Is being turned off by vulnerability/emotional reliance normal?

21 Comments

I am most certainly straight, and I am positive that this is not a function of denial for my sexual preference.

But whenever men express emotional affection for me, thereupon revealing a more vulnerable side of themselves, I feel "turned off", so to speak.

I have been in many relationships but very few times have I truly been glad or excited to hear of an emotional dependence on me. It makes me think of a man as childish, which is awkward and occasionally repulsive to me.

Anything of a sexual nature is normal and responsive for me, it is only the expression of an emotional dependence that seems to discomfort me.

For those of you who deem themselves competent in psychology, which I do not myself, I stress that I grew up feeling neglected of physical and emotional nurture from my mother; my hypothesis as to the reason for my disaffection.

No. You have some type of psychological defect from your childhood. 16
No, I have never felt this way and don't think it is normal. 13
Yes, I have never felt this way and think it is normal. 27
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Comments ( 21 )
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    You would be suprised how many girls get turned off by guys sharing their emotions. So no you dont have any problems. Its normal.

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  • timebobbu
    13 years ago

    Co za asy...

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    • [Old Memory]
      13 years ago

      Me gusta pollo.

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      • timebobbu
        13 years ago

        Succhiare il mio noci

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  • Uzzie101
    13 years ago

    Well this shouldn't be normal as it's human nature to crave affection, not be repulsed by it. But I'm certain there's many people like you. Not just women either!

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    i bet your not alone and i look forward to comments and maybe even solutions

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  • TheAnonymousOne
    13 years ago

    I'm just wondering what this has to do with your orientation, and why you mentioned that at the beginning?

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    • PlanetOfTheApes
      13 years ago

      @: TheAnonymousOne
      I mentioned that to clarify that my aversion to emotion isn't because I'm not sexually attracted to men.

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  • i330
    12 years ago

    I bet you are a very independent and self-sufficient person, and that you value this in others. This is why neediness in others puts you off. I think this is normal; I'm the same way.

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  • Jiovanie
    12 years ago

    For you it is normal, you didn't get the proper affection as a child, therefore it became foreign and uncomfortable. My mom is like that, and during my teen years it was worse. I don't get turned off but I'm very emotionally distant.

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  • 54mmyF0r3v3r
    12 years ago

    We all have things that we like, and that is what you don't like. It maybe that your dad wasn't like that or none of the guys you knew where like that. Or you knew too many and it made you hate it. Either way it is normal, whatever makes you happy is what matters.

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  • 343Boy
    12 years ago

    You could be in love with your father.

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    • PlanetOfTheApes
      12 years ago

      LOL. I'm not THAT messed up.

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  • swordfish
    13 years ago

    no, it's NOT normal. you have intimacy issues that you need to get therapy with. your relationships will always be superficial, sexual, and probably abusive. Feelings repel you because you've never known what to do with your own. you've probably turned them off and don't know how to turn them on and when someone becomes emotional it "turns you off". your problem is directly related to your mother, it will take some work to change what she did. what we experience during the formative years is what creates our personality and character. it's NOT impossible to fix, it is difficult but it can be done. people do it every day.

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    • [Old Memory]
      13 years ago

      I think I have issues like that. Of course, Ihave a ton of other issues, so I`m gonna focus on that for now

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  • plath_seeker
    13 years ago

    Feel the same way, guess it's something you have to overcome with time. Maybe your just afraid of falling so vulnerability is your safety net.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    You probably are not an emotionally dependable person, so it's a good thing.

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  • howaminotmyself
    13 years ago

    You said you were neglected by your mother, what about your father? Maybe you have "daddy" issues. How are your relationships with other females.

    Your story reminds me of men who never cry because they believe it to be "unmanly."

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    • PlanetOfTheApes
      13 years ago

      @: howaminotmyself

      Interestingly, my relationship with my father is excellent. As I recall, he took on the role of nurturer in place of my mother, who is emotionally desolate, and we have a best friend-like bond with each other today.

      I find I have much more difficulty establishing friendships with women than with men. In fact, despite once belonging to a close-knit group or clique of girls for the majority of my school life, I have very few individual friendships with those girls. I find it pointless and often uncomfortable to spend time alone with a girl, although there are a select few who I truly love and enjoy.

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      • Jiovanie
        12 years ago

        I have that same problem with guys, despite being homosexual. I dont like being alone with a guy.

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  • xxxMissFitxxx
    13 years ago

    I got confused half way through.

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