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I'm straight, but very so often I'd wonder about what it would be like with another guy. A couple of years ago, I advertised on the internet and got a response that same day. Before I could chicken out, I agreed to meet this complete stranger. My over-riding emotion as he used me was just sheer disbelief that I'd gone through with it.
Isn't that the whole point of being bi-curious? To do this and figure out if you're really bi or not? Why would you wanna stay just curious without ever knowing for sure?
I think deep down I knew it wasn't for real and was just a fantasy. But that day I lost control and, by the time I came to my senses, he was inside me.
Well that must've been quite the experience if you weren't ready for it.
I don't think the reality of the situation truly hit me until he started thrusting into me. That's when my stomach turned over as it finally sunk in that we really were having sex. And I'd have to endure it for as long as it took...and it'd end with him ejaculating inside me. Towards the end, that's all I could think about - I was going to go home with his semen inside me and there was nothing I could do about it. I suppose it served me right for doing such a crazy thing.
How you’re describing the experience sounds awful.
I’m more worried about your mental health here instead of your sexuality.
You talk about being very out of it, and just up and going out to sleep with someone, especially it being sodomy which is a huge deal, you just met doesn’t sound like healthy behavior.
It sounds impulsive and self destructive.
I’m not trying to rat on homosexuals or anal sex or whatever, but I feel like that’s a big thing to decide to do.
I think you should search out for help.
I have mixed feelings about it. I definitely did not enjoy the sex, nor the long journey home feeling myself wet downstairs and knowing it was another man's semen. But I can't deny that there's a part of me that gets some kind of kick out of the memory of having to submit to him and have no option but to endure intercourse as the minutes crawled past. I don't even begin to understand myself. I can't honestly say it'll never happen again.
I was too stunned to feel much one way or the other. Apart from a brief pain when he penetrated me, it didn't hurt like I feared it would. I was just glad he was behind me so that I didn't have to make eye contact. The only thing that worried me was that I never asked him to wear a condom. By the time that occurred to me, he was in me and going for it, so it was a bit too late.
You say that you were bi-curious and from the replies above, it still sounds to me like you did enjoy certain aspects of the sexual encounter while being disturbed about other parts of it...
From personal experience I can tell you this: there are all types of sex that can be had between two guys. Oral, whether giving or receiving, mutual masturbation or just masturbating together... Cuddling, deep kissing, rimming... all those things without having someone put their hard-on up your butt, let alone allowing them to cum inside you.
Also, try and remember, some guys love to take it up the ass and do not expect you to let them do the same with you...
Thus, the whole aspect of being bi simply means that IF you still have that curiosity and are fearful of that first experience you had because the guy had NOT behaved the way a respectful sexual partner should have... then give yourself some time and feel free to talk with another who might have the experience and words of wisdom and cautionary advice to share with you.
And, always, always, always... No condom, no dick in the butt (whether you or someone else's… there are just too many diseases out there that can kill you and harm those you may also be loving at home...).