Is it normal an ugly guy like me wants a beautiful girlfriend?

65% Normal
24 Comments

I don't want an ugly girlfriend.
I know what a pig I am for it and I hate myself, but what good is there in denial?

Three months ago a girl asked me out on a date, the first girl to ever really take a liking to me, the first to ever talk to me and keep talking no matter how weird I was. She asked me out and I just started to avoid her because I wasn't attracted to her; not because I wasn't ready for a relationship, not because I wanted to avoid the eventual break up (we're teenagers after all), I just didn't want her in that way.

I couldn't tell her any of what I'm writing because it would crush her.

I have a fucked double standard: She has to be beautiful but has to accept my looks.

Though is this girl really that unattractive? People claim to split up on the basis of smell so is it really just as simple as I don't think we would fit? I don't see ambition or courage in her, I see what I see in most people and maybe that's not enough, maybe a girlfriend isn't a person you just happen to pair up with but a stand out person in your world.

Does personality, manner and action make up the majority of perceived beauty? Or am I just another shallow boy who wouldn't mind a girl who looks good at my side, like an accessory?

Voting Results
65% Normal
Based on 69 votes (45 yes)
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Comments ( 24 )
  • anti-hero
    10 years ago | pl

    If you want a better looking girl, make yourself look better. That is a shallow answer, but practical advice. You should try to find someone that you actually get along with personality-wise.

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  • imadragon
    10 years ago

    When you're in love you find whoever it is you're in love with beautiful..

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  • ProseAthlete
    10 years ago | pl

    You know what? You're making all these excuses and denigrating yourself, but you have still ultimately decided that it's totally okay for you to be plain while still deserving a "trophy" girlfriend. That's an ugly way to think no matter what you look like. It's like you've bought into the movies in which incredibly hot women fling themselves at Adam Sandler's latest banal man-child incarnation or hang all over Woody Allen. You seem to feel entitled to a pretty girlfriend, not just someone who matches your own cuteness quotient.

    In real life, it doesn't work that way; you have to have something of value to offer -- and no, I don't mean money (although if a sad old fart like Hugh Hefner wants to spend his millions to buy a plastic blonde, I guess he can do that).

    So you aren't attracted to the hapless plain girl who actually likes you for whatever reason. That's legitimate; we don't get to pick who turns us on. If she could choose, she probably wouldn't have picked you.

    We've all had that happen. The only considerate thing to do is end it; otherwise you're just using the other person for convenient sex or an ego boost. It's not healthy for either party to stay in a relationship in which one person just isn't feeling it.

    Where you fail, though, is in thinking a woman has to accept your gross hairy troll-knuckles, ear wax, spare tire, tiny dick or whatever other physical shortcomings you might have. Um...why should she, especially as you don't seem particularly intelligent, confident, charming or kind to make up for looking like a lump of pork belly in a fedora? A hot woman who wants a hot man is shallow, but she's actually less shallow than you because she just wants someone on her level; you want to use another thinking, feeling human being as your god damned *accessory.*

    You're completely right; you are a pig. You have two choices to un-porkify yourself: Improve your value on the dating market somehow, or learn to be a decent fucking human being who sees women as people, not trophies.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      I wish I could favourite your comment specifically instead of the whole post, it's brilliant.

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    • purpletrain
      10 years ago

      *stands up and applauds*

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      You mad?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      This amount of writing deserves a response.

      You are right. Everything you wrote has gone through my head in some shape or form.
      My view of women probably is fucked by the media but if I'm to fix it, I have to acknowledge the truth and the truth isn't always going to be pure and nice.

      My post is disgusting but it's the truth. I tried writing something that wouldn't incite anger and disgust but knew that no matter what someone would call me a bastard.

      I deserve every word you have thrown at me but next time you find yourself making similar comments towards another poster realise they are human like you and me and will have their flaws.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Attraction shouldn't start with the looks.

    Ah who am i kidding?

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  • MissDethstar
    10 years ago

    Well when you think about it, it's not your fault if you weren't attracted to this girl. But on the other side, it will probably hurt you and make you lonely to keep such high standard. I had friends like that, and they where single for oh so long.They had their very first boyfriend/girlfriend at 22-23 years old ...and it was because either they lost weight or found an average looking chubby chaser.

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  • Directioner
    10 years ago

    Yes its completely normal and im sure your not as ugly as you say you are

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    Totally normal. We all want what's best for us. The sad reality for us uglies is that our targets of choice do it too so it means uglies are condemned to date each other, become rich or kill themselves.

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  • ScooterNyne
    10 years ago

    You are probably being too hard on yourself. Just keep up your hygiene, develop a style, and stay confident and I know you will find a girl that you find beautiful inside and out.

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    There's nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone you're attracted to. That doesn't mean you'll ever get someone if your standards are too specific, though.

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  • americanhoney
    10 years ago

    We don't....date....ugly guys, bro. Get
    Your shit together.

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    • Iamagirl
      10 years ago

      I would i like a chubby guy

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      • americanhoney
        10 years ago

        That is because you are ugly, sweetie, by your own admission.

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  • DolphinAngel
    10 years ago

    I know that problem, bro :/

    I myself hate being the fact that I'm too picky not only superficially but also concerning the character of a girl...

    I consider myself neither ugly nor hot though some people tell me I don't look too bad ;D

    After all I'm more of a shy and I'd say weird person and mainly not that type of guy that is suitable for a relationship and that's why I rather give a fuck about love or seeking love in humans because either way I won't be satisfied :(

    In addition I'm not too much into humans because about 95% or more aren't matching my standards at all the other way around I'm not matching for many either^^

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    It's not a double standard. EVERYBODY wants what's best for them and it's already hard enough to realise where you stand when you ultimately have to settle for less.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    How's that double standard working out for you? Hahaha

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    • haha_think_again_21
      10 years ago

      who's double standard?

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        The double standard of an ugly person not wanting to be with someone like himself/herself but instead wanting someone beautiful.

        What's the point? It's hypocritical and usually just creeps out the people they're attracted to.

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        • haha_think_again_21
          10 years ago

          ohh now i understand.

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  • haha_think_again_21
    10 years ago

    guys dont be hard on yourself you'll find someone no matter how you or them look like if you like each other you'll get over it and not let anyone judge you.:) <333

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  • Henri_jones
    10 years ago

    Man you are over thinking this just because you found one girl unattractive. Doesn't mean you dislike all plain girls you mentioned her lacking 'ambition or courage' well I've got news for you: THAT'S THE MAJORITY OF TEENAGERS! imadragon summed it up nicely and when you become an adult you'll find someone with those traits till then enjoy your teen angst bull crap.

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