Is he good for me or no?

57% Normal
9 Comments

I'm having trouble trying to figure out if my boyfriend is good for me or not. They say that if he/she brings out the best in you then they're good for you. Yet, I am not sure if he is bringing out the good in me or not. I am so confused.

Outside of him, I am known to be this confident, assertive and maybe a little "heartless" person. But ever since I met him, I became vulnerable, softer, and more forgiving. From the beginning, I felt like he was good for me because I became this softer and more patient person as opposed to before but then I also feel vulnerable and weak like a doormat, something I wasn't used to so I miss my confidence sometimes. He's not a bad person, either but it's just how our personalities balance each other's I guess.

With that being said, idk if he is good for me cause he made softer and more patient or he isn't good for me cause he took my confidence away and I feel insecure around him. At this moment, I do think he is good for me because he has made see things in a more mature way but then its the moments of lost and despair he makes me feel that got me thinking he isn't good for me. Help?

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57% Normal
Based on 7 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • pyrofox
    8 years ago

    He's probably as nervous as you are to hurt each other. So without trying he distances himself and unintentionally hurts you.

    experence: I've gone through the same thing my gf is like you I've probably helped her a lot but now she's insecure. And feels to me kinda alone.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yeah I just like how he makes me look at things in a more mature manner. I feel good but because he makes me challenge myself, sometimes I feel insecure. Challenges are good though, they help you grow and tht's how I see this whole thing but I dnt want to lead myself on into thinking Im doing the right thing by staying with him when really, I'm not. I should leave and find someone who doesn't challenge me and accepts me for me. I have had that before and I didn't like it. He made me rule his life basically and I always wanted him to tell me NO. My bf now does that. But it makes me feel insecure. I guess it's a good form of insecure and slowly it'll build real confidence.

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      • pyrofox
        8 years ago

        He kinda sounds like a chill guy like me. All I can say is your lucky guys like us are like once in a blue moon we appear but can disappear on a whim. So hold him tight, don't worry your insurcurity is really just comes with the relationship. He will appreciate it greatly if you can return the love. don't be afraid to make him make the descions. You guys can lean on each other your not alone, hope it goes well.

        Ps. You 2 sound like a really adorable couple

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    "They say that if he/she brings out the best in you then they're good for you." I've never heard anyone say that ever .-.

    The right person is someone who loves you for you, the good and the bad.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I guess what you said doe also apply to determine if your partner is good for you or not.

      But for what I said, I suppose it just means that it's a good thing. I mean you wouldn't want to be with someone who brings out the worse in you right? So thats where I;m confused. I don't know if he's bringing out the good or bad in me. He makes me want to be better but at the same time, I feel like I lost all my confidence that I had before so I'm not sure where to go from there. Like I mentioned on my post, overall I do think he is good for me especially considering people notice good changes in me like I'm softer, more organized, more careful, more polite, etc. So I think my "confidence" back then was artificial so really, I didn't lose anything. But it's those moments where I feel like a doormat with him, insecure and just lost that make me question is he good for me? As I said, he is a good guy, too, so it's not like he purposely makes me feel this way.

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      • Arm0se
        8 years ago

        Sounds like love to me.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          It is and being vulnerable is a part of it. I think the only thing missing is some compassion from him. He's so aloof and makes me feel like he can care less of my feelings but when I ask him, he gets a little choked up and at loss for words then tells me he does but he doesn't know how to handle it. I believe him but sometimes his actions do speak otherwise until we talk about it again and he realizes he does care about me. It's just a circle every time. With him showing compassion, I won't feel so alone or lost and itll build my confidence level too.

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          • Arm0se
            8 years ago

            Sounds like me (offline). Maybe he's just shy, or inexperienced, or both.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              He def is experienced as he's only had long-term relationships and more than me before myself.
              Idk, I don't think he is shy well eh maybe. He feels awkward at expressing his emotions and basically "relationship stuff." But he turns it around by being "such a guy" which is why I don't see him as shy. But I think thats how most guys are, they'll put up this front like all is well and they're tough so they don't look like the shy, insecure guys they really are. Im sure if you pull down his appearance and see his insides, its the opposite of the outside. Its been a really tough ride in dealing with him lacking to express his emotions especially in this case where I feel less confident than my normal self. I wish he can put the effort to try to give me compassion. He says "well I try" meh...I don't really see it happening though. If thats his way of "trying" we've got a lot of work to do.

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