Intimacy gone with medical profession wife (ma)

I appreciate your comment , however im afraid you being naive about who health care workers are. There is no magic wand... Just because they see intimate parts on a constant basis doesnt make them less intimate or interesting. My wife used to believe that line as well. She no longer does BECAUSE she works in the industry. The comments the MD's make about atractive and unatractive intimate parts is shocking if you believe they have somehow become immune to natural physiological responses. Men who view porn dont like it less when they view more... The opposite happens, they NEED more and more.
When the new male doctor she works for admitted that he LOVES that part of his job and misses it when he is away, she finally realized that health care workers are not transformed when they put on a white coat. They cant control thoughts and physiological "normal" responses... Only how they act on those thoughts and responses. They "act" proffessional even though they still notice an attractive woman and the same thoughts you get, when younsee an attractive woman, guess what they do too. Duh

Thank you Zalenn, we had a long talk over the weekend (20th anniversary). Things are improving. Still looking for any positive advice.

What you are talking about is the patients response. It didnt bother you that there were 3 males present during your exam and you were not embarrassed about wearing a pad to the surgery. Also you felt it was no big deal that a female nurse showed your father how to Cath himself. I believe that is a big part of what works well in the health care system. Patients generally feel comfortable with their health care providers because the staff are trained to facilitate a good bed side manner and generally patients are very safe no matter who the health care professional is. Not all health care providers are comfortable in the same situations. I know nurses who hate having to Cath men and chose OB/Gyn as an area to avoid that kind of contact on purpose. Not everyone is the same... People are people no matter the profession.
FYI I am in the US and you are wrong about female nurses always being present for Gyn exams. It is only a recommendation to have a chaperone for intimate exams. The chaperone is there for the health care providers safety not the patients. Each group has there own rules about this. Most use a chaperone most of the time. There are times when it doesnt happen. The chaperone can also be a male nurse... Not often though. Men almost never get a male chaperone when a female health care provider examines them.
I really dont think this is a safety issue. Our health care system has made it very safe with minimal cases of actual abuse.
My situation isnt about the doctor patient relationship. Many people are naive about who their doctor is and what he thinks... thats fine. Its probably easier for people to get health care under that myth.
My issue is how do I fix the trust and communication in my marriage? How do I get the intimacy back when I feel it is no longer something just between us? How do I forgive the feelings of betrayal?

Totally different kind of doctor and could be very helpful.

ultimately you are making too big of a generalization.
first - I dont Loath the entire medical profession. I respect many individuals.
Second - Not everyone in the medical profession is there for the same reason. Some are altruistic as you state (not many) others are there for the money, or the control, or the title etc. some are there to see genitalia. That fact is supported by the several cases each year of Doctors filming or groping their patients. My father witnessed a male nurse opening my wifes gown to view her breasts when he came in to replace her IV bag. The nurse thought he was asleep. In the process he not only exposed her breasts to himself but also her father in law. something neither of them were happy about. Working in the field has opened my wifes eyes to the predatory nature of some "professionals" who have a position of trust and power.
Yes I agree that people are the same everywhere you go. My mechanic might have perversions but its much less of a problem while he is working on my car. There is the main issue of human physiology where its normal to notice or even be aroused by the opposite sex. I understand its not why most doctors are in the field but its naive to pretend its not part of the situation. I prefer to limit this type of exposure when possible.
it is a documented fact that attractive female patients receive more and longer intimate exams. Again this is something my wife has witnessed first hand. A certain male doctor will make room in his schedule for certain young and attractive patients and the office staff all laugh about it as if it is harmless.