Is it normal: everytime i really like a girl i push her away

63% Normal
11 Comments

Ok, so im one of those romantic types of guys, like since i was a kid ive always wanted to find my true love and be with her and just her and all that, I actually like romantic comedies, because I would like to have a relationship like that. I'm 19, ive only had one "girlfriend" for about a week. But I've had "things" with maybe 30 girls. I dont know why, but it seems like everytime we get close to a dating status, I seem to push them away(not answer their texts/calls, not hanging out with them, etc.). I seriously do not know why I do this. In my group of my friends, im like the "player", because i can get almost any girl in the bed in one night. And i really dont like being like that. I really want to find that perfect girl for me. It's just when things start to get serious... something just like clicks in me. Maybe its because my parents have been divorced since I was like 3 but they still live together and all they do is fight and argue? Is this what people mean when they say commitment issues? Basically the feeling I get is that one of us will break the others trust and cheat, and i feel slightly freaked out. I also have a hard time trusting people.

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 157 votes (99 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Inspector019
    13 years ago

    People can allow their environments alter them if not careful. The key is to realize that this is your life (no one else's), and you have control over the choices you make. If you choose to let your upbringing be the crutch that keeps you from running the race, then you'll never have the chance to win. In order to appreciate the win, you have to have lose a few races. This is part of healthy growing and emotional development. You can not advance without risk. For example you could not walk before crawling and then falling down a few times. The fall might hurt, but it is a valuable part of the learning process that makes you successful enough to stand on your own two feet.

    Only you, no one else, can make the decision to be the person you want to be.

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  • someperson123
    13 years ago

    i think thats a more complicated issue than a simple yes or no. I struggle with it, and I think all you can say is its high risk, high reward for letting someone in that close.

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  • derpyderp
    9 years ago

    You're afraid of being hurt.
    I'm a bit the same...

    I'll be fucking crazy about a girl but subconciously find some stupid excuse not to see her too often.
    It's never until it's too late that I realize what I've done & why.

    Have given away some fantastic girls too.
    Would likely be married with kids if I was different...

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  • Ardetnormalt
    11 years ago

    No ones perfect, and that's your problem. Get rid of the idea of the perfect girl. And you'll notice when you start to push her away and put in the hard work too not. BTW don't except to find Mrs. Perfect if your not Mr. Perfect.

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  • CarsGirlsGunsMoneyMade
    12 years ago

    Totally normal, or if not, very common.
    I'm the same.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I honesty can't tell you if its normal or not. I am a lot like you though I have never been with anyone (okay once or twice but they didn't count in my books) no even as one night stands so I'm not a player or slut of anything like that. But I do have HUGE comitment issues I have never truly trusted anyone in my life and I can't bring myself to let down that gaurd for people. I feel like everyone will either stab me in the back or leave me. I don't want to be hurt. And my parents are still together so I don't understand why I have commitment issues.
    So I can't tell you if its normal or not because I feel the same way and I can't say the way I feel is normal because I don't know what other people would think would they think it was normal or just plain weirrd. I don't know.
    Oh and I've aswell always been a very romantic girl and yet I've never had someone but I've dreamed about it.

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  • Decimo
    13 years ago

    Well, I'm the same way. You want the perks of having a great, loving relationship but you don't want to deal with potential burns. Its normal in my eyes. Maybe we should just take some risks and take it as it comes.

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  • MBakke
    13 years ago

    Don't push those lady skills.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 11 minus now. But whn I first knew him, he was exactly the same way. I think the thong that helped the mOst is that I didn't gI've up because he had noticed this about himself and told me. Whenever he wold do it, I would try to point it out. Eventually he decided that he wanted to Chang bad enough that he just simPly wouldn't let himself push me away.

    It's a good thing that you can admit this, be ause that's thbiggest steP to changing. The second step is deciding you want to change.

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  • sjshp
    13 years ago

    I think that you're a bit afraid of letting someone that close to you, like you are afraid a bit of getting to personal. But i can understand that because of the divorce.

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  • TheConsciousElectron
    13 years ago

    It's a dick move to lead people on when you know you are incapable of giving them what they are looking for.

    Stop pulling girls into you if you're just going to push them away.

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