time my friends want to hang out, I don't feel like hanging out. However if one of them needs something important I will usually do what I can to help, but only if its something serious like their stuck somewhere far away and need a ride home. As far as casual socialazation, I do like doing that occasionally because I get bored. If your looking for a friend who will hangout all the time, then find someone who likes to hangout all the time as well. Non-social people can sometimes be great friends when you really need something thats truly important though.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    She's maybe just busy but has good intentions. She obviously doesn't want to lie to you but maybe you should ask if everything is ok between you two.

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  • Sillygoose
    12 years ago

    She is obviously a bitch.

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