Is it normal for a dad to call his kids names when fighting?

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5 Comments

I turned 18 in May. My 13 year old brother and I have lived alone with our dad for 5 years now. Ever since we've lived alone he's gotten extremely aggressive. He's really nice and a good dad, he gives us things we need etc.

He gets very mad over tiny little things. Even his girlfriend asked him why he gets so mad at us for doing nothing. Yesterday he asked me to shovel the drive way (snow) and I sighed a little bit because it is FREEZING, like most people would, and he screamed at me about how I'm a "spoiled bxxxtch" "@sshole", etc.

Every time we fight he calls me names like that, my brother to. I still remember things he's called me from when I was 13. It's gotten to the point where I am too scared to speak a lot of the time because he gets angry over everything.

I know lots of parents who do stuff like this though, not sure if it's normal

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25% Normal
Based on 20 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    I don't think many kids have any conception of the stress many parents are under these days, to provide for their children. It certainly doesn't give a parent the right to treat their children that way, and they shouldn't.
    However, if your dad has been raising the two of you alone for 5 years, it might explain it. A parent can't help but have some resentment that he directs at you two.
    He definitely needs help, but if you can understand a bit where it comes from, perhaps it will make it less painful and you can forgive him.

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  • inappropriate11
    8 years ago

    Sadly this is normal.. I wish I could say different, but a lot of parents are extremely abusive

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    I always just yelled back at my folks when they did and still do that to me.

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  • Crow
    8 years ago

    I'm unsure about whether or not it's normal as well but I had a similar upbringing to you. My parents spewed insult after insult over the smallest things.

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  • gloryholeflasher
    8 years ago

    It's not right for a parent to call his child names like that. I have a daughter who was very exasperating to raise and in my frustration I called her "stupid" or "idiot" a few times. After 30 years she still mentions it once in a while. I feel really bad that she's so sensitive that she is carrying this with her for life. I apologize and she assures me it's OK, she's over it. If she was over it I would think she would quit mentioning it, but what else can I do? I can't unsay it.

    You already know very well that it's not easy being a kid or a teen. What you don't know, yet, is that it's sometimes not so easy being an adult either. Being a parent is probably the most important job anybody can do, and it's a job most of us have little or no training for. We don't know what we're doing and we make a lot of mistakes while we learn.

    You didn't mention your Mom. Is your Dad a single parent? It's quite a challenge and burden to raise children alone, without help. Maybe you can take the initiative and turn things around here. Instead of waiting for him to tell you to shovel the snow, and then getting an attitude about it, maybe you could look out the window and see that the snow needs shoveling and think to yourself how much you appreciate everything your Dad does for you and click out of FB, or whatever your doing, for a few minutes and go shovel snow without being told.

    As you get older you are going to be struggling with Dad to get more privileges. This would be a good way to show him you're becoming more mature and more responsible and may help influence him to start treating you more like a young adult instead of a kid.

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