Is it normal for a child to be weight-obsessed?

43% Normal
12 Comments

When I was little, I was always referred to as "a little wisp of a girl". I took a lot of pride in being so small. But I remember being in third grade and looking down at my stomach, and thinking of myself as "fat" or "pudgy" because when I would poke my stomach, it was soft. I remember looking in the mirror and seeing the fat, and hating myself for it. I remember being in fourth grade, and taking my dinner into my room, and promptly throwing it away because I hated my body and wanted to lose weight. I figured not eating was the best option. Years later I would come to develop anorexia. I'm proud to say that I am eating what I need to, though I still count my calories like crazy, and have all those little quirks that come with eating disorders. But I can't help but think that the origin of my eating disorder came from way back when. So is it normal for a child to have such a distorted body-image?

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43% Normal
Based on 40 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    I think since that "first time", I've had about 3-4 relapses. Three of them occurred when I was a minor and from the two that I remember, they weren't properly handles by my family and caused me a lot of trauma. The only professional that knows about my ED history is my therapist. She's very understanding and hasn't forced me against my will on anything. I still have a fear with weighing 100 pounds or more. The last I checked, I was very much underweight. I don't count calories but my metabolism seems to be so quick that I can barely gain anything! Deep down, I think that I still take pride in this.

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    • patronsaintlolita48
      10 years ago

      I'm very sorry to hear about your struggles, and I hope that someday you find the help that you need, the power to heal as well as you can. I'm especially sorry for the way your family handled it. When my family finally found out I had an anorexia, they were so loving and open and receptive. No negative backlash followed: they were only concerned for my health, and saddened that I couldn't see beyond numbers. In fact, it turns out my mother, aunt, grandmother, and great grandmother, all had eating disorders, and so they all could relate and help me through their experiences. I couldn't imagine going through that without their support. You are very strong and brave to be able to go one without such support, and for that I commend you. I hope (and know) you have the strength to continue to fight your demons. Some fears are hard to vanquish. I still can't with some of my own. But you can keep them at bay. And, remember, take pride in being healthy, not in thinness. Being healthy is something to be proud of. Getting through this is something to be proud of. You are more than a number, a value. Humans are not made of binary code.

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      • Avant-Garde
        10 years ago

        Thank you.

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  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    Yes. In fact, you remind me quite a bit of myself. I was always slender and actually fat. Whether it occurred to me or not, I did to some extent take pride for my thinness and fast metabolism. However, I think I misinterpreted a lot criticisms on this as being compliments. I always had on and off periods of eating issues. At a certain age, I got wrapped up in celebrities, fame and the rest of that gossip shit. Whatever eating difficulties and poor self-esteem I had before, became maximised. I had Anorexia but, I don't think that even I realised this fact. I obsessed over what I put in. I took pride in the concerns that my doctors showed, because to me it had somehow become my own secret inside joke. Then, my family ended forcing me to eat simply because they feared what the neighbours would think! I didn't get the proper help that I needed.

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  • GreatArt
    10 years ago

    Yeah, children can bear just about the same thoughts as adults which is why they need to be taken good care of so they don't become damaged, untrusting adults. Once you're an adult, you've recognised your problems in your thought patterns and now you can rectify them.

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  • earth_lovelies
    10 years ago

    I don't wish me or anyone to be anorexic but I think I get the point with the distorted body image. My cousin was an obese child and then she became anorexic in her teen years. She's still not happy. Here's something I don't quite understand: If you happen to lose weight drastically, and you get to your goal weight, why not stop there? I have a feeling that if I'm skinny, I won't have any reason to have the emotion "sad". Wow, that's really blunt and wrong. But when I see a skinny person feeling down, I'm like, wait... what? You're the healthy weight. Why should you ever feel sad about anything else in the Universe?

    When you're obese, the world sees that and then they see you. When you're a healthy weight, the world skips it (obviously) and easily sees you.

