Is it normal did i handle this wrong

9 Comments

(WARNING:WALL OF TEXT)
(WARNING:WALL OF TEXT)
Let me explain. I was in 12 grade(graduated, I'm 18) and I had been friends with this girl Veronica since I was in 10th grade. We were very similar in that we were both smart, had troubles family-wise, confused, and many other things. We shared everything and had a very personal friendship. I had found out late in the year that Veronica wanted to be in a relationship with me, and everyone else had known from the start. I tried to handle it like a mature adult, talk to her after school about it, told her I didn't feel the same way and didn't want to ruin our friendship, she understood, and that was it, or so I thought.

The next couple of days Veronica started making everything about her, and I realized that this was our whole friendship in a nutshell, me always being the guy that would listen to her problems, always there for her, and such. Whenever I would feel sad or pissed off about something in my life though, she would turn it into something about her.I am a happy guy usually, but she was a depressive mess. The whole school thought I was her boyfriend, which almost ruined my game those two years, and I was pissed. I ignored her, deleted her number from my phone, deleted texts without reading them and purposely didn't answering phonecalls. She ended up confronting me a week before the end of school saying I was a bastard for ignoring her, and ruined the whole day and made my mind a confused mess(not sad, just confused). Like three days to the end of the school year she approached me, and shook my hand, saying that we should try to make the friendship work, and I couldn't say anything. I don't think we could ever repair the friendship. Its been a month now and I still am hung up over it, I feel I should contact her, try to make things work but I can't. I haven't been able to sleep a couple of times because of the incident,and sometimes I feel that I did the right thing, other times I feel like a complete asshole.

So INN, did I handle this correctly?
(Sorry for the mountain of text)

(PS. If you come upon this Veronica, please don't reply. I don't want another fight and if you wanna talk just hit me up on facebook or email me alright?)

You 4
You were reasonable 18
I don't know 4
You were in the wrong, shoulda handled it better 12
Your an asshole, totally wrong of you 6
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Short&2thepoint
    11 years ago

    Run. The. Other. Way.
    It's not your duty to make her happy, not your obligation. If this "friendship" takes so much from you, and is all about her, it doesn't seem fair to you. If you have to confront her about it, tell her what you think of your one-way friendship. Otherwise, she'll probably tag along behind you for years looking for favours until one that she gets from you ends up being trouble. You handled it well, and it looks like you'll have to handle it again. Good luck?

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  • hellobabe
    11 years ago

    um i think you should make up with her....................my first thinking no affence was HAVE SEX WITH HER TO MAKE UP WITH HER XD..........bt just make up with her in anyway she could be a good wife or whae ever but just make up with her be good budds.,.,.......................................mabe give her a pussy fucking then leter give ya a blowjob XD

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    11 years ago

    You were reasonable. She shouldn't have acted the way she did toward you. Your better off ending the friendship. She seems way too needy.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    I read it and I thought about it and I believe that you could have handled it better. You ended your friendship with her and just started ignoring her without giving her a summary of your feelings. Sure, she might have reacted the same way, but I think that you still owed her some explanation as to why you'd wish to end your friendship to her. If she is not mature enough to handle it then that would have been her problem but you did not give her the closure, you left her in the dark and of course she's going to be upset.

    You have every right to discontinue a friendship that is causing you great difficulty but it would have been an act of courtesy on your part to provide her with closure rather than simply ignoring her, which is often a very ambiguous act and could mean anything.

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    • plum6
      11 years ago

      ofcourse he could have handled it better but you are forgetting the fact that the girl in this story was obviously a wacko. The fact that she didn't even pick up on the fact that he was ignoring her and that she was a 'despressing mess' to begin with should be enough of an indication that the girl was socially awkward and just couldn't handle the fact that he finally stopped listening to her BS.

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      • NeuroNeptunian
        11 years ago

        Silence does not always convey as clear of a message as people think that it does.

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        • plum6
          11 years ago

          Indeed not as a direct statement no, but when combined with passing time and letting the 'relationship' gradually fade, it is an effective way to make feelings go away. I have done such a thing, and even though I am not aware of her mindset and opinion at the time, when we (years later) discussed the issue she seemed quite alright with it.

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  • Waffle-Don't-Die
    11 years ago

    If you keep thinking about it just talk to her about it.donuts

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  • Silentnight
    11 years ago

    Hi, you were definately reasonable. She just sounds like a pure attention seeking drama queen. But in saying that, you may have seemed like the perfect boyfriend for her for how good you were to her so it must have bummed her out a lot and hurt when you turned her down so she took it real bad. But also in saying that, you can't help it if you don't feel the same way. You handled it right and still wanted to be friends, but she wanted to make it all about her, and that was her doing, not yours, so its not your fault that she wanted to act that way.

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