Is it normal for a 3 year old niece to share a bed with her uncle?

My 28 yr old boyfriend and his family seem to think there is no problem for his 3 year old niece to share the bed with him when he comes home to visit. She cares a lot for him, and she doesn't see him often, because he comes home only for the Holidays and maybe 2-3 times a year, for short periods of time. I have a problem with it because I think she may develop another kind of affection for him, later as she grows up. She already makes connection like: Mom and Dad are sharing a room, my Grandma and Grandpa are sharing another room, and I am sharing it with my uncle. She imitates a lot of what she hears and sees, and one time she called him her husband, like her mother called her father. She brags about it when she has to sleep with her parents, for example when I sleep over. When she does that, her mother usually lets her fall asleep with him, and then takes her away, but I think this only makes things worse and lets her think she can get away with anything. His family doesn't see a problem in it, maybe because they don't see as clearly as an outsider would, but I am concerned of what she might think about relationships in the future, or how would this affect her.

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 115 votes (63 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 18 )
  • anti-hero

    Nothing wrong with it. ffs she is 3 years old! As long as he is not a child molester. Kids her age don't understand that kind of stuff. That is why you hear little girls say they want to marry their dad and little boys want to marry their mom. They don't understand sex. she probably doesn't even know that the body parts are different yet. All she knows is that she likes him and wants to spend time with him.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • daenerys

      Well, i believe you are referring to the Oedipus complex, which may or may not be surpassed in adulthood. This is exactly why I raised my question, because even if she is only 3 (going on 4 in a few months), she is already in her early sexual development stages. And she might be familiar with the differences within body parts, in which case I think she can get a little confused by the situation.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • 69

        for fuck's sake, she is THREE. do you hear yourself? how old are you?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
      • RoseIsabella

        Electra complex.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • So long as there's no reason to believe he's a child molester, there's probably no reason to be concerned.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • daenerys

      I am not concerned about molestation, I am concerned about her having psychological or even sexual problems in the future, if this situation would still go on.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • mlbryan44

        Was someone jerkin your gerkin when you were three or poundin your pudding? Hmmmmm?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • thr

    How about sleeping in the same bed or room as a cousin or sibling? Or a friend, while having a sleepover? Is that going to cause problems?

    The way I understand it, it is a particularly modern and western cultural trait that people sleep alone, unless they are married to each other. I would think that deviating from sleeping alone isn't going to cause problems.

    If the problem is that said niece thinks that your boyfriend is handsome, well, she'll probably grow out of it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • andiforoncedonthatehumans

    U jelly of a 3 year old?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • whykynky4

      You are a pervert, you are sick minded and very wrong. I am taking about the people who say this man is molesting his own flesh and blood and think it's wrong and going to cause her to have psychological problems. It is this sick minded society that puts the guilt and shme on females when they get olderbecause everything is their daddy did is evil. exual hag ups cause confusion and taboo and this is a known a to cause people to get fetishes, taboo.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • andiforoncedonthatehumans

        wtf you smoke crack?Your paragraph doesnt make any sense damn..

        Comment Hidden ( show )
      • pinotgrigi-ho

        Ok. First, this is gibberish.

        But from what I could interpret-

        People molest their own flesh and blood all the time. More molestation happens from family than anyone else. Not saying that's what's happening here, but you make it sound crazy uncommon and unheard of, when sadly, it's NOT.

        second, OP, if you don't think he's priming her or anything, eh, it's fine. They're close. It's occasional, so not like she's depending on him to get to sleep all the time.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • confusedandworried

    Kids who often sleep with their parents can get overly attached and have problems learning to sleep by themselves when they get too old. If she were let's say 6 or 7 and this were happening frequently I might be concerned. As it is she's 3 and it only happens a few times a year so I see no problem whatsoever.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Latercreep

    If this is real than you need to seek help asap. If you are joking, you still need help. Trying to normalize pedophilia makes one believe you are a pedophile….and bottom line is to remove oneself from society permanently before you destroy anyone else’s life. It is extremely destructive to a child’s life when some greasy grotesque adult takes advantage of them sexually. The child suffers for the rest of their lives in every aspect.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • fratom

    There seems to be great trust of her parents of their brother, her uncle: for her she is ever so beautifully a child of 3 years of age: I am certain too he is very much aware of this: I see nothing wrong with it as they seem to be an open trusting and respecting of each other family: what would be a worry for me is that if anything untold happend and years later this maybe not so innocent 3 year old said her uncle did this or that etc His life would be ruined: but generally they all look to be a very caring and certainly trusting family: She as she gets older and he comes home must be told she can't

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • rla600

    I think it is not normal but not for the reason you do. It is not because of the feelings she could develop for him (remember, you are seeing it from the lense of someone who has gone through puberty. She's just a little girl, she doesn't think like that!). I would worry more about possible abuse that would occur. But perhaps that is only because I was abused.

    I wouldn't let my own child sleep in the same bed as her uncle, but I'm not sure if it's wrong.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • whykynky4

    Our society has to many sexual hangups.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Couman

    Do I understand correctly that this is only an occasional thing? When they're short a bed due to a guest etc? That really, really doesn't seem like a big deal to me then.

    Comment Hidden ( show )