Is it normal for a father to justify abuse as 'caring' for someone?
For 21 years (I'm soon to move out because I'm getting married) my father has basically been verbally abusing me and my mother. He owns a company that she and I are forced to work at, and cannot get a job elsewhere, because if we did he will shut down the company, blame the demise of the company on the family, divorce my mother, and move away and we will never hear from him again. Recently, my father told me I was not ready to get married because I couldn't even take care of an animal, let alone another human being, due to a big mistake I made, which I still feel bad about, of not changing my niece's diaper for six hours. He said that I was nothing but lazy, and didn't care about anyone but myself, and that asking me to do anything in their house was like pulling teeth. I have tried to tell him that I am unmotivated in this house because of the negative atmosphere, but he says I'm just giving excuses. He makes my mother do everything in the house. He doesn't help out at all, and although he has a few health issues, he thinks his is the worst of them all in the whole world. He says he tells us the 'truth' because he cares about us, but is that really what it is?