Is it bad that i don't actually tell my therapist everything?

6 Comments

The main issue I have is ADHD. I also struggle with(probably because my ADHD went untreated for too long) depression, anxiety and getting low-key gaslighted by parents for my entire life. I think I also have an eating disorder. I am, I guess, passively suicidal. I'm not currently trying to commit suicide, but I do constantly wish I was dead.

I am in therapy(have been for three and a half years) and have medication for my anxiety and am in the process of getting new ADHD medication. Though... I have never spoken to my therapist about my issues with my body and food. I've also abused my medication in the past during moments of impulse, of which she knows nothing about either. She also is not aware that I still have thoughts of harming myself(am 6 months clean) and suicidal thoughts.

So what do I talk to her about then, if I don't talk about those things? My therapy is very different from what media portrays, my therapist is sort of a professional best friend, she listens to me and affirms that my worldview and the emotions I feel are valid.

I am not here to ask if I should tell her. I know I should. I probably will in my own time. I just want to know if there are any other people on here that are in a similar position, where they don't speak to their therapist about some important things.

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Comments ( 6 )
  • bigbudchonga
    3 years ago

    Ye I don't tell mine everything either. I think a lot of people do this, dude

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  • bbrown95
    3 years ago

    When I talked to a therapist, I wasn't always 100% upfront, either. Even if I develop a friendship with people, it's really hard to tell them everything and I have a way of naturally wanting to pretend everything is fine, even when it isn't. I almost feel like a letdown if I tell people something that might concern them or that I know they wouldn't want to hear about me. While I did discuss important issues, there were some things I would leave out.

    I've also been passively suicidal and used to be on both antidepressants and anxiety medication that actually caused those feelings. I'm not saying get off the meds because what works for me may not work for you and our issues were different, but you definitely want to be careful about your dosage and try your best to quit abusing the medication, and if you need to, discuss changing the type or trying an alternative treatment if need be. I think the first thing I'd focus on was only taking the recommended amount, though. I personally found that anxiety meds caused me to feel extremely tired all the time and sucked away my energy, making me feel hopeless and therefore depressed. Taking too much may be doing this to you on an even greater scale.

    If you'd like to discuss these things with your therapist but are afraid to or don't feel ready, you could try writing it out and then giving it to her. I find sometimes writing things out is easier for me to get what I'm truly feeling out without worrying about someone's reaction.

    I hope you find some solutions!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      My anxiety meds are perscribed in a way that I can take them when I feel a panic attack coming on, and I only take 5mg at a time and it does the job. Never abused those because I know I could actually get addicted to them and I don't get a large amount of pills anyways.

      Every like 4 to 6 months or so however, I'd take around 5 times the dose of the ADHD medication I am no longer on fulltime(Ritalin) as a way of self punishment or to just feel something.. Haven't done it in quite a while though.

      I do need the medication I have and I am afraid that if I were to tell her about this, she might consider taking me off my medication entirely...

      Don't think the things I feel come from the effects of my medication, but thanks for your input :)

      It's comforting to hear I'm not the only one that isn't 100% truthful to the person that's supposed to help me with all of my problems.

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    I tell em too much

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  • raisinbran
    3 years ago

    I told my therapist everything and they changed the code on the office entry keypad.

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  • 666XxKLOWNYBEASTxX666
    3 years ago

    Maybe write your feelings and thoughts down in something I never tell her alot actually its kinda awkward

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