Is it a turnoff to wait for someone?

56% Normal
19 Comments

So is it a turnoff if your bf or gf waits for you to fully commit? or to basically just let you know that they will always be there because they want to no matter what? I would think that would be really nice to hear and probably make you want them more. But I have come across a few articles or statements where it says (especially for guys) that it's better to not be so "available" and its actually a turn on. Or that it's a turn off if you see theyre settling down with you or putting up with all your crap? It appears they don't have "self-respect" which therefore, results being a turn off. I don't know if my bf probably looks at me that way or if he even notices that I will always be there for him no matter what. Yes Ive been putting up with a lot of bs, none that I deserve, but I have faith in him and us. I haven't exactly told him I will always be here for him or that Im willing to wait, because I want to know if that would turn him off or turn him on as in he'd appreciate me more. I hate how basically "playing hard to get" comes off as a turn on for people. I'm sorry but I can't pretend Im busy so he can like me more. Even if I was really busy or busier, I would still let him know I'm available for him.

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 9 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • flamer180
    8 years ago

    awwww that sounds sweet :)

    im a guy, and telling him, that you'll wait for him is definately a good thing

    i dont care for the "playing hard to get" thing either.

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  • Cocomilktitties
    8 years ago

    I agree with you! I don't get it, either... how some people find it a turn off to have someone available for them and how some people find it a turn on when someone is playing hard to get. For some reason, though, I find that a lot of people feel that way. I guess maybe it's a thing where they want what they can't have?

    I also think that in today's world, with so much of everything being about the "individual" and "not needing anyone but yourself" blah blah blah... there has kinda been a movement where people don't really want to open up fully and show venerability. And I think that a lot of people admire the "hard to get" image.

    But if you really love someone, I think you have to make yourself venerable at some point and you might have to take that leap. I like the way you think about it, and I often wish there were more people who did think that way. Watch out, though. It is not worth it to put in all of that investment into someone unless they are willing to give it back.

    There is a difference between waiting for someone to open up a little bit and get comfortable and waiting for someone to feel the same way about you as you feel about them or waiting for them to WANT the same thing that you want. I think maybe the first one is the only one that could be worth it.

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  • NathanScot
    8 years ago

    Utterly ridiculous.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    It would take someone completely lacking in self respect to be willing to wait unconditionally for someone else to make a commitment. Talk about hard up.
    Life is just too fucking short.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      That doesn't really answer question tho, so it would be a turn off to you if your Gf was waiting for you and willing to be there for you because it shows she does love you?

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      • flamer180
        8 years ago

        if your willing to wait, it definately shows that you love him

        theres no way he shouldnt be able to see that

        i dont see how that could be a turn off :)

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      • flamer180
        8 years ago

        btw im REALLY curious, are you a psychologist taking a survey, or are you really a girl in this situation?

        please answer meh! :o

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          I'm actually a girl in this situation. Do I sound like a psychologist?

          But yeah exactly. I feel like today is really about egos and life is short crap. Like what happened to real love? I look at old couples who have been together for more than 50 years and thats probably because they love each other and worked out their problems, not quit and said bye. For me, I am willing to wait. I can't see myself with anyone else. As for him, he also sends me clues that he does want to be with me but the thing is he can't and is having second thoughts. But again, why does he show me sometimes he does want to be with me? I'm willing to work it out with him and it seems like he is too even if it means we have to take it slower cause of or circumstances.

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          • flamer180
            8 years ago

            Yea I thought you were a girl lol, I swear I came across a psychologist in a different poll though lol

            Yea I agree with you, that YOLO crap XD haha
            YOLOOOOO DOGGGGGG SWAG SWAG! lolol

            I knowwwww :o EXACTLY Thats exactly what I say! People should try to stick together if you truely love each other!
            Im so glad we agree :) It's nice to find another person who wants a relationship to work ;)

            Awww, it sounds like he does want to be with you :)
            I dont know what circumstances you're in, but things can be worked out ;)

            Btw, im just curious here, but Id really like to know your name if you dont mind?

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        I wouldn't want anybody to put their life on hold to wait until I was ready to commit. One sided love isn't worth the risk. Life is way too short, as I said.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Wow so you wouldn't appreciate the person who wants to wait for you and lets you do your thing but shows they're committed to you? I just dont know how I can pass someone like that, Id appreciate them and love them for that

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          • thegypsysailor
            8 years ago

            No, actually I wouldn't want that responsibility. If I'm not into someone enough to include them in my life in the very near future, then I probably never will. Why keep them hanging on? Isn't that just a cruel ego trip?

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              I dont think so. I would be flattered that this person is willing to wait for me and be there for me. How many people would do that for me? It would be one thing if I didn't want the person, then I'd be like no move forward with your life. But its another if I do want them but I can't offer them what I want to offer them at the moment and yet they are willing to wait, I'd be flattered and happy. Sure I'd feel a little guilt but we would communicate through that and understand it's a mutual thing. Im not making him/her wait; its because they want to and I gladly accept.

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    • flamer180
      8 years ago

      we meet again >.>

      it's not necessarily "hard-up" but it could just be strong love :)

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