Is it normal for a friend's parent to yell so much?

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14 Comments

Hey guys, one of my friend's (she's sixteen, and I've known her since she was five) parents has a few problems that i think are abnormal, but i would like your guys' opinions on the matter. Her mom yells a lot about the cleanliness of HER (she always stresses the her) house, although it is in very good condition considering six people live there. Her mom will yell about pointless things like a wrapper on the ground (in front of guests like me) and it will become a HUGE deal on her daughter's irresponsibility and laziness (she has straight A's, so she is absolutely not lazy or irresponsible, but all her accomplishments mean nothing to her mom. She literally just dismisses everything with a "cool" and turns away quickly) and then that problem will somehow morph into her mom asking why she "hates her so much" and all that rubbish. Her daughter will ask her a question like "where do i put this (doctor's note, etc)" and the question will be completely ignored, but brought up later in the context of "you're supposedly SMART! U figure it out! Ud think i could expect more from you!" and then her mom goes back to staring at her phone screen for the rest of the day. Every question her daughter has is ignored in favor of some electronic or other, but she doesn't seem to do it out of anger or anything (I think). She also hates her daughters clothing choices (she prefers to wear a kinda baggy t-shirt and jeans, nothing to be angry about) and tells her she cant go out in public like that, and that she looks like a bum, things like that. She pressures her to wear makeup and care a LOT about how she looks and stuff. Sometimes, much worse happens (although no physical), but that stuff doesn't happen very often at all, so i only thought it was important to mention the things that happen constantly. Sorry this is long, thanks for reading it though :)

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29% Normal
Based on 42 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • ihateallmyclothes
    9 years ago

    My dad's like that

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    • kittycatrelle
      8 years ago

      Fuck him

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  • kelili
    9 years ago

    Nothing to worry about.

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  • Avi
    9 years ago

    Story of my life.Except I don't have straight A's,but I do have good marks anyway,but I stopped telling them because my mother always turns the good news into bad ones.And if I did nothing wrong,she brings up things I did years ago,for no real reason at all.I am in that point of my life when I say "that bitch" refering to my mother for like 20 times a day.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Yes, my friend feels the same- ex- girl- "MOM! OHMYGOSH I got a HUNDRED AND 2 PERCENT IN HONORS CHEM!!!!! :D:D:D" mom- "great... now you can focus on your chores cause you obviously didn't work too hard in that class", but you should have seen her; she was working SOOOO hard (the average grade in that class was a C-) and was pulling all nighters and taking free online college courses in organic chem, but her mom never noticed ANY of this, except for feeling an extreme annoyance when one dish was out of the dishwasher...

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      • Avi
        9 years ago

        Exactly!My mother also sais to others that my sister did all the things I did.She gets the credits for my work.
        I also work hard on different things,but my mother doesn't care at all and she says I'm dumb because I am in arts school at the moment (I wanted to concentrate on art and to try to express myself through it rather than going to learn about medicine things).
        The only moment when she notices me is when I do a mistake.Then I have to hear about it the whole month or until she finds something else.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          same with her brother! anything the sister says is changed a few hours later into "ohhhhhhhh remember when he said (blank)... he is soooooo smart! lets tell the teachers to let him skip a grade!"
          BTW, Good luck in art school! To me, art takes way more talent than medicine (all tht really takes is time, money, and a good memory to pass the tests), but art is ACTUALLY judged on your ability to do something for real! :D good luck, not everyone can do that!

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          • Avi
            9 years ago

            I really hate it when it happens.That kid may be really dumb,but they treat him like some godness.
            Thanks! :D
            P.S.: Sorry for really late reply x(

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  • Holzman_67
    9 years ago

    I think some of it could be stress related, that is certainly adding to the over-reaction to the situations. But another part of it, well I can kinda relate. Once you have kids of your own or even just live with others, the smallest things start getting to you once they become repetitive. You never know, these issues may have started off with rational responses to them but have been going on so long now that it's driven the mother crazy.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Yes, I have thought of that, however, it seems as though it is more a matter of the mom glued to electronics than a small little thing being out of place (of COURSE that happens all the time, esp w the youngest child being 7 years old; things aren't going to be perfect, and it shouldn't always fall to the oldest girl to be yelled at for), and i know that her mom's responses are hardly ever rational, and are really a matter of her emotions at the time. (once when i was over, the girl was washing the dishes and dropped a plate, but her mom gave her an evil look, but said that it was an accident and was ok(this girl really isn't clumsy, she was about 9 when she dropped the plate, and was getting the hang of things then, so that was pretty understandable), but then, a few months later, she drops a pen. It doesn't explode or anything, but she got in LOADS of trouble for doing it, and the dish she broke was brought up, and from then on it was a war-zone of one way attacks of "ur lazy!!!!/ why do u always have to distract me!!!!, etc, etc" ) totally unpredictable... and very scary when she explodes (like if there was a knife in the room, i would be worried she'd kill someone, although these rages don't happen very often)... thanks for your time, i really appreciate all opinions on the matter :)

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      • Holzman_67
        9 years ago

        oh yeah well the mum is probably highly neurotic, possibly OCD and has anger management issues.
        Sometimes when older children get in trouble for things younger children are responsible for it's because of the frustration at lack of leadership.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          Oh my gosh, that is one thing that really annoys me about her mom... the mom goes on to get angry at her daughter and says "they are like this because of YOUR poor example," even though it was really the mom they got it from (like angry outbursts, and lack of any control at some points). Thanks so much for your time...

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          • Holzman_67
            9 years ago

            yeah sure okay I can see your point but if the girl is failing to show leadership you can understand how that can be frustrating for the mother. It is part of upbringing to get your children to assume responsibility and maturity which comes from leadership.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago

              I don't think she is (granted, i am not always around to witness it). She seems to be very down to earth, but she is pretty introverted, so she doesn't exactly raise them or anything. Both parents are gone to work for a lot of the day, so she ends up being the 'parent' most of the time, but she has been doing this since she was maybe 12 or 13 or so, and really shouldn't have been responsible for so much (three younger siblings that she had to watch, while constantly cleaning their messes, and getting homework done). I know u are probably more qualified than i am to know if she is really an annoyance to her mom, but i know i would be doing much worse than she was if i was in her place...

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