Is it normal feel like you don't matter when girlfriend is pregnant?

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20 Comments

My girlfriend and I are pregnant with our first. She has three from a previous marriage and I have one from a previous marriage. We are excited to have one together. But I feel like i don't matter at all. I am the only one who works she is "bed ridden" because of nausea she hasn't gotten out of bed for 3 weeks. She loosing lots of weight and I worry a lot about her health she can't keep down water even. But i get home i have to dishes feed 4 kids feed her do laundry police the children do homework with the kids tend to her every need. I'm stretched so thin. All of her attention and love goes to the kids they lay in bed with her not me. She hugs and kisses them i get none. I am working 50 hours at work and then my job doesn't end when I get home. And what do i have to show for it kids yelling and screaming girlfriend dying from nausea and malnutrition. Any time i have a PTSD episode from my time in the desert all she says is let it go. I don't have time for you. Im lost and so alone. I feel like I don't matter at all. I just want to hold her when I sleep at least or for her want to kiss me. Does she just not love me anymore? Is this normal way to feel?

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Based on 3 votes
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Comments ( 20 )
  • litelander8
    2 years ago

    You need to confide in family to friends and ask them to come help you. You need help and either you beg someone to come help, or pay someone.

    Postpartum depression is stemmed from the same feeling (plus chemical imbalances). You need to get help with all these children and your wife before you’re going to be able to help yourself. Best of luck. Hopefully, this will pass and your wife and baby will be thriving and healthy.

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    • Killrmuskrat
      2 years ago

      I pray it passes soon we are going bankrupt and I'm so alone i am losing hope

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  • [Old Memory]
    2 years ago

    Wrong choice to make more kids, you had four already.

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  • Grunewald
    2 years ago

    This is heart-rending.

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  • SwickDinging
    2 years ago

    Talk to your girlfriend

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    • Killrmuskrat
      2 years ago

      I do she says just leave if I'm not getting the love and affection that i want

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      • SwickDinging
        2 years ago

        Oh dear. If that's all she says then maybe you actually should think about leaving.

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        • Killrmuskrat
          2 years ago

          I do think about it but i sacrificed so much to be with my first son wouldn't that make me horrible if i didn't do the same for this one. What i have done to be here is a long story to that i am willing to share

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  • RoseIsabella
    2 years ago

    Hopefully ya'll's mother's live close enough that you can ask one, or both of them to help out around the house.

    Are you recieving any counseling for your PTSD from the war?

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    • Killrmuskrat
      2 years ago

      Her mom she helps only when I'm at work. Doesn't clean or anything. And no i don't have time. I get massive guilt trips anytime i walk outside to try and relax

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      • RoseIsabella
        2 years ago

        Are you getting any therapy for your PTSD? Perhaps you could ask your mother to help as well?

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        • Killrmuskrat
          2 years ago

          My mother lives in Florida while i like in MO i don't have time for treatments i seriously am unable to miss work or i get fired

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          • RoseIsabella
            2 years ago

            Have you reached out to the VA?

            Whatever you do please don't take it any of your frustrations on your pregnant wife, because she's carrying your child.

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    What happens when you tell her the same shit you are writing?

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    • Killrmuskrat
      2 years ago

      She tells me just to leave and not come back. I haven't even told y'all the worst part. I live In a town only because of my 1 year old son. His mom wouldn't leave this "shhihole" so I'm stuck here too i have no family nor friends closer than 5 hours away

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        2 years ago

        If a conversation truly goes with you saying "I dont feel you love me" and her response is just "leave and dont come back" you shouldnt be in a relationship. I want to believe you're exaggerating that. But if not she is a psychopath.

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        • Killrmuskrat
          2 years ago

          She says and quoting here "i feel like I'm not loved" "well if how I'm loving you isn't good enough why do you stay"

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          • 1WeirdGuy
            2 years ago

            I cant tell if it escalates to that and shes saying it because shes irritated and feeling nagged. Or if the situation calm and she automatically goes to that. If she does say that without it being a big argument shes a bitch

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