Is it all my fault?

All right, let me try to lay this out for you: thanks for reading in advance.

Before my kid was born I fell into a depression due to a few colliding circumstances, but I didn't know what it was and it went untreated. This resulted in me dropping out of college and wracking up unpaid debt.
Soon after, I married someone in the military, was introduced to online gaming by spouse and developed an addiction to it over the next couple of years.
In this timeframe we had a kid, spouse worked full time in military, I stayed home with kid during the day then went to a part time job at night. I know now that I used gaming as an escape, but our kid received love, attention, and care, spouse received love, sex and dinner on the table, dishes were done, laundry was washed...maybe it wasn't to some unknown standard, but whatever. Spouse just got closed-off about it and I was still slipping further and further down.

Kid was toddler when I started actually considering the words 'depression' and 'addiction'. I got some therapy and started seeking out self help online and in books, but was resisting medication. Spouse didn't believe me, said "I've dealt with depression my entire life and I deal with it. Get over yourself!". I am likely already being viewed as a less-than-fit parent though our child is happy and physically healthy.

Soon we realize our kid is behind in speech. Once kid is school-age it is apparent there are behavioral issues as well. I get him fully evaluated through school and results come back as Autism Spectrum Disorder, which isn't a full Autism diagnosis, but somewhere within that Autism bubble. This is all over the course of a couple of moves, a year long deployment of spouse, and a separation where I move back home for a year. Towards the beginning of this, I did end up relenting on medication, but I only ever worked mediocre jobs--meaning I've been heavily supported this entire time. Once I was interested in going back to school, I realized that my transcripts would not be released due to the debt. I have never followed up on other forms of training, still don't know 'what I want to be when I grow up' and am now truly questioning my level of maturity.

My kid, due to the evaluation, receives whatever extra speech and behavioral help is needed in school. He is funny, friendly, healthy and smart. In my opinion our kid is no more "testing" or "disrespectful" or "out of control" than the good average. Soon-to-be Ex thinks otherwise, thinks I am to blame and takes responsibility for all that came out good in this whole scenario.

TLDR
Ex's opinion of me: I'm the selfish one, the drain on the family, the reason for our kid's supposed deficiencies and the one with all the excuses. Ex is the only abiding savior to this mess. Now Ex is laying down the law like I'm an unreliable teen. And because I've spent many a year asking these and many other questions to myself, I am at a loss as to the truth.