Is it a good thing to not buy you special gifts but make time for you?

20 Comments

What is more important when it comes to a guy showing his gf he values her? Buying her special gifts or making time for her? I.E. my bf just spent the weekend with me and put aside his errands for my bday yet he just gave me a gift card. Yeah I was pretty disappointed. I feel like I'm not worth more than a gift card but then I feel like I should cut him some slack because maybe he thought spending the weekend with me was more valuable from him to me than an object. Or am I making an excuse for him?

In general, guys, whats the number one way a guy shows he values her?

Making Time	22
Buying her special gifts	1

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Comments ( 20 )

charli.m

8 years ago

If my boyfriend goes to the trouble of doing anything at all for me, even saying good morning to me, I take it as a lovely thing for him to do.

If he spent time with me for my birthday, I would be grateful for what I got - HIM. I wouldn't whine on the internet that I'm worth more than a gift card.

But then, I value HIM, not his money.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Yeah thats what I thought I was doing at first (whining maybe asking for too much?) but now I know for sure that I AM worth more than a gift card especially on my birthday so the best thing to do now is confront him about it and I wnt feel like a spoiled brat like o thought at first.
  
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  - charli.m
    
    8 years ago
    
    Congratulations, you're a selfish cunt.
    
    Dont come crying to IIN when he dumps your materialistic, self serving arse.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      Oh so I'm materialistic cause I think I deserve more than a gift card on my birthday? Nice job jumping to conclusions you close-minded CUNT.
      
      STFU you always sound bitter when you comment. You think your comments make others feel bad? Na they just make you feel better about yourself.
      
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      - charli.m
        
        8 years ago
        
        I say it how I see it. I have no need to "feel better about myself".
        
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derpyderp

8 years ago

If you have to ask then you don't deserve his time or his hard earned...

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TrustMeImLying

8 years ago

Isn't it circumstantial? If both live a busy life then making time together naturally becomes valuable, if time together is aplenty then a special/thoughtful gift will hold more value.

I understand being offended about getting a gift card, I find them sort of meaningless myself, and have yet to give it to anyone. But it's no biggie when I get one.

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mystery7

8 years ago

What is going to stay in your memories 5 or 10 years down the track?
The pointless and stupid (not to mention now worthless, decayed and useless) present he bought you?

Or the fantastic memories and feelings created by being together with the one you love?
A lot of guys show their love by doing things for their partner and making time to be together.

Let it go.

I get the feeling you should be grateful he loves you.

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JD777

8 years ago

i would think a woman with truly romantic feelings for a guy (so, we're excluding gold diggers), would prefer his time and attention over just gifts. That said, a gift card is kind of a lame gift, unless he knows you love to get them.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  It is a lame gift, it was effortless and I can't see someone who values their partner a lot giving them a gift card on their birthday unless they just started dating. If this was my first bday w him and we just started dating, I'd think this was sweet. But not in this case
  
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chained_rage

8 years ago

Hoodies. Girls only want guys' hoodies.

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VinnyB

8 years ago

As the girl shouldn't you be answering the question? The option that means more to girl is the one that is going to make her the most happy. The answer to what a girl would prefer more will vary from girl to girl. It sounds like you would rather have nice gifts than his time, seeing as how you were bummed out by the situation. So maybe you need to rely that concept to him.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  BUT see the thing is, if he meant to give me his time as opposed to buying me a special gift to make me feel loved and appreciated, then I'm fine with that! Its all if for him, making time means more than buying me gifts. I want to see where he's coming from and guys in general, what do they do to show their girl they value her because as you can see, sometimes the girl falls clueless and didn't know that specific action meant more than the other.
  
  If I had it my way then Id get his time and special gifts! But thats not always the case so I want to actually not pressure the guy and not ask him for what I want but rather learn his way of showing me he values me.
  
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  - VinnyB
    
    8 years ago
    
    Yea I understood what you were asking, my point is that it's silly and irrelevant. It's your birthday. If you are not happy with the way he handed it tell him. Besides there are no mind readers here, no one can tell you why your boy friend does something. Talk to him, tell him how you feel. He can tell you why he did what he did and know better what you like for the future. Your question here is a waste of time.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      I don't think its a waste of time if I want to know what guys generally do.
      
      But in terms of my bday, yeah I guess I do agree with you. I just don't want to sound spoil when I confront him. But I'll try my best to confront him my feelings in the most humble way.
      
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      - VinnyB
        
        8 years ago
        
        Well it is a waste of time because there is no general answer, it is a matter of preference, as well as financial circumstance which will vary from guy to guy. More importantly, how or why a random stranger does something is completely irrelevant to why your bf did something. The only way asking this question has any value is if you are trying to justify his actions in your head and validate you justifications via this forum. And that is a silly nonsense waste of thme when you can just talk to him and get reality rather than fantasy.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        8 years ago
        
        Yeah but see asking this made me feel better cause now I know I do have a reason to be upset and its not just me. But thanks for talking some sense into me. Can you talk to my bf? lol
        
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LadyEliza

8 years ago

Try both.
You don't have to give gifts all the time, just occasionally.

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[Old Memory]

8 years ago

I think it is way sweeter to personally make the gift or card. Making time and showing you care are most important. If a lady is upset because she just got a gift card....... hmm there is no way to put that nicely.

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[Old Memory]

8 years ago

it's a loving thing to give a small gift so i understand the disappointment, i dont think you're selfish or mean
happy birthday

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Are You Normal?

Is it a good thing to not buy you special gifts but make time for you?