Is it normal feeling uncompfortable with my bf's white family?

My boyfriend and I are an interracial couple. He's white and I'm black. Anyway, my family have a diverse of couples so it's not abnormal but my bf's family are all one race. I love my bf so much but I feel really uncompfortable around his family. not to be stereotypical but they are not really a "modern" living family. I see confederate flags, the serious faces, and awkward silence. I try to talk to them but the answers are short as if they aren't interested. I feel guilty sometime for feeling this way because my bf is white. I told him on one occasion that I felt uncompfortable because I'm the only black person and they don't seem so open and he'll say "but honey, i'm white" and laughs. I'm like yeaa but you don't act like them,you're open obviously. Also I get uncompfortable when I walk in the room and noone says anything to me or notices me so i just sit somewhere and stay in that spot. When my bf is with me, i feel fine but i know not all of the time he isn't going to be with me in family visits or occasions. Is that normal?

Voting Results
82% Normal
Based on 71 votes (58 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • BurnaBaby27

    Aww. Just stop hanging around them. If they don't like you because of your skin color, they obviously aren't worth getting to know. Tell your boyfriend that they make you uncomfortable and you would feel better not having to interact with them. He should understand.

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  • robbieforgotpw

    I sharted laughing at uncompfortable

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  • jocyjocy20

    I feel like they talk about me befoer I walk in the room because their's this weird silence and stares..I usually say hey and sit down and if i'm lucky if my bf is close i can cling onto him :o lol

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  • Uncomfortable , no P

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  • bighead88

    Just keep yo distance they not Vibin you so why vibe then

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  • blaster

    Ahh yeah that's not long. I'm thinking they'll wanna wait it out and see if it lasts before they eccept anything or go out on a limb. Could be another yr or two yet .
    I think I'd try not to take it too seriously , like not be shallow with them but in your mind sort of eccept that it'll probably have to be ridden out first, no pressure.
    Without race stuff ,my mum always snubed gfs , didn't matter what I said, to her it's not words it's time. I know if I actually get married one day she'd come good in the end.

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  • jocyjocy20

    we've been dating for 5 months. I haven't used the word uncompfortable around or to them; only to my boyfriend in private. I guess it will take time to actually feel compfortable around them. if not, i guess i will minimize my visits

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  • blaster

    Not a nice feeling I spose but how long have you been together? I mean if you marry it's permanent and they'll probably come round in the end.
    Doesn't sound so much racist tho , more so just conservative.

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  • Avant-Garde

    Confederate flags?

    Some people that have them view them only as a symbol for the south without thinking too deep into it. If they were racists, they probably wouldn't want anything to do with you. You being uncomfortable is probably also making them uncomfortable. Try relaxing or don't hang out with them. I'm biracial, but I don't really know how my parents fared with each other's family. I know my mother's side can be very racist and ignorant of others:( Tell your husband how you feel, I'm sure he'll understand.

    Good Luck!

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  • Who_Fan4Life

    Maybe it's because you're saying 'uncompfortable' and it's making THEM 'uncompfortable' as well!

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  • Aleks85

    Maybe it's because you're black and infiltrating on a happy white family.

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