Is it normal: destroy something beautiful

I have done the same thing in the past--mostly because when something seems so beautiful and wonderful, I immediately assume it can't be 'for me', like I don't deserve it or was never meant to have it, and that me having it was completely by accident.

And then if a relationship seems so perfect, I get scared that it will fall apart in an ugly and horrible way (nothing can stay so perfect for long, right?) so I destroy it myself before it stops being beautiful...that way, at least I have control over how it ends, and it ends 'my way'.

I'm sure there are many others who behave this way...but no, it's not normal. I'm sorry that this is happening to you, and I think that you need to allow yourself to become vulnerable to people. It's easier to shut yourself away because no one can hurt you, but it's also lonelier. I'm in the same situation. The best thing you can do is start investing yourself in relationships again, realize that you will become dependent upon people to some extent, and believe that you won't get hurt. There's always a chance that you will be hurt by someone...but it's better to take that chance, get hurt a few times and recover, than never know what companionship is.

Good luck, and don't be afraid of loving people. I'm trying to work on that myself.

When you get close enough to people that there is a bond of trust, try telling them about this. I am sure anyone who truly was close would not shy away.

Bob has bitch tits?

I think it's a fear of intimacy. I used to think I didn't have a fear of intimacy but I do.

I use to do that and even when I talked to my therapist I still would do it. I wasn't sure whether it was bi-polar behavior (I am not bi-polar) or was it puberty... It may even had just been low self esteem. Now I don't do it because I am more confident and positive. Try saying affirmations in the mirror. Try being positive and thinking positive. My last incident was when I dated my first boyfriend... I completely ruined that relationship single handedly. Its okay because I deserved better and he wasn't good for me but it took me a long time to get over him and what i did. I didn't forgive myself for a while. Don't be so hard on yourself... The people who truly is suppose to be in your life, the people who truly love you will not leave you. They will never run away from you and they will accept you for who you are. You don't have to change for people to love you. That is what my experience has taught me. People who truly love you will love you unconditionally and they will never stop pursuing you. Some of the meanest people on earth has love ones and people who would give anything to be with them.. Why is that? It is because they found people who would love them unconditionally. It is because they have high self esteem and they are themselves 100% of the time. They don't change for no one. It is because they accept themselves for who they are and once you accept yourself for who you are that is when others will accept you as well. Be you and love yourself unconditionally, flaws and all and thats when others will love you unconditionally as well. What your going through is just a phase, it won't last forever so don't worry. You will get out of this and make long lasting friendships.

I'm in the same boat. I'm there for people, but I have a really hard time not getting attached to someone, and I feel like I'm suffocating them, so I slowly pull away. I act like a bitch as if it's a reflex instead of me doing it intentionally.

It's not normal, but it happens.

mmm. i think you're just afraid to get hurt so you destroy relationships before they do something that will make u feel really bad.

you were probaly emotionaly scared some point in your life. but one day belive it or not you will need someone. no man is his own island. try to tell people your true emotions and settle your past. forgive and be forgiven. good luck and God bless:)