Is is normal that i want to block out my feelings?
When I was younger, I seemed like a smart and good kid. My parents praised me they would just say "good". I became afraid to let them down because I didn't know any better. I didn't know what it was like to clearly express my self. I felt like a puppy just being told what to do and be expected to do it well every single time. When I got to middle school, I decided to let go. You could say I was in the beginning of my "rebellious stage". I just wanted to let go and take a breath of fresh air. My parents were not pleased with my grades. I know education is an enormous part of my life but, could you blame me? All I wanted was to let go for once.
They yelled at me until I cried. I was told "I never wanted you anyway". They would tell me to stop crying and crying didn't help. When I tried to remain emotionless, they would say "don't look at me with that face" when it was just my normal expression. I just stopped caring about it til this day. I just want to curl up into a ball and try to block it all out and don't let them know that their words hurt. I wasn't their "perfect" little girl no more. I'm just a normal girl who loves books and games with terrible memory. Thank you for reading this.