Is it appropriate to urge someone to get counseling?

3 Comments

There's a person in my life who I think desperately needs counseling. I am at a point now where I am ready to cut this person out of my life if they won't get help because their behavior is having many negative effects on me.

She isn't a danger to herself or others. I am relatively sure she has OCPD. The effects of OCPD in personal relationships is extreme, it involves very controlling behavior and a lot of stress and abuse in the relationship. Since it's not a dire situation I am unsure if it is OK to essentially give her an ultimatum-"get help or I can't be around you anymore." I don't want to cut her out of my life and I wish she'd accept counseling so can you please help me with handling this?! I don't know how to approach this and I am at the end of my rope here. It's especially difficult due to the nature of OCPD.

It's OK to urge counseling but not give an ultimatum. 15
It's OK to give an ultimatum. 3
It's out of line to suggest counseling. 0
Other 3
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Comments ( 3 )
  • DADNSCAL
    11 years ago

    It's OK if you really think it's urgent, but if the person is pressured into it, it's doubtful it will be of any benefit. The client has to see the need, and WANT to seek help. It's like court-mandated counseling, which rarely does any good.

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  • Paradiddle
    11 years ago

    I don't think an ultimatum is a very effective and nice thing to do but if this person has such a negative effect and it won't change anytime soon then it could be best to simple refuse to be around that person. I know a friend who had a very controlling girlfriend once due to her own annoying insecurities and it was a shame since the guy is an incredibly nice guy and wouldn't do anything to harm someone but he kept getting accused of things he didn't do and she started taking control of what he did and how he did it.

    People like that are best left alone and quickly for your own sanity and because you DON'T have to put up with it just for the hope of them getting better. Maybe you getting rid of them from your life will make them realize their faults, or not, either way you'll be doing just fine afterwards.

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    Depends on the situation.

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