Is it normal for 2 people with a large age gap to feel this way?

So I met this guy when I was out one night with my friend. As soon as we saw each other we were instantly attracted to one another. We got talking and we have now been seeing each other for about 3-4 months now. I am 19 and he is 34. I've always liked older men but this is such a large age gap and I keep telling myself to just look past the age gap, but I just don't think I can. He has been married once before and satisfied my curiosity for drugs. In that regard seeing him is not healthy for me and defiantly is not something I want in a serious relationship. I want someone who influences me in a positive way, not a negative one. I know he can stop taking drugs and he is not an addict as he has stopped taking drugs all together now for a while. I feel like I shouldn't like him, but I do. And he treats me so well and would do so much for me. We always have such a good time together and always are excited to see each other. Something that also does worry me is what my dad will think of him. Like, what's a 34 year old hanging around with my daughter? He also has tattoo, and my dad hates them. I just know that if I ever introduce him to my dad that my dad would be pretty disappointed in me and my choices. It's also been about 6 months since my last relationship that lasted for a year and a half. I feel like I want the best of both worlds where I want to be single and not have anything serious for a while but then at the same time, I want the feelings of a relationship back. I also feel really guilty because I have kissed 2 other people on one occasion each since I've been seeing him and I feel so bad because we made a promise that we would tell each other, and I haven't :( Normally I'm always such a honest person but I feel like I just can't bring myself to tell him as, from what he's told me, girls have hurt him pretty badly and I don't want the possibility of us not being in contact anymore to arise. I feel like I just want to date a few people and be single for awhile just so I can learn to know exactly what I want in a partner and learn who I want to be with. I feel like I can't tell him because I know how hurt he will be because if I would only say 'yes' to him, we could be together right now. he gets upset because he has a younger sister and brother who have all ha children and partners and he doesn't have that. I feel like I am just starting out and in life and he is at the point where most people have had children and people start to really settle down. What are your thoughts? What do you think is the best solution to my problem? Please give me your advice!