Is it normal a one night stand guy forced himself on me?

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11 Comments

ive never had a one night stand before, this was the first one. i havent had sex in ages and seeing as all my friends were very sexually active, i got jealous and frustrated and decided to find some stranger to have meaningless sex with.

so we went to my place and started having sex. after ten or so minutes i started feeling really uncomfortable so i told him that, and he said to just relax and just ''take it'' and started being very rough. i told him it would be better if he stopped but he didnt want to and said he would finish soon but he kept going for what seemed like ages.

i know this is probably not normal but i wanna know if this was rape. i mean he kept going even thought i said i didnt feel like having sex anymore. but it was me who went looking for sex and i brought him home not the other way around so its kind of my fault isnt it?

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Based on 12 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Darkoil
    8 years ago | pl

    There's no two ways about it, that was rape.

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  • shuggy-chan
    8 years ago

    Thats rape . Sorry i was scrolling and clicked normal. But not normal

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  • billygoatgruff
    8 years ago

    There is not enough information to clearly answer. In one of your comments you said that explicitly withdrawing consent should be enough, and I agree. But your story doesn't say if you explicitly withdrew consent. If you did, he should have stopped.

    But if 10 minutes in to consensual penetration you said something like "maybe we should stop" or "I don't think this is a good idea anymore", he disagreed, and you said or did nothing else, then you really didn't withdraw consent. That is just you making a suggestion as to a different course of action, him rejecting it, and you going along with his decision. If you suggest stopping, and he thinks it is a bad idea, you need to specifically say "no, I want to stop now!"

    I don't know happened, and if you did directly say stop, then it is rape from that point. But the way your story reads, it just doesn't sound like that happened.

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    • sararyan7242
      8 years ago

      I agree with billygoatgruff on his points and questions.
      Depends on the answers to the above.

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  • flamer180
    8 years ago

    sounds like rape

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  • Short4Words
    8 years ago

    That's a really complicated situation. The dude is definitely at fault but I'm not sure why you didn't forcefully stop him.

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    • RoseIsabella
      8 years ago

      I once threw a guy off of me about nine years ago. The look in that guy's eyes was priceless!

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    • nobody13
      8 years ago

      I didn't know someone had to use force in order to get someone off of them. I guess explicitly telling a person that they no longer have your consent isn't good enough? And what makes you think that 'forcing' him off of her would have worked? He didn't care when she said she no longer felt like having sex, what makes you think he would've stopped if she used 'force?' Hell, for all you know, he might've been violent and escalated things - would you have then said "I don't know why you tried to force him off if he was going to be violent?"

      This is not a complicated matter; she owns her own body and others can only use it so long as they have her approval. I'm so glad we have an expert in rape prevention telling us how to do things around here. What's next? You wanna tell this girl what should and should not be in her wardrobe?

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      • Short4Words
        8 years ago

        When did I claim to be an expert on rape?

        What made it complicated was the fact that she made no physical resistance and I imagine for some guys that might be all it takes. You're right to suggest it could have escalated things but OP didn't talk about being afraid for her life or anything. It sounds like she might have went into some sort of shock, which I was trying to clarify.

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        • RoseIsabella
          8 years ago

          Maybe she was afraid that if she fought he might get angry and violent?

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        • nobody13
          8 years ago

          Alright. Sorry to go on the offensive.

          P.S. the expert comment was sarcastic.

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