Is it normal being in love with your straight best friend?

62% Normal
12 Comments

Ok so we have been best friends for four years. At the start I wasnt out of the closet and I didnt really have a crush on him, we would see each other everyday at work and we would go out every weekend even though he had a girlfriend at the time. I eventualy came out to him and he was totaly cool with it he said he always kinda knew, as time went on I had a few boyfriends and im currently in a relationship for the last 2 years but im starting to realise that im in love with my best friend more than my boyfriend. Iv been having dreams about him wishing they were real, when were on our own we can talk about anything even gay stuff an he doesnt care, some of my other friends think he could be gay and have said that they think he might like me more than just friends too but I was never sure because he would say to me that he was seeing girls but he would never go out with them and that confused me! some times I think that he does like me ina gay way but I can never be certain, last night I was out with another friend and had a few drinks and I told him all about this and that I didnt know what to do of course he gave me bad advice and told me to text him and see what his reaction is, so I did and I never got a reply which kinda hurt. When I sobered up I text him again just to say sorry that it was a drunken text and I shouldnt of said anything and I hope I hadnt ruined our friendship but no reply to that either, I think I could have freaked him out now and ruined everything. Has anyone else ever have this happen to them?

Voting Results
62% Normal
Based on 82 votes (51 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • la_uva_mojada
    11 years ago

    Well.. 90%+ of a relationship is friendship. So, this is normal for you to feel this way. You have to come to terms with one thing though.. If he doesn't swing that way [so to speak] than you really need to respect that and really work on getting over having any kind of romantic relationship with him. You just need to say something like this, "I really value your friendship and really care about you as a person, which is perhaps why I started wanting to have you as more than a friend, because you are special. However, I understand that you're straight, which makes it an impossibility. I will never cross that boundary every again." You need to meditate on this, my friend.

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  • SangoNyappy
    11 years ago

    Aw that's so cute. And yes it's normal to fall for your best friends since they're usually people with who you share your interests and everything you love/hate. I don't really think you creeped him just tell him to meet you in person and try to settle things up. But sorry if I say something wrong this never happend to me but it happend to my friend.

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    First off it is wrong you are lusting after a man that may not even love you when you are already in a committed relationship. Do you not care about your boyfriend at all? If you are going to be gay at least be Loyal to your lover.

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    • happydude89
      11 years ago

      i dont know what you mean by "if your going to be gay" last i checked i didnt choose to be. but anyway me and my noyfriend have broken up because i realised i loved someone else, and i cant help "lusting" over someone else i didnt ask for it.

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      • Mr.InBetween
        11 years ago

        Yeah I found that pretty funny. It's like telling a straight person, well if you're going to be straight be true to your girlfriend... (??? what??) LOL

        And to you happydude89, I know what you mean. You cannot help being attracted to someone. That is just how we are made. (thumbs up)

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Maybe he didn't respond because he doesn't like reading walls of text with no punctuation.

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    • happydude89
      11 years ago

      look no need to be smart, if you dont have anything good to say then dont say anything at all.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        I can say what I want, it's a public forum. How about this:

        "If you can't type with proper grammar, don't type at all."

        Yeah, that's much better.

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        • happydude89
          11 years ago

          hmmmm how about NO I will type whatever way I want the worse the grammar the better, suck on that!!!

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            So I, for some reason, have to watch what I say. But you can spew out whatever you please? My, how fair. It's it so offensive to ask someone to type coherently?

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            • Mr.InBetween
              11 years ago

              To go on and on about it like you have, Kaiser, yes, it's lame as well as offensive.

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            • 1000yrVampireKing
              11 years ago

              You spew nothing but racist shit it why.

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