Is an obsessive creepy friend who acts like a psycho girlfriend normal

12% Normal
6 Comments

i have a friend who has admittedly had some kind of non/semiconcentual gay contact with a former room mate of his. he claims he's not gay but says he has to do gay foreplay or whatever with this dude so he can get rides to college and help paying his bills. while his sexuality does not bother me, the way he acts about me does. its creepy!!! and kinda gay.

he constantly calls me and if i don't answer he will call repeatedly like dozens of times in less than ten minutes, when i finally answer or call him back he questions where i am, where iv'e been, and why i didn't answer when he called. then he gets all dramatic saying things like "i knew it i mean nothing to you" "i thought we were friends" "i guess you'd rather go hang out with some new aquantences than your real friend". he also wants me to hang out with him all day every day. if im not home when he comes over or if i dont wanna go hang out at his house he starts getting all creepy and dramatic again. keep in mind that ive only known this dude a few months and im not gay nor have i given him reason to believe i am. he obviously has abandonment issues. and im obviously his only real friend so i dont wanna just stop talking to him like i think i probably should.

is this normal behavior? does anyone have any advice for me on how to deal with this situation

Voting Results
12% Normal
Based on 50 votes (6 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    well he sounds down right gay but he probably IS using you to make up for another friend he lost ~understander

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Jen118584
    14 years ago

    Just be honest with him and tell him he needs to chill and that he's being way too needy. Tell him you're happy to be his friend and you enjoy his company but that you're not in a relationship and he needs to be okay with you having your own life. If he doesn't take that well, all the more reason to cut ties with him and get rid of the problem altogether. He sounds extremely annoying, you're much nicer than I am, lol! :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    sounds gaayy...!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Bishonen87
    14 years ago

    God, I have a friend very much like this; he'll even call me on holidays when I'm spending time with my family. The sad part is, it's a one-way friendship where he contributes NOTHING because he doesn't even have a job and doesn't even put in the effort to get one; all he does is smoke pot and drink and eat and sleep and complain about his family. He is just like that... I'm not sure how common a phenomena obsessive friends are, but my obsessive friend is similar to Jim Carrey's character in "The Cable Guy".

    I dunno... the ideal thing would be to reason this out with him kindly and respectfully, but usually obsessive people have other mental ticks that might make them flip the scrip on you and make it seem like YOU are the one doing harm; I have personal experience with this as obsessive people are almost inevitably hard-headed. Even if you refer him to counseling, he might take it as an insult. Perhaps consider cutting ties with him... I'm sorry I can't help much as I'm going through the same thing. Anyways, best of luck to you!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • BirdyMojo
    14 years ago

    Just tell him, you need personal space and physical boundaries.... If he is a true and good friend, he will respect your wishes....

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Yeah set some limits. Step back and decide what it is that you want -if anything - from this relationship and do not base it on what he wants; which is your undivided & constant attention.

    Once you have decided, for yourself, tell him, nicely & clearly. And stick to it. Because he does seem to need support and to be connected, consider referring him to counseling services and any other student services at the college.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0