Is it normal for a 21 year old daughter to get in bed with dad?

70% Normal
15 Comments

my boyfriend of 5 years just met his 21 year old daughter last year. they have visited 3 times for about a week each. This last visit, they went out drinking, they came home, we put her to bed in my daughters room who was away and he went to bed in our room...passed out. I got busy with company for a couple hours and later when I passed by my daughters room, she was missing. I found her curled up in MY BED next to her dad...who was in his drawers. I will say she was dressed, but this really made me mad and creeped me out so bad I want to get a new bed. When I tried to tell him how I felt he got defensive and then told me he was moving out...and she has since texted me and told me to f/o....it's just very strange behavior to me. I know that men have a tendancy to roll over and fondle whoever is in bed with them....they dont open their eyes to look...I dont believe that anything sexual was going on, but its my bed...I am not this kids mother and again...we havent even known her for a year!!! I have no idea what to think or how to handle this...it has just made me sick.

Voting Results
70% Normal
Based on 23 votes (16 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 15 )
  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    I don't know why people are telling you to relax. I agree with you. It's your house and your bed. She is 21, not 10. They might actually be developing romantic feelings for each other; it's not unheard of.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Rondan
    11 years ago

    That is creepy!! You have every right

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 years ago

    this is dangerous behavior. I wonder what would have happened if the girl was left in the bed, the room is dark, dad is used to sleeping with the girlfriend and he rolls over and theres that warm body and innocently (because he doesn't know his daughter got in the bed) fondles her.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I believe that by flipping shit like that you just made the whole situation waaaay worse. relax, and explain in very calm tone to your bf and his daughter that this behavior bothers you. I'm sure they will accept it and never do it again.

    Now, if they won't.. there's nothing you can do about it, unfortunately.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • confusedandcreepedout
      11 years ago

      LOL...they slept together the whole damn week she was here...maybe they should have got a room...I dont need my daughters seeing that...again....ewwwww

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    If you don't want her to get in your bed, tell her that. There's no need to freak out about it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • confusedandcreepedout
      11 years ago

      your right, I probley shouldn't have freaked, but if he would have listened to why I feel the way I do, instead of being an ass about it, I would never have flipped...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • VioletTrees
        11 years ago

        That's understandable when emotions are running high. Try to have a calm conversation about it and tell them that you personally feel uncomfortable with it, and that you would like to establish this as a boundary in your home.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    Settle your kettle. It's not like he's fucking her. He just hasn't seen her for the first 20 yrs of her life.

    She might not be your daughter, but she is very much his daughter. You're going to have to learn to share him.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • confusedandcreepedout
      11 years ago

      I do share him...but...there was an empty bedroom in the house just for her...I don't think I should have to sleep on the couch because his daughter is here...plus...he was drunk when he went to bed..what if he had rolled over, thought it was me and touched her? They both would have had to live with it forever! I realize that he didnt know her for the first 20 years of her life, but climbing in bed with daddy at the age of 21 to what? make up for time lost? ewwwwww

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Justsomejerk
        11 years ago

        Threesome?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • confusedandcreepedout
    11 years ago

    I am not jealous...lol I have 3 daughters of my own, they are grown and do not get in bed with me...he was not dressed and didnt even know she was in the bed...anything could have happened in inocense. I love his kids, but this just crossed a line with me. I am not her mother and this is my house...and it totally creeped me out

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Dad
    11 years ago

    Jealousy is a curse.
    You should hold back from acting on this in front of others.
    Note, others who are not jealous will think you are horrible, the real issue is you have been cursed with jealousy. There is no known cure, and you will have it your entire life. Try not to burden others with it too.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • confusedandcreepedout
      11 years ago

      lol why on earth why I be jealous of the daughter I basically had to force him to even have a relationship with? That makes no sense! I don't want my daughters in the bed with their father, they are young ladies, not toddlers...this is just bad behavior and putting yourself in a dangerous position!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Dad
        11 years ago

        I just read through your initial paragraph again.
        'They' (father/daughter) went out drinking.
        Then came home and wound up in the same bed.
        You confronted her, and now she has text you f/o, and your 5y 'boyfriend' (calculated at 40 something?) has threatened to move out?
        Pretty sure that's what has happened so far?

        Leave them to their rekindling. Don't get involved.
        If you want to stay with this person who has now put his long lost (also a big concern on HIS behalf) daughter before you, then continue on. Again without interfering in their relationship being more important than yours)

        This 'boyfriend' does seem a bit disrespectful though, to you and not seeing his own young girl daughter for so long. Hope that doesn't happen to your future kids and him.

        Remember their relationship.
        You just happen to be involved with another relationship that has nothing to do with their relationship. Seriously, don't get involved. Unless of course you want to try VERY hard with the daughter, to somehow become friendly again.
        He has already told you that nothing will get in the way of his relationship with his daughter (actually he'll probably just leave again one day) And this means you too.

        You have nothing else to say on the matter.
        By the way, if someone threatened me, I'd move out!

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1