    I hear stories all the time about people who have lost weight and report that people have been much nicer to them.

    What a weary world.

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    • patronsaintlolita48
      10 years ago

      I'm very sorry to hear about your cousin. I hope someday she'll find inner peace and the power to heal.

      Anorexia isn't specifically about getting to a goal weight. A goal weight is just a side effect. Losing weight becomes addicting. Anorexia is a disorder typically found in perfectionists and those who feel they lack control in their lives. Since they feel they can't control anything else, they control what they can: what they put in their bodies. Seeing the number go down and down gives them a sense of power and control. To see it go up means they've lost control. The sad part is, the disorder is actually in control: not them. So it's not about a goal weight at all.

      Skinny people have plenty to be sad about. Not all emotions are tied to physicality. Skinny may have divorced parents, may have been abused, may flunk a test, may get cancer. There are so many things we face in life that are in way tied to appearance. Anorexia isn't even about being sad about appearance. Its about all the emotions that can't be controlled outside of appearance, and again, they begin to control what they can. So anorexia manifests from such emotions that aren't even tied to what they look like at all. "Skinny" is also not synonymous with "healthy". Someone can be as skinny as can be, but all their organs would be shutting down because they have no fat or energy to keep them going. A person can be skinny and eat McDonalds everyday, and trash their insides. Someone can be curvier and be extraordinarily healthy.

      Also, the world isn't focused specifically on obesity. It's obsessed with physicality within itself. So many tabloids rip on celebrities on either end of the spectrum, and use negative adjectives to describe both the heavy and the thin. I've been made fun of because of my thinness. The truth is we live in a world that will never be content with us, no matter how we look, because it will use our insecurities to control us. It doesn't matter if you're short, tall, thin, curvy, muscular or gaunt. It matters if you're insecure, because that's what society is exploiting. No one is immune. Because nothing is scary than a person confident in themselves, for then they have an independent means of power. The important part is to be content with ourselves, to be confident in our own ability, personality, and unique beauty. I hope you'll be able to see your unique qualities and beauties within yourself, and to love every inch of them. You seem like a nice person, and you deserve to reach such a content state.

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      • earth_lovelies
        10 years ago

        You seem like such a nice person as well. I stand corrected. Anorexia is more than what it appears. You give me encouragement to realize that it's truly the personality that reflects who you are. I am so bombarded with stereotypes it's actually quite disturbing. Thank you very much for replying. My cousin is recovering as we speak.

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        • patronsaintlolita48
          10 years ago

          Oh, thank you. I'm glad I could help, in anyway. I'm so sorry to hear about how you've been in a blitzkrieg of stereotypes, though. The pain of that must really be a wound on the soul. Remember you are much lovelier and stronger than anything negative someone has to say. A lot of the negativity that comes from people is what they really want to be saying to the mirror. It's the fault within the user of the words, no fault of yours. I'm glad to hear of their process of recovery! I hope they continue to make strides within this path.

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  • Fall_leaves
    10 years ago

    It's something my mother never wanted to talk about but at nine years old I asked her if I was fat. At twelve I struggled with bulimia, and at sixteen it transformed into anorexia. Today at twenty one I can't say I've recovered.

    Younger and younger girls are facing more pressure to be thin. It's not healthy and I hope it doesn't become normal.

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    • patronsaintlolita48
      10 years ago

      Thank you for your comment. I'm sad that my experience with such image issues is not solitary in nature. Yet, I'm relieved I'm not alone... I hope you continue to make progress in your recovery. I know I'm not fully recovered, either. I think that eating disorders never really go away. We can just disarm them of their power. And you are stronger than your eating disorder.

      I hope so, too. I really do. No one really understands how much an eating disorder hurts unless they have one. And I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

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      • Fall_leaves
        10 years ago

        Thank you, that means a lot honestly it's been a long way to this point where I feel a little more free from it everyday.

        I wish you the best as well, that's a good way to view it and you should know you're never alone.

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