Is it normal everyone of my male freinds ends up wanting to date me?

57% Normal

This is a major issue with dudes and I hate it. I got to a point when I had nothing but male friends and they all were under the impression I was dating all of them. Each one assumed since I was polite that I liked them and they all got the same impression which I do not understand.

At the time I was actually dating another guy but everyone assumed I was with them too and they almost got into a fist fight over it. Honestly I hate having to choose between them since I feel like I’m disappointing the rest and even when I choose I get anxiety since they all seem to give me the poor puppy dog act and I’m just agitated.

On top of having little contact with any previous friends the ones I still talk to are all in love with me and it drives me insane. I mean why can you not be with a guy and not have to be in love with every single one of them. I use to have a large group of friends very mixed of girls and boys a lot of them gay and their was a lot less tension since their was so many of us. Even when I say "No I do not like you" They go around saying Im dating them anyways and its very irritating.

My parents decided already which guy they want me to marry but I rejected him a bunch of times. I find most people I know too boring or annoying to actually want to be with and when someone wants to date me I just get annoyed. Its gotten to the point when I kiss a guy I feel sick to my stomach like I am going to vomit. I do not know is it normal or do I have something wrong with me.

Voting Results

57% Normal

Based on 56 votes (32 yes)

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Comments ( 21 )

Mando

11 years ago | pl

This is pretty callow behaviour. You're on the young side I'll guess; and whatever your relationships to one another -- there are TOO FEW boundaries.

I think it is time to drop these boys and start constructing boundaries - you don't like them anyway, and they're just confused, over competing, and annoying you. Stay away from the boys for a year. Make some more female friends and give yourself time to learn how to handle yourself as a young woman.

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KeddersPrincess

11 years ago

Yeah; same thing with me. It's all fun and just friends in the beginning, but then they always want to take it to the next level. And then I always feel bed because I'm never interested in them in return and I don't ever know how to turn them down. Problem is, I find it easier to make male friends than female friends, as males are easier to get along with in my case, but seldomly do they ever wanna just keep it as a friendship. And then the friendship is always ruined once they pull out the "romance card".

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starkid

11 years ago

Take a break from boys if you see one of them ignore them!

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

"I mean why can you not be with a guy and not have to be in love with every single one of them."

Perhaps your version of politeness is another persons' version of flirting.
Maybe you are inadvertently sending out mixed messages to them. I'm not saying you are to blame for they way they act, only that there is a possibility you bring on the unwanted attention to yourself with your actions. So maybe there is more that you can do to prevent these situations from occurring in the first place which are making you unhappy.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I do not kiss them they try kiss me and the others followand than one gets mad since they see the other one and say "no thats my girl". A few times I did walk away once and let them fight yes it was messed up and I was not solving the issue but I took the chance to aviod the issue. All of them try kiss me wuth or without my permission they never ask either the only one I asked was my boyfreind and I did not care since I always had ask my boyfreind he never without permission i
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    This is my advice (take it or leave it), because you asked for it by making this story and posting it on this website:
    I still think it is because you are somehow (probably with body language) teaching them to treat you that way.
    
    I've seen many many girls like you do this to boys. That doesn't mean you've asked for it or want it to happen, only that you are the common denominator here so it's time to start being proactive instead of complaining. Stop playing an easy mark for them and take responsibility for the way that others view you and therefore treat you.
    
    Guys don't just take advantage of girls in that way for no reason at all. The fact that you are trying to make it seem as though it is happening that way, shows you need to open your mind to this a little more.
    
    And no, you won't be able to prevent every single guy from falling for you, but you won't have a whole flock of them getting the message you are sending them confused with romantic interest. It really is that simple.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      While I will take your piont that I might be doing something wrong and I do not know what. I will argue that men take advantage of girls all the time its rape and they also kidnap poor women in alot of countrys that they promise a job but just rape them. They kidnap little girls walking home alone and some tgem turn up dead. So you can not say men never take advatage and players as they are called will munipulate women to get sex or a date aswell as abusive husbands and some men will tell everyone they screwed a chick even if they did not to look cool in school. So that statement is false. However some women play men aswell in some cases in my case I just am trying to be polite aince I feel I ow them something they are my freinds. However I am too the piont I am not sure hiw deal with it.
      
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Well I just say please, thank you, hello, nice to see you. Most my friends are really needy so they get upset if they do not all get a hug from everyone so I hug everyone once when I see them. If I pull back they get upset and ask what’s wrong.
  
  I have a few friends who do not want date me but I have little contact with those friends anymore and so I’m stuck with the love dovey ones.
  
  I would not care as much if I was not put under so much pressure and they would stop fighting but it is not working like that. Ironically they are all friends with each other too but they end up fighting over me so I feel bad.
  
  So They like each other but fighting over me so I ended up picking the guy I did not want at all and I have the most control over. I did love having him around but I have not seen him anymore makes me sad.
  
  Also everyone started to wonder why I would hug everyone except certien boys since they always try kiss me and the rest get mad and I feel like I have to babysit children.
  
  I hate it so much. I hate things always end up this way. Sure I liked for once in my life chocolates on valentines which I never get but I had like 3 other guys after me aswell and I say no but they do not understand what "No thankyou means".
  
  I have to be nice to one of them since he did favors for my family and my parents want me marry him. However I jumped out of this and he still will not take a hint even when I told him I was dating another guy who I infact kissed in front of him.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    I don't know for sure because I'm not there to watch you do it and I only have your version of events to go by.
    
    It's just something about the way that you describe this whole situation... I have a feeling that you are at least half-way responsible for the way these guys are treating you. Just make sure you're not sending mixed signals in the future (hugs/kisses/touching are a mixed message) and eventually you'll have nothing to complain about, that's all I'm saying.
    
    Good luck dealing with them. :)
    
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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

For some reason, I think this is fake.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  If it was fake would I be so persistand about getting a awnser.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  No it is not fake. I ask since I have to see one of them tomorrow and I do not know if I should ignore him or hang out with him. I trying figure out how to cope with it. Its rude to ignore them yet at the same if I say yes any of them they fight. I do not know what to do I feel I am messed up if I say yes or no and do not know how handle it.
  
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freebitchh19

11 years ago

I get this too. I have more guy friends than i do girls for the fact of less drama. They all know i have a boyfriend of 7 months and they still constantly try to get with me even though since my boyfriend and i started dating i've been telling them its not gonna happen. But they dont leave me alone. I dont get it!!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  See females understand this! I do not know I kind of am losing my faith in humanity. No one respects relationships anymore!
  
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yesnomaybeso

11 years ago

"when I kiss a guy I feel sick to my stomach like I am going to vomit"

Uh :/ Poor you. Maybe you should take a break from guys for a while :P and after a while you will meet a guy you really like and this is not going to happen :)

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incapable

11 years ago

Happens to me all the time

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Anonymous Post Author

11 years ago

I know its hard get a girl. Women are picky but sadly my boyfreinds always cheat or leave me someone prettier then when other female dumps them comes back to me and beg after treating me like dogkrap a few weeks. So I cant keep any At the end of the day.

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Anonymous Post Author

11 years ago

Ok Fine if its normal how do I solve this solution? I do not like them fighting over me do I cut them all off?

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thinkingaboutit

11 years ago

you're hanging out with a group of sexless losers.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Sexless? Are you saying sex determines this behavior?
  
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  - thinkingaboutit
    
    11 years ago
    
    ??????? no.
    
    I am saying that they don't have anyone else to look forward to.
    
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal everyone of my male freinds ends up wanting to date me